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New York, 9:20 AM
Sat Dec 19
42 posts in the last 24 hours

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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of TheMac TheMac
    11/24/08

    In reply to In Which I Try To Explain Twilight
    I once felt so irritated at the underlined sexism and religious repression in Twilight that I wrote a 3 page rant.


    But, yeah, I read all the books, and as soon as those pimply losers get their fill, I'm running to see it. Don't judge me!

     Reply
    TheMac was starred TheMac was unstarred
    Image of dandles dandles
    11/21/08

    In reply to In Which I Try To Explain Twilight
    Who cares if it's crap? At least bloody stupid human beings are reading something? Would you rather they watch the View?
     Reply
    dandles was starred dandles was unstarred
    Image of Richard Lawson Richard Lawson
    11/21/08

    @dandles: I wasn't aware that I told people not to read them.
     Reply
    Richard Lawson was starred Richard Lawson was unstarred
    Image of DorothyMantooth DorothyMantooth
    11/21/08

    In reply to In Which I Try To Explain Twilight
    Has Bulwer-Lytton perhaps started a series contest?
     Reply
    DorothyMantooth was starred DorothyMantooth was unstarred
    Image of minou minou
    11/21/08

    In reply to In Which I Try To Explain Twilight
    You want some insanely scary vampire fiction that is actually well written? McCarthy's "Outer Dark" is it. When I was reading it, I couldn't sleep if the book was in the same room.
     Reply
    minou was starred minou was unstarred
    Image of minou minou
    11/21/08

    @minou: Not that anyone asked.
     Reply
    minou was starred minou was unstarred
    Image of Multiphasic Multiphasic
    11/21/08

    @minou: Okay fine: could you sleep if the book was in the same room?


    Better?

     Reply
    Multiphasic was starred Multiphasic was unstarred
    Image of minou minou
    11/21/08

    @Multiphasic: No! Can you believe it?
     Reply
    minou was starred minou was unstarred
    Image of hellosunshine hellosunshine
    11/21/08

    @minou: And now I want that book NOW.
     Reply
    hellosunshine was starred hellosunshine was unstarred
    Image of Steverino Begins Steverino Begins
    11/21/08

    In reply to In Which I Try To Explain Twilight
    I think it's mostly #3. Most of the people reading this shit are teenyboppers who grew up with MTV Safe Sex specials playing 24/7; as a result, they're all either sluts or "good" girls who are somewhat fearful of sex now, so the whole vampire/dangerous sex thing makes sense to them. The good girls can have nice innocent parties together and play Clue and drink apple juice and talk about (ZOMG) Twilight and how that couple almost had sex and then a vampire ate them or whatever happens in these books, but it makes sense to them. (I'm basing all of that on my teenage cousin, btw.)
     Reply
    Steverino Begins was starred Steverino Begins was unstarred
    Image of If_I_Had_a_Poodle If_I_Had_a_Poodle
    11/21/08

    In reply to In Which I Try To Explain Twilight
    angel, angel, angel, angel
     Reply
    If_I_Had_a_Poodle was starred If_I_Had_a_Poodle was unstarred
    Image of Dandy Darkly Dandy Darkly
    11/21/08

    In reply to In Which I Try To Explain Twilight
    Do not compare this shit to Buffy.
     Reply
    Dandy Darkly was starred Dandy Darkly was unstarred
    Image of Alexis Alexis
    11/21/08

    @Dandy Darkly:


    Seconded and Thirded.

     Reply
    Alexis was starred Alexis was unstarred
    Image of hortense hortense
    11/21/08

    In reply to In Which I Try To Explain Twilight
    Sexually repressed vampires who sparkle in the sun.


    Is there anything we can't ruin anymore? Really?

     Reply
    hortense was starred hortense was unstarred
    Image of ADismalScience ADismalScience
    11/21/08

    In reply to In Which I Try To Explain Twilight
    This is a phenomenon wholly different than Harry Potter because it's for the cool kids. It's about the distant, pointless, unjustifiable feelings we have for larger-than-life caricatures of sex and sexuality. The characters have no greater cause than themselves and no sophisticated way to express their selfish, aging needs beyond the "love" they supposedly have for each other. It's the first tween book phenomenon that wholly and totally captures the empty narcissism of our modern celebrity culture.


    I'll be seeing the movie tonight at 7!

     Reply
    ADismalScience was starred ADismalScience was unstarred
    Image of NinaHagen NinaHagen
    11/21/08

    @ADismalScience: There Will Be Blood!
     Reply
    NinaHagen was starred NinaHagen was unstarred
    Image of PimpMyCouch PimpMyCouch
    11/21/08

    @ADismalScience: Dismal, are you really just a teenage girl and have been putting on this cynical banker act this whole time?
     Reply
    PimpMyCouch was starred PimpMyCouch was unstarred
    Image of ADismalScience ADismalScience
    11/21/08

    @PimpMyCouch:


    No. It's some form of relationship payback for my Sunday football ritual, I suspect.

     Reply
    ADismalScience was starred ADismalScience was unstarred
    Image of PimpMyCouch PimpMyCouch
    11/21/08

    @ADismalScience: Ah, yes. The ancient ritual of I-sat-through-your-silly-game-now-sit-through-my-beloved-movie-and-if-you-snicker-I'll-cut-you. How I adore it!
     Reply
    PimpMyCouch was starred PimpMyCouch was unstarred
    Image of PimpMyCouch PimpMyCouch
    11/21/08

    @PimpMyCouch: "sit through my beloved movie and if you snicker I'll cut you" got truncated. Ellipsis monster!
     Reply
    PimpMyCouch was starred PimpMyCouch was unstarred
    Image of DorothyMantooth DorothyMantooth
    11/21/08

    @ADismalScience: Youur review was brilliant, m'dear.

    And I'd advise you to get good and liquored up before 7:00!
     Reply
    DorothyMantooth was starred DorothyMantooth was unstarred
    Image of Sproing Sproing
    11/21/08

    @DorothyMantooth: I just read it. It is priceless.


    "You know how reading a long book can make your limbs fall asleep because you get engrossed and sit in one place for too long? As Twilight ends you'll think you've done that at first, but it's actually diabetes."

     Reply
    Sproing was starred Sproing was unstarred
    Image of PimpMyCouch PimpMyCouch
    11/21/08

    In reply to In Which I Try To Explain Twilight
    Thanks, Richard. Now I have Player's "Baby Come Back" in my head.
     Reply
    PimpMyCouch was starred PimpMyCouch was unstarred
    Image of hellosunshine hellosunshine
    11/21/08

    @PimpMyCouch: Goddamnit, now YOU've got a Swiffer commercial stuck in my head, PMC.
     Reply
    hellosunshine was starred hellosunshine was unstarred
    Image of Sproing Sproing
    11/21/08

    In reply to In Which I Try To Explain Twilight
    Thanks for Theory 3, Richard. I just read a post somewhere else that pointed out that Bella's description of pasty, near- shirtless Edward runs parallel to Joseph Smith's description of the half-clad Angel Moroni. The idea that women can only be "perfected" through their husbands, will ascend into Godhood with them, and must refrain from all sexual contact until then is Mormon blather through and through. But then, without Mormon blather, we wouldn't have Battlestar Galactica.
     Reply
    Sproing was starred Sproing was unstarred
    Image of southernbitch southernbitch
    11/21/08

    @Sproing: it's the weird religious and anti-feminist vibes i get from this work that has me skeeved out.
     Reply
    southernbitch was starred southernbitch was unstarred
    Image of bringmemyTofu bringmemyTofu
    11/21/08

    In reply to In Which I Try To Explain Twilight
    This is like my past obsession with Matt Christopher books.
     Reply
    bringmemyTofu was starred bringmemyTofu was unstarred
    Image of hortense hortense
    11/21/08

    In reply to In Which I Try To Explain Twilight
    You know that person in your writing workshop whose stories are all thinly veiled pieces about that "perfect" boyfriend who broke her heart when she was 16? And all of the stories are about how the world is against this couple, but somehow they defy the impossible and end up together, even though it's pretty clear that only one person in the story is excited about all this?


    That comes in book form now!

     Reply
    hortense was starred hortense was unstarred
    Image of Fate'sBitch Fate'sBitch
    11/21/08

    @hortense: Also the main character is immediately loved by all the boys and is "adorably clumsy" (but not clumsy enough to ever really embarrass herself).


    Turgid is also the best word to describe Stephanie Myers writing style.

     Reply
    Fate'sBitch was starred Fate'sBitch was unstarred
    Image of ADismalScience ADismalScience
    11/21/08

    @katieb: in charge of the war on the poor.:


    Yes. It's a book written in a style best described as inspired by Campbell's Chunky Soup. Or the water near Atlantic City. Take your pick!

     Reply
    ADismalScience was starred ADismalScience was unstarred
    Image of Alexis Alexis
    11/21/08

    @hortense:


    And once again I say, Twilight is the fucked up submissive sex fantasy of a repressed Mormon suburbanite.

     Reply
    Alexis was starred Alexis was unstarred
    Image of ♥AntiSocialSocialite♥ ♥AntiSocialSocialite♥
    11/21/08

    @hortense: I'm sure some form of the phrase, "You're no Edward Cullen" comes up in domestic arguments in the Meyer household.
     Reply
    ♥AntiSocialSocialite♥ was starred ♥AntiSocialSocialite♥ was unstarred
    Image of seancasio seancasio
    11/21/08

    In reply to In Which I Try To Explain Twilight
    is this movie a bizarre metaphor for menstruation?
     Reply
    seancasio was starred seancasio was unstarred
    Image of contains_hot_liquid contains_hot_liquid
    11/21/08

    @seancasio: You mean like Interview With a Vampire?
     Reply
    contains_hot_liquid was starred contains_hot_liquid was unstarred
    Image of belltolls belltolls
    11/21/08

    In reply to In Which I Try To Explain Twilight
    I can only watch one vampire thing at a time and I am currently catching bites and pieces of True Blood. However, 2009 is currently vampire free.
     Reply
    belltolls was starred belltolls was unstarred
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