Elisabeth Hasselbeck Woos Paul McCartney With Teenage Fingerpainting

Though Elisabeth Hasselbeck claims she was a designer in her pre-View life, she's best remembered as a considerably less loathsome Survivor contestant. Today, guest Paul McCartney inspired Hasselbeck to finally share her "art" with us. More »

Tom Cruise's BlackBerry Is Out There. Somewhere.

• Someone in Toronto has Tom Cruise's BlackBerry. The Church of Scientology will disavow any knowledge of the actions needed to get it back in the event an agent is caught or killed. [P6]
• Vegetarian animal-rights-campaign Paul McCartney is too much of a hippie pansy to kill off the rampaging army of wild boars breeding on his British estate. Neighbors worry the delicious animals "could kill someone." [Sun]

• If CNN is so fat and flush, why did it "part ways" with the guy in charge of hiring people? Please tell us it's because he wasn't hiring people fast enough. Because CNN is the last best hope.
• Anna Wintour went to the opera with "Shelby Bryant" or Shelby Bryan? Solve the riddle, Page Six!
• Cipriani: Our menu is so controversial it sent the owner into exile. In Uruguay! [P6]
• Cameron Diaz "totally scoped... out" Keri Russell's carpenter husband at an Oscar party. And Keri Russell so did not feel threatened. [Daily Star]

Everyone Randomly Texting Their Exes

• Sean Penn kissed a man for a movie, and for some reason sent an excited, rhyming text message to Madonna about it. [Fametastic]
• David Spade also sent a text message to his ex-girlfriend, Heather Locklear, because he wanted to make sure she's OK after her drunk driving arrest, and nothing says "I care" like a "U OK? LOL!" [Us]
• Jude Law told everyone he was in London vacationing with his kids, but really he was holed up in his New York hotel room with a dancer for days on end. Like he can't do that anywhere. [P6]
• Angelina Jolie confirms she is demanding more babies. Brad Pitt just looks so exhausted. [Mail]
• Do not offer Tom Arnold a Diet Coke, unless you're some sort of undermining monster. The man's in recovery. [Daily Star]
• Paul McCartney wrote a very special song for Heather Mills. [P6]
• The Philadelphia woman hired by Oprah to run her South African girls' school is suing the talk-show host for defamation. Oprah is accused of saying on TV that the woman covered up abuse at the school. [People]
• Courtney Love supposedly had "gastric band surgery" because she thought she was fat. [Hollyscoop]

Your 90210 Spinoff Was Beneath Tori Spelling Anyway

Fashion Jew Not To Be Trusted, Says Post

Brits Still Obsessed With Heather Mills

Once upon a time Heather Mills had the audacity to marry Paul McCartney and a funny island nation got really, really upset about it. So upset that they're still coming up with stuff like this: "Heather Mills has been accused of breaking a promise to a disabled mother whose artificial legs she promised to pay for. The 40-year-old ex-wife of Sir Paul McCartney — who herself has an artificial after she was hit by a car in 1993 — met Maria Rybkina, who was left tragically disabled in a train accident, in her Moscow flat four years ago. Heather promised 28-year-old Maria a personal donation of $20,000 to provide her with new artificial legs, but it has now been claimed that the former glamor model never handed over the cash, despite repeated promises to do so." More »

Nude Photos of Heather Mills Are Unappealing (And Not Just Because of Her Missing Leg)

Maybe she was a porn star. Maybe she was a prostitute. Maybe she was even a good homemaker (though not likely). Yet the one occupation Heather Mills is known for that continues to confound us is modeling. In 1986, after failing at a number of jobs (and being arrested for stealing from one), Mills started her own modeling agency. Her number one client? You guessed it — herself. These recently surfaced pictures were shot in 1999 and are not as raunchy as the ones we've seen in the past. In fact - while not particularly attractive - they're almost classy. The only thing that's missing is the airbrushing that we as a society have come to expect. Oh, and her leg. More »

The Times' Heather Mills Dirt Is So Classy

Paris Hilton Imitates Selflessness

Sleeping With Ex Beatle Pays Better Than Sleeping With Governor. Duh.

Beatles to quit hiding their digital love away

More »

Shaquille O'Neill Divorces Longtime Wife