Lindsay Lohan might go to jail for going to Cannes. Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp are either fighting or screwing. A fight rages for twitter domination. Peaces Geldof exposes herself again. Saturday Gossip Roundup is not making this up.
[British scene queen and sex scandal star Peaches Geldof wears a surprising shirt on a stroll through West Hollywood. Image via Splash.]
Jessica Simpson wants to be Michelle Obama, somehow. Jennifer Aniston is locked in a fitness war with a swimsuit model. Peaches wore a confederate flag shirt. Brooke Shields. Sunday's Gossip Roundup is giving a voice to the (literally) small people.
Given Peaches' history with nude scandals and Eli's with disembodied butt pics, it'd be funny if she were. We keep trying to ignore Peaches Geldof, but she won't stop posing with people's private parts, requiring NSFW ass analysis.
With a tap of Zooey Deschanel's tambourine and a flash of Eli-Peaches PDA, begins Coachella, the California music festival where, every year, starlets muss up their hair and don frayed denim with the hope of landing an indie rock boyfriend.
Now that Charlie Sheen is supposedly back on coke and hookers, it's clear there are a bunch of stars out there who are at risk of ruining their lives due to drugs, booze, and other bad behavior.
Peaches Geldof was sacked from her job modeling underwear because of this little scandal. But don't worry, her hard-partying, 19-year-old sister Pixie just got a gig posing for Henry Holland's line for British department store Debenhams. These girls have skillz!
Though she's clearly been hitting the substances and sexy nudie pics a little too hard lately, British socialite Peaches Geldof refuses to go to rehab. Even though her own mother died of an overdose, and her Dad's begging her to.
Not only did he return to the internet today, Ben Bluett-Mills—Peaches Geldof pornographer and Reddit commenter of infamy—joined the Gawker commentariat and wrote us two emails. One was about youthful folly. The other was about his penis.
In a return as epic as the prodigal son's, Big Ben—Peaches Geldof's kiss-and-telling lover—arose and returned to Reddit on Easter Sunday, with two comments responding to the screed Eli Roth directed at his mother yesterday.
Torture porn provocateur and Peaches boyfriend Eli Roth wrote a letter chastising Meredith Bluett-Mills, "mother of 'thatcoolguyben'." He calls Peaches a "bright, intelligent, incredibly creative young writer" and vows to use the "instantaneous connectivity of the internet" against the Bluett-Millses.
Was it Sandy or was it Jesse? Or were they just getting rid of a couch? Maybe it's because Jesse got a mistress pregnant. Peaches Geldof goes "glassy-eyed," Ivanka's stalker used to stalk Tucker Max. Saturday gossip is moving on.
Ultimo has replaced scandal-plagued spokesmodel Peaches Geldof with fellow rock star daughter Georgia Jagger.
Peaches Geldof has been fired as a Miss Ultimo underwear model. The company says her (alleged) heroin-fueled sex party disqualifies her as a "positive role [model] that young women can aspire to." Sex parties should be fueled by lingerie only.
We have ascertained the location of 'Big Ben' Mills, who posted nude photos of an allegedly smack-addled Peaches Geldof. He is with his band, recovering from a performance where he inserted meathooks through his skin and dangled from the ceiling.
Ben Mills lives in Williamsburg and has "Big Ben" tattooed on his penis. He set the internet aflame with nude photos of British rock heiress Peaches Geldof taken during an alleged heroin-fueled Scientology sex party. Let us introduce him. [Updated]
Rockstar progeny and Brit scenester queen Peaches Geldof admits she posed for the "private" photographs posted online, but a rep is denying the cameraman's tale of heroin use and a morning-after visit to Hollywood's Celebrity Scientology Center.
Rockstar progeny and Brit scenester queen Peaches Geldof makes a cameo in a Reddit forum for "WTF one-night stand stories." A commenter describes an alleged heroin-fueled Thanksgiving Eve sex party—and waking up in the Hollywood Celebrity Scientology Center.
Sharon fantasizes about a capitalist end for her "waterbed" chest. Lil' Wayne is finally at Rikers, and now we know his real height. Kelly Cutrone saves the world with her vibrator. Tuesday gossip is climactic.
It wouldn't be a Fashion Week without a bit of drama, and nothing says drama like a good, old-fashioned fight. Plenty of people are squaring off, but there can only be one victor. Who will walk away champion?
