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Exclusive: Jared Paul Stern's Book Proposal, Ghostwritten by Sammy "the Bull" Gravano
Because the world simply cannot have enough gossip industry-inspired novels and memoirs and no one in their right mind could ever tire of a man who dresses like the seersuckered incarnation of Mr. Peanut, we happily present the proposal for former Page Sixer and accused extortionist Jared Paul Stern's memoir. Luckily, we've snorted enough adderall today to happily transcribe most of the godforsaken hard copy, just so that we might share its hilarity with the world. The working title is Stern Measures (of COURSE), and if Mickey Spillane hadn't died, surely this would've killed him:
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By JessicaComment by Joe Buck: "droit du seigneur" Must be some Joe Francis reference. I don't recall Henry Hill bein' that fancy with words. more » | Other threads
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payola six
Payola Six: Johnson and the FBI to Enjoy Romantic, Candle-lit Questioning
In media years, it's been nearly two decades since former Page Sixer Jared Paul Stern allegedly attempted to extort billionaire Ron Burkle. The snails at the FBI, however, haven't forgotten. Last month, the investigation was referred to Attorney General Alberto Gonzales for final review; it would seem that he's approved further work on the case, as New York mag reports that Page Six editor Richard Johnson has been "contacted for questioning by a group that includes prosecutors from the Southern District and federal agents."
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By JessicaComment by ambitious heckler: though if RJ helps on this maybe he can get the Feds to make that little DUI thing go away? more » | Other threads
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zink
'Zink' Mag's Selective Biography of Jared Paul Stern
If your long-term memory is not yet completely shot, you may recall that in April, during the rosy days of the Payola Six scandal, Zink magazine issued a press release reminding everyone that while alleged extortionist Jared Paul Stern sat on their masthead as a contributing editor, his work at the mag never "entered into the sphere of gossip" and, to their knowledge, he had not committed any major crimes while doing his work for the publication. OK, Zink — thou doth protest too much, but you need the attention so it's OK. More »
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By JessicaComment by Marvelous Marv: I know that innocence until guilt is proven is not the mediawhirl way, but has anyone even indicted jared paul... more » | Other threads
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radar
A Bad Weekend for Ron Burkle
Now that the California Supreme Court has rejected shaken-down billionaire and alleged Radar investor Ron Burkle's bid to keep his divorce papers sealed, the press is free to dig into 1,200 pages of domestic bliss. Amongst the gems: ex-wife Janet says, "common for me to spend $15,000 at one time at Barneys, and my average monthly expense for clothing was at least $10,000 (a conservative estimate)." More disturbingly, Burkle seems to have spied on Janet, telling their daughter that he had footage of Janet sleeping with her boyfriend. More » -
payola six
Payola Six: The Ball's in Gonzales' Court
The News reports that the findings in a federal probe into former Page Six staffer Jared Paul Stern's alleged shakedown of billionaire Ron Burkle have been passed along to Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez for final review. Passing the case along to Gonzalez suggests that prosecutors want to move forward rather than close the case, as they must obtain the "express" OK from the attorney general in order to arrest, interrogate, or indict any journalist. More »
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By JessicaComment by Leon Freilich: Minimemo from Attorney General & Bush Amigo Gonzalez: Your probe is incomplete; It's lacking clarity; Who is and who is not GOP? more » | Other threads
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page six
Page Six Should Have a Field Day With This
Yesterday afternoon the California Supreme Court rejected billionaire Ron Burkle's petition to keep records from his nasty divorce sealed, meaning that a lot of important financial and unflattering personal information will be available to the public. At least he doesn't have to worry about a magazine like Radar digging into his ugly personal life; though it certainly would make for an interesting and very Radar-esque story, Maer won't be touching it with a $19 million pole. More » -
jared paul stern
You May Judge Jared Paul Stern's Book Only By Its Cover
FishbowlNY scores a small scoop today with Jared Paul Stern's "book cover concept," as designed by famous book designer Chip Kidd: More »
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By JesseComment by the earl grey: 1) can we PLEASE declare skulls over NOW, OK? that is one rank skull, chipperinoo. 2) I promise i will... more » | Other threads
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ron burkle
Payola Six: Did Ron Burkle Blow It?
Variety editor Peter Bart sends a memo to shaken-down billionaire Ron Burkle, noting that if Burkle really wanted to be left alone, he would've acted a bit more wisely: More » -
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ron burkle
Ron Burkle Can't Resist Freebies
You'd think that with one foot in the Payola Six scandal and the other soaked with ties to Anthony Pellicano, billionaire Ron Burkle would want to lay low. Au contraire, darlings — he's out and about and, according to our embedded reporters in LA, having quite a good time with the Us Weekly freebies: More » -
photos
'Daily News'er Jo Piazza, Gorging on Turkey
Maybe our boss is being paid off by Jared Paul Stern. Maybe he's trying to score with him. (Ah, those lips.) Either way, we've received orders to continue this ongoing and misguided campaign to suggest that everyone is as corrupt as Page Six is (they're not) and to obfuscate the reality that no matter what other skeeziness exists in the world JPS is still the one on tape asking Ron Burkle for hush money (he is). In today's installment, here are photos of the Daily News's Jo Piazza*, a reporter for the Rush & Molloy gossip column, on that junket to Turkey we previously mentioned. That's her in a headscarf above. And there's more after the jump. More » -
payola six
Ron Burkle, Billionaire Invertebrate
As we wait for the Payola Six scandal to churn up something new and interesting, we return to one of first questions: What was billionaire Burkle trying to hide? More on his young model habit, from the Livejournal of a reported part-time model/American Apparel employee: More » -
payola six
Payola Six: 'Times' Keeps Whispering Sweet Nothings to Ron Burkle
The Times has an front-section piece today on the latest twist in the Anthony Pellicano wiretapping saga that's metastasizing through Hollywood. Today's wrinkle: A prominent L.A. divorce lawyer who used Pellicano on his cases "was aware of at least one instance of his illegal wiretapping." And how does the Times describe this attorney? More » -
page six
4% Fictitious
Rush & Molloy report today that former gossip Deborah Schoeneman was looking nervous the other night "when she heard that some of her former colleagues from the New York Post" were at the same party. Her gossip industry roman clef, 4% Famous, details the unflattering exploits of "Column A," particularly those of its freebie loving editor and his drugged up successor, "Tim." Purely a work of Schoeneman's imagination, of course. More » -
payola six
Payola Six: Burkle's Billions Can't Buy a Subtle P.I.
According to some emails we've been forwarded, it would seem that someone in Beverly Hills has hired a private investigator to look into Page Six and, in this instance, recently deposed freelancer Fernando Gil: More »
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By JessicaComment by RobotsonCasiotones: i can't decide if a female investigator with the email address "nancydrew..." is rad or completely retarded. more » | Other threads
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payola six
Payola Six: 'NY Press' Plays Nice, Cuts Dechert Loose?
As are a great deal of our favorite items, this is completely unconfirmed — but we'd like to put it out there anyhow: We're hearing that wildly unpopular and infamously skeezy writer Doug Dechert has lost his column at the New York Press after just one installment. His debut was last week's issue, in which he wrote the cover story about Payola Six and, more specifically, Richard Johnson's wedding. We had found the item at the very least amusing, but it later came to light that Dechert had crashed the wedding (makes sense, as no one in their right mind would want him there), whereas the column read as if he were an invited guest. That might piss off an editor or two. More » -
payola six
Payola Six: Check and Double-Check Your Burkle
On Sunday, the Times ran a disconcertently glowing story about shaken-down billionaire Ron Burkle's friendship with Bill Clinton. One of the fuzzy details included was how Clinton and Burkle had met; according to the Times, the two were introduced after Clinton had heard that Burkle's supermarkets were spared in the LA riots because he was so good to his employees. After Slate's Mickey Kaus pointed out that Burkle's properties weren't so much spared as torched, the Times has put its tail between its legs: More »
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By JessicaComment by the earl grey: bernie: I dont say heidi, but I do think that a financial arrangement must be involved in burkle 'dating' so... more » | Other threads
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ron burkle
Payola Six: Burkle Charms the Pants Off the 'NYT'
No long able to justify any intense, above-the-fold, gossip industry fun, Times had an oddly feel-good article about shaken-down billionaire Ron Burkle and his business-boosting friendship with Bill Clinton. In short, Clinton helps Burkle's Yucaipa Companies "find investment projects," and Burkle's profits help Clinton pursue his philanthropic projects around the world. So how'd these two power-brokers forge a friendship? According to the Times: More »
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By JessicaComment by large orange: The article Kaus references says that 44 groceries were shut down due to riots, while "a handful" burned to the... more » | Other threads
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ron burkle
Gossip Roundup: Ron Burkle Returns to Page Six
• After a few week or so of silence, Page Six makes a tiny jab back at billionaire Ron Burkle, noting that he "carefully avoided" sitting next to any models at Lionel Richie's concert the other night. Somewhere, a California supermarket spontaneously bursts into flames. [Page Six] More »
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By JessicaComment by Bubba Barney: Katie's not a virgin. She dated Chris Klein, and he's kind of a jerk. According to that interview he did... more » | Other threads
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payola six
Payola Six: Those Rotten Freelance Apples
There's a little housecleaning over at Page Six today: The News reports that the column has let go of all of its freelance employees, presumably in reaction to the Payola Six scandal. Along with alleged extortionist Jared Paul Stern, freelancers Fernando Gil, Lisa Marsh, and Chris Tennant have been sacked; cutting them loose is editor Col Allan's way of "tightening ship." Brilliant, because they're the real problem, obviously the ones to blame for the column's pay-for-play culture. They may only show up one or two days a week, but you can bet they just poisoned the office with their unethical, part-time presence. More » -
payola six
Update: The Case of the Pants Pooping Junket
Earlier this morning we made a passing reference to an item posted on Jossip regarding the semi-infamous Jaguar junket in Napa attended by Page Six reporter Chris Wilson. According to the Jossip item (which has since been updated), the Napa trip was marked by an incident in which Wilson was said to have shat his bed and then burned the sheets to hide his, uh, tracks. More »
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By JessicaComment by George Clooney: Guy Cimbalo's name is part of the url in Hauslaib's comment above. Looks like it'll be tough for him to... more » | Other threads
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payola six
Payola Six: Poopy Pants Are Not Tolerated
Nice cover story in the latest New York Press on the Payola Six scandal — so maybe they're a week late to the party, but they still bring with them some nice treats. Doug Dechert attended (UPDATE: make that "crashed") Page Six editor Richard Johnson and Sessa von Richthofen's wedding festivities, reporting that guests were concerned that Sessa's supposedly aristocratic father was "really born on the wrong side of the blanket and only adopted his father's family name later in life." How mortifying to have your wedding guests tittering that you might just be of average lineage. More » -
payola six
Payola Six: How Much Is That House in the Catskills?
Yesterday the L.A. Times delivered its own let's-go-visit-Jared-upstate-and-hear-how-he's-been-wronged piece. And what does the paper tell us about the Stern homestead? More »
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By JesseComment by Leon Freilich: The Times splashed another 4000 words today about Page Six. Here's what to expect next:--: Constantly evolving, like haut couture... more » | Other threads
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page six magazine
Page Six Mag Back for Another Round
The Times reports today that despite the recent scandal surrounding the gossip column, issue 2 of the Page Six magazine looms over our otherwise peaceful horizon. The first issue's editor, alleged extortionist Jared Paul Stern, won't be on board (shock), but otherwise we can look forward to another issue of the same glossy reporting. Naturally, advertising in the magazine has its benefits: More » -
payola six
Remainders: How to Prepare a Placenta
• Assuming Tom Cruise does eat placenta, he learned how to serve it courtesy of Vice. It's like Food & Wine for the flesh-eating hipster set, after all. [Viceland] More »
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By JessicaComment by astralgirl01: Is Natasha Lyonne in rehab? I thought she was still out there, crackin' it up?!?!? more » | Other threads
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payola six
Payola Six: JPS's 'Radar' Pseudonym? A Big-Screen Blackmailer, Natch.
Here's an interesting Payola Six detail we haven't adequately examined, published last Wednesday in the Times:
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payola six
He Prefers Works From the Hudson River School
Though we're trying our hardest to forget the fun of this past weekend, we couldn't help but notice a gem in the mailbag from Jared Paul Stern's poo-slinging tenure as guest editor. We'll share it without comment: More »
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By JessicaComment by the earl grey: Wilson hails from Willingsboro, NJ. I learnt this from NY Times page 2 corrections, they had wrongly called him a... more » | Other threads
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page six
Payola Six: Now With Disclosure
Writerly comedian Steve Martin takes to the pages of the New Yorker, where he reimagines the Page Six of the future, complete with soul-saving disclosures: More » -
simon dumenco
Payola Six: Simon Dumenco Hates Jared Paul Stern for His Clothes
Ad Age Media Guy Simon Dumenco is, as always, angry. This time it's at Jared Paul Stern — who else? — and, interestingly, it's not that Simon is mad at Jared for his journalistic ethics or his crudely miscalculated shakedown attempt or his subsequent spin campaign. Simon is mad at Jared for his clothes — which Stern claims was the real reason he was asking Ron Burkle for money: More »
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By JesseComment by the earl grey: she: polos with popped collars have been great since at least 1980 and its not going away. if YOURE a... more » | Other threads
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new york magazine
Payola Six: 'New York' Mag's Reality Check
Realizing that perhaps an online poll is not even close to an accurate gauge of the general public, New York shoved a few interns out to Union Square, where they took a random survey of 100 pedestrians on matters of media, gossip, Page Six and fedoras. For those of eating, sleeping, and shitting in the clusterfuck, the numbers are a refreshing reminder of how much (or little) this stuff matters. That being said, we still think this story makes Darfur look weak. More » -
jared paul stern
Letter From the Editors: And How Was Your Weekend?
Ahem. Well. That was interesting. Good news, though: It's over. Mommy and daddy are back now, kiddies, and everything will be all right. Comments won't be deleted or edited anymore. (In fact, we'll leave them entirely alone, like we always do — and, don't worry, JPS's habitual mendacity notwithstanding, they're as anonymous as ever.) We'll talk about things other than Ron Burkle. And we'll always remember that, whatever else happened in their interaction, and however scummy Burkle may or may not otherwise be, Jared Paul Stern is nevertheless on tape demanding the man pay him off to the tune of $100,000 up front and an additional $10,000 per month. So relax and enjoy the new good old days. More » -
payola six
Letter From the Editors: Jared Paul Stern, All for You
In a stroke of questionable genius from our otherwise-adorable management, disgraced Page Six staffer Jared Paul Stern will be guest-editing Gawker this weekend. Why? We don't know — those answers exist somewhere high above our pay grade. Nevertheless, far be it from us to punch in on a weekend to keep Jared away from the controls, so we suppose he'll be in charge of things until Monday. Do stop by and get your dose of Level Three protection. More »
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By JessicaComment by slurred speech: The First Amendment is a vain set of useless words. more » | Other threads
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jared paul stern
Skulls & Bones Is for a Very Specific Niche
And, you wonder, if Jared Paul Stern's clothing line is anywhere close to successful, why would he need an infusion of cash from any billionaire, whether one being shaken down or otherwise? More »
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By JesseComment by Calaverius: Rugby "started" this??? United bamboo did this like four years ago, and honestly if I see one more skull on anything I'm... more » | Other threads
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payola six
Payola Six: On the Matter of Junkets
Yesterday we pointed out a Daily News article about Page Six grizzly bear Chris Wilson, who last June went on a lavish junket in Napa, courtesy of Jaguar. While those still unfamiliar with the inner-workings of a gossip column may shake their heads and cluck their tongues, working gossips know that this sort of shit happens more frequently than anyone would care to admit. If we're going to note that Chris Wilson had a cost-free luxury weekend, it's only fair to mention that the gossips at the Daily News do the same thing. A quick search on Patrick McMullen's website reveals George Rush at a junket on Canouan Island, just south of St. Vincent and the Grenadines; his reporter Jo Piazza took a junket to Turkey (of course, Page Six's Fernando Gil was also there). Naturally, the Daily News didn't have to shell out much of anything for either trip. More » -
ron burkle
Remainders: Party With Bill and Burkle!
• Random and completely unconfirmed, but we hear Ron Burkle is hosting a "celebratory" dinner for Bill and Hillary Clinton on April 21. Richard Johnson will be flown out to the event for free, we're sure. More » -
chris wilson
Payola Six: Junket If You Got It
Today, we learn that we're working for the wrong column: More »
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By JessicaComment by the earl grey: Times, april 12: "On Dec. 16, an item appeared in Page Six that said Mr. Burkle and other wealthy figures... more » | Other threads
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jared paul stern
Payola Six: Ten Questions With Jared Paul Stern
For those of you blissed-out under your rocks, last Friday news broke that Jared Paul Stern was being investigated by the FBI for allegedly extorting billionaire Ron Burkle. The resulting media tizzy since has suggested that Page Six is corrupt, Stern is a slimeball, and Burkle is a creepy control freak. All of which could be delightfully true. More »
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By JessicaComment by Rob Sterling: To believe that Stern did anything wrong you have to believe three things: Stern actually attempted to extort money from Burkle... more » | Other threads
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beauty
Payola Six: Scandal Spreads to Style Section
Today's Thursday Styles profiles Lucky beauty director Jean Godfrey-June, whose memoir, Free Gift With Purchase: My Improbable Career in Magazines and Makeup, comes out next week. To which we can only ask, free gifts? Indeed: More » -
payola six
Payola Six: What's Burkle Afraid of? (And What's Maer Biggest Fear?)
Slatester Mickey Kaus went once more into the Burklian breach late yesterday, this time unpacking the Page Six-slaying billionaire's WSJ piece condemning, essentially, all manner of gossip reporting. It makes Kaus wonder: More »
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By JesseComment by the earl grey: narnia, my own magazine critiques, I consider 'Thorough.' Not verbose, but you are of course... more » | Other threads
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payola six
How to Quietly Turn a Suspension Into a Termination
As they are wont to do with even the most non-competitive of their competitors, today's Page Six happily summarizes the death of the Times' Boldface Names columns (and, we have to add, the tone strikes as a bit too gleeful given the current circumstances). They note that in editor Bill Keller's announcement, he made it clear that the decision had nothing to do with the "the bonfire at Page Six." Page Six writes: More » -
amy sohn
Remainders: Amy Sohn Capitalizes on Motherhood
• New York mag's sex columnist Amy Sohn spares us her return. Instead, she'll be writing in-depth features for the magazine on matters such as breast milk and bjorns, reasoning that "parenting is hot right now." Yeah? Tell that to our Ortho Tri-Cyclen, crazy lady. [NYO] More »
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By JessicaComment by Congressman Bob Arnold: Selling out is hot right now. more » | Other threads
payola six
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