Michael Phelps' New York Bender

It's all relative: Madonna's way less grounded than her ex; Vancouverites are higher than Britney Spears; Tina Fey is as folksy as her neighbor; and Michael Phelps isn't quite the drunkest clubber. More »

Peaches Geldof Goes 'Lesbian' In Latest Lindsay Lohan Imitation

Peaches Geldof just made headlines in the London tabloids for announcing on Facebook she has "married" her lady DJ friend. It's a joke/publicity stunt, of course, but it did get us thinking: More »

Octo-Mom's Kids Already Forming Gangs

In Tuesday's disturbing relationship newsdump, we learn Nadya Suleman's kids brutalize her, Rihanna's Chris Brown reunion riled her family and dinner with TomKat is as weird as you think. More »

New York Fashion Week Day 6: The Little People

Fashion Week isn't just low-tier celebrities and odd-ball fashion designers. It's also backstage people and ugly old people and stuff. Let's take a moment to honor them, in a photo gallery after the jump. More »

Socialite Protests Homeless Shelter's Lack of Electricity

[Heiress and writer Peaches Geldof at New York Fashion Week; image via Bauer-Griffin]

New Career for Dina Lohan: Hobo

She's done reality TV and (horrifyingly) interviewed her own daughter on the red carpet, and now Dina Lohan, mother of Lindsay and presumably other children, has an exciting new job opportunity: creepy Long Island transient. More »

Peaches Geldof's Charmed New York Life No Longer So Charmed

Peaches Geldof's great New York experiment has ended in shambles. She's divorcing her American Green Card-securing hubby, is rumored to be shacking up with a new fellow, and is maybe moving back to London. More »

Peaches' Hipster Williamsburg Marriage a Sham! Duh.

New Williamsburg It girl, the Nylon-'working' 19-year-old Brit tabloid smash (and washed-up rockstar daughter!) that is Peaches Geldof, has so pulled the second-oldest trick in the book:

Why Did the Peaches-at-Home Photoshoot Disappear?

Wonders a tipster, "I know that Gawker posted about The Selby covering [Williamsburg Brit-It girl] Peaches Geldof's apartment... but did you guys notice how it's no longer there? Think it has anything to do with lovely husband Max [Drummey] not being anywhere in the photos/any trace of him in the apartment? Or is it just due to the fact that no bone can stand Peaches?" Hmm! (Come visit our rabbit warren, Mr. Selby—we promise we'll have plenty of boy-toys on hand.)

Peaches Geldof's Stupid Williamsburg Apartment

Maybe our ire at Brooklyn's new Brit-It Girl, sybarite Peaches Geldof, is misdirected. After all, anyone's allowed to move to Brooklyn. If they happen to have a nice apartment, then so be it. More »

Peaches Geldof Has Last Vanity Job in Media

We made fun of NYC's latest teen sybarite socialite (the Brooklyn version) Peaches Geldof, for barely having a "real job," what with her Nylon fashion mag columns and "modeling," etc. However, the U.K.'s Guardian reported she is launching... oh God... a magazine. It's called Disappear Here and co-edited with former GQ editor James Brown. It'll be handed out for free in New York (in secret places) this Thursday! How do they pay for it? Listen, cutting-edge hip freemag editors can't stoop to talking about money.

Conservative Scion Determined To Keep Late Parents Spinning

• Christopher Buckley is writing a tell-all book about his parents William F. and Pat Buckley. "This book is going to land hard in some quarters," he said. Not unlike endorsing Barack Obama. [P6]
• Alex Rodriguez and Madonna aren't even pretending it's just a coincidence they were in Mexico City at the same time. [AP]
• The Brits are very disillusioned the Britney Spears sullied the good name of televised music competition by lip-syncing on X Factor. [Daily Mail]
• Sean Penn doesn't want to be cast in gay kissing scenes when he could be cast in full-on gay sex scenes. [P6]
• No record labels signed up to buy Paris Hilton's second album, but that didn't stop her from recording it. [Scoop]
• Peaches Geldof's husband: "I'm bored of all this." [Sun]
• Amy Winehouse's husband feels bad about turning her into a junkie. [National Enquirer]

Peaches Geldof Has Mastered the Listicle!

Teen power child/sybarite Peaches Geldof's last essay for downtown fashion magazine Nylon, where she "works," was so mocked on both continents that she [or more likely, wiser Nylon editors] has scaled down her second screed. It's a listicle about things she likes, which is way less controversial than a highschool essay about why she hearts NYC, which gathered the most insane commenters on the Internet. But this effort: More »

Peaches Geldof Not Sure She Loves You Anymore

• Fameball and celebrity spawn Peaches Geldof, 19, was shocked to learn her secret wedding to musician Chester French, 24, may not, in fact, "last forever." In fact it may not last 100 days, pending the results of yet another secret getaway. [Sun]

More »

John McCain's Cold War With Tina Fey

• Tina Fey was "frosty" and "awkward" with John McCain on the Saturday Night Live set. Which is weird because McCain has been so polished and friendly in all his other televised appearances. [Scoop]
• Barack Obama has sewn up the crucial Tyra Banks endorsement. Presumably, the talk-show host waited until the last minute to keep us all in suspense. [Us]
• A "snarling" Diane Sawyer is asking her gang, the Good Morning Americas, why Barbara Walters and her posse of simps at The View are moving in on GMA's territory. Page Six is forecasting a bloody turf war. [P6]
• Unsurprisingly, Shannen Doherty is not too concerned with the future of print media or of the modeling skanks at Radar's party. [P6]
• Peaches Geldof "forgot" to pay for something before removing it from a store. For the fourth time. The latest shoplifting accident was at a clothing boutique in East London. [Sun]
• While trying to reconcile with ex-husband Kevin Federline, Britney Spears is communicating with her terrible paparazzo ex, from her crazy days. "Adnan searches the Internet for photos of her and then calls and comments on her outfits and her hair, and she loves it." [National Enquirer]
• Joaquin Phoenix is acting weird. Drunk/high weird? Unclear. [P6]
• Mickey Rourke was going to kill this guy who raped his friend, but was stopped by a priest. No further details are available at this time, or probably ever. [Sun]

Madonna Enraged At Gold Digging

• Madonna has her own Kabbalah counselor on staff to help her deal with her anger at soon-to-be-ex husband Guy Ritchie, who is just a terrible gold digger or something. A gold-digging famous movie director who hangs out with Jude Law and Robert Downey Jr. It's sad, really.
• Peaches Geldof was seen getting "friendly" and "especially chatty" with a rocker-not-her-husband. I can't tell if this item is supposed to be implying cocaine abuse, infidelity or both. [P6]
• Page Six calls the woman who did Sarah Palin's media training, a "top... presentation coach." In what regard, Postie? [P6]
• Rachel Ray on John McCain making ribs: "He was so passionate about the cooking process that he was militant. He has specific rules about everything!" In defense of John McCain, these fascist cooking rules might just be basic sanitation and safety and so forth. It is Rachel Ray. [R&M]
• Tom Cruise may show up at Matt Lauer's roast and be glib. [OK!]
• Miley Cyrus' dad Billy Ray told her not to get distracted from he career by her relationship with that male model Justin Gaston. She told her dad she needs her own apartment for, uh, "movies and,,, popcorn" with friends. Definitely not for premarital sex, which is a sin.
• Angelina Jolie is talking about finally marrying Brad Pitt. Her six hundred kids are talking about her finally marrying Brad Pitt. The only person not talking about her marrying Brad Pitt is Brad Pitt.
• Screw up an Ugly Betty cameo and you will never work in Hollywood again. Just ask Lindsay Lohan. [Scoop]

We Want To See the Unedited Version of Peaches Geldof's First Nylon Column

To answer someone's question of "and who praytell is Peaches Geldof?" It's "she is the latest It Girl foisted upon us, and we hate to snowball her semi-fame into a larger fameball by covering her, but the newshole is only so big, and we gotta write something." And also: "daughter of washed-up Irish rocker Bob" and the late Paula Yates. As we said, she's 19 and a little cokey and just moved here from London with her new husband to write/model at downton fashion mag Nylon, which we are sure pays very well! She's written her first column! And it is poetic. It's about the sunset and the Williamsburg bridge and how it feels when you're taking a cab over the bridge at night. New York is a magical place—and teen British expats understand this perhaps more poignantly than us cynics. More »

Klonopin Drug of Choice at Nylon, According to Power Children

Earlier, we called for Brit teen socialite-cokehead and It Child Peaches Geldof's firing, deeming her a menace to society. And then there's her friend, Internet phenomenon Cory Kennedy, famous for, um, being an "Internet It Girl" and dating that Cobrasnake dude? Anyway, when they are not "writing" and "modeling" for Nylon, Peaches is spilling the beans on what drugs certain co-workers at the downtown fashion mag—who might actually have to work!—are usin'. More »

Fire Peaches Geldof

Peaches Honeyblossom Michelle Charlotte Angel Vanessa Gedolf (her real name), NYC's latest teen-celebrity cokehead, is not doing so well in her glamorous media job. Imported from Britain, she's attending NYU (Olsen-twin style), and living in Williamsburg with her new musician husband. She "works" for It mag Nylon sometimes, but right now she's annoying MTV. She's Just Like Us: she's a pain in the ass at work and her bosses dislike her: More »

How The Subprime Celebrity Crisis Affects You

So I was in my bathroom last night, flipping through the "It Girl" issue of Nylon* and the whole thing reminded me of another thing I saw but had no desire to post about earlier this week, the fact that Leigh "Princess Coldstare" Lezark was photographed attending at least 21 shows at Fashion Week. Yeah, no one cares! Blame the Subprime Celebrity Crisis. More »

Meet New York's Latest "Celebrity" Cokehead!

So Peaches Geldof is moving to New York! And who praytell is Peaches Geldof? Besides the obvious spawn of that Irish new wave guy who might have faded into obscurity had he not gotten enormously rich helping starving African children or something. Well she is an avid cocaine consumer of course. And a socialite with a reality show of some sort in the UK. She missed being born in the nineties by about 200 days, which would make her nineteen, meaning she is off the market right now because she is married to some heretofore unknown "musician" with floppy hair (this happened in Las Vegas of course). She has a sister who is even younger and dumber. And now in the grand tradition she is planning on getting her "fresh start" living in "anonymity" and attending the "educational institution" NYU. Oh yes, and also, "working" at a "pop culture" magazine. Ooooh oooh which one?? More »