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New York, 5:29 PM
Mon Nov 9
36 posts in the last 24 hours

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  • posts about #penguin more →

    We Know Which Publisher's Office Has Bedbugs

    Unemployed Blago Spotted Shopping for a Book Deal in Manhattan

    Penguin Books Proves The Entire Internet Can't Write A Novel

    Girl, I Do So Know What You Did This Summer

    DIY Covers for Penguin Classics

    Look Back in Penguin

    Penguin Classics Get Comical
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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of nirreskeya nirreskeya
    08/22/09

    In reply to We Know Which Publisher's Office Has Bedbugs
    Remember kids, bedbugs were nearly eradicated 50 years ago, but then Silent Spring came out. Maybe Houghton Mifflin will get an infestation next.
     Reply
    nirreskeya was starred nirreskeya was unstarred
    Image of bikini_lounger bikini_lounger
    08/21/09

    In reply to We Know Which Publisher's Office Has Bedbugs
    Publishing houses can't possibly have beds for employees, right? I mean, the bed/book combination is an automatic trigger for the body to shut down and pass out for 5 to 8 hours.
     Reply
    BookishLookish promoted this comment bikini_lounger was starred bikini_lounger was unstarred
    Image of BookishLookish BookishLookish
    08/21/09

    @bikini_lounger: Shhh, quit talking about me like that!
     Reply
    BookishLookish was starred BookishLookish was unstarred
    Image of City_Dater City_Dater
    08/21/09

    In reply to We Know Which Publisher's Office Has Bedbugs
    Have they found the carrier and forced him or her to fumigate at home?

    'Cos otherwise they'll just keep riding back into the office at the bottom of someone's tote bag...
     Reply
    City_Dater was starred City_Dater was unstarred
    Image of yourfriendandneighbor yourfriendandneighbor
    08/21/09

    @City_Dater: even "fumigating" at home doesn't work right away.
     Reply
    yourfriendandneighbor was starred yourfriendandneighbor was unstarred
    Image of Spirit Fingers Spirit Fingers
    08/21/09

    In reply to We Know Which Publisher's Office Has Bedbugs
    Ugh. You know it's never a good day for parasitic infestations. These stories just make me think of 9th grade Biology...ringworms, guinea worms, those white maggot thingies that crawl up your nose, drink your blood, then crawl out while you sleep, those fish that travel up and stay stuck in the man-shaft....yeah, my sensibilities can't handle it. So, bed bugs seem like the cotton candy of the icky-fuck-ick-Good Jesus! things that could happen to you.

    Also, David Attenborough and his wildlife series ruined everyone. Just everyone.
     Reply
    Spirit Fingers was starred Spirit Fingers was unstarred
    Image of Social Crimer Social Crimer
    08/21/09

    In reply to We Know Which Publisher's Office Has Bedbugs
    So you don't need a bed to have bedbugs? I guess penguins don't sleep in beds, so that makes sense.
     Reply
    Social Crimer was starred Social Crimer was unstarred
    Image of scroll_lock scroll_lock
    08/21/09

    In reply to We Know Which Publisher's Office Has Bedbugs
    The good thing about a bedbug problem is it's sure to get employees' minds off the infestation of rats the size of Dachshunds.
     Reply
    scroll_lock was starred scroll_lock was unstarred
    Image of skahammer skahammer
    08/21/09

    @scroll_lock: What you didn't know is that bedbugs can even be transmitted through internet posts and (especially) comments.

    Yeah, I know, it's freaky. Fortunately for you, I'm a licensed anti-vermin technician -- so just take off all your clothes and lie down over there, and I'll be with you shortly.

    Also you might enjoy this list of special offers -- good through the end of this month.
     Reply
    Edited by skahammer at 08/21/09 1:07 PM skahammer was starred skahammer was unstarred
    Image of scroll_lock scroll_lock
    08/21/09

    @skahammer: I believe you left out the part where you offer me $120.
     Reply
    scroll_lock was starred scroll_lock was unstarred
    Image of skahammer skahammer
    08/21/09

    @scroll_lock: Possibly you didn't read every clause of the waiver I asked you to sign. That $120 has already been invested for your benefit in my wholly-owned corporation -- and with no commission cost to you! The bargains just keep on coming!

    By the way, now would be a good time for you to sign that form. I believe I hear some rather heavy boot treads in the stairwell. That iPhone of yours pretty much does everything, doesn't it?
     Reply
    Edited by skahammer at 08/21/09 1:39 PM skahammer was starred skahammer was unstarred
    Image of scroll_lock scroll_lock
    08/21/09

    @skahammer: There's a typo here on page two: "Waiver of labiability".
     Reply
    scroll_lock was starred scroll_lock was unstarred
    Image of skahammer skahammer
    08/21/09

    @scroll_lock: Dammit. That's the last time I retain Joe Francis' lawyer to draft my legal documents. I'm trying to run a business here.
     Reply
    Edited by skahammer at 08/21/09 1:53 PM skahammer was starred skahammer was unstarred
    Image of scroll_lock scroll_lock
    08/21/09

    @skahammer: Get off your asset there and shitcan him.
     Reply
    scroll_lock was starred scroll_lock was unstarred
    Image of skahammer skahammer
    08/21/09

    @scroll_lock: I would can him, but when it comes to negotiating rights agreements with drunken coeds, the man has no peer. And that's kind of a core competence of the little dream factory I'm trying to run here.

    Anyway, I can't help noticing that your clothes are still (mostly) on. Any chance I can sweeten the offer with some free office supplies or perhaps menial cleaning services? I don't admit this to just any client, but I do own an apron.
     Reply
    Edited by skahammer at 08/21/09 2:19 PM skahammer was starred skahammer was unstarred
    Image of Mike Byhoff Mike Byhoff
    08/21/09

    In reply to We Know Which Publisher's Office Has Bedbugs
    Doesn't it take way more than a weekend to get rid of a bed bug infestation?

    I know I wouldn't be coming in Monday, that's for sure.
     Reply
    Mike Byhoff was starred Mike Byhoff was unstarred
    Image of Smitros Smitros
    08/21/09

    In reply to We Know Which Publisher's Office Has Bedbugs
    Yes it does.
     Reply
    Smitros was starred Smitros was unstarred
    Image of BookishLookish BookishLookish
    02/12/09

    In reply to Unemployed Blago Spotted Shopping for a Book Deal in Manhattan
    His book will not make a dime.


    This kind of grim shit makes me glad Studs Terkel isn't around to see this.

     Reply
    BookishLookish was starred BookishLookish was unstarred
    Image of MrInBetween MrInBetween
    02/12/09

    In reply to Unemployed Blago Spotted Shopping for a Book Deal in Manhattan
    I would buy an audio book of Blago-Nut reading anything -- his poetry, his speeches, the transcripts of his wiretaps, even Ulysses.
     Reply
    MrInBetween was starred MrInBetween was unstarred
    Image of blix blix
    02/12/09

    In reply to Unemployed Blago Spotted Shopping for a Book Deal in Manhattan
    Senate Seats are for Closers.
     Reply
    blix was starred blix was unstarred
    Image of eatsshootsleaves eatsshootsleaves
    02/12/09

    In reply to Unemployed Blago Spotted Shopping for a Book Deal in Manhattan
    Chapter One

    Childhood, Or The Psychological Damage That Having A Name That's A Synonym for "Penis" Can Have For Future Decision-Making


    Chapter Two

    Shaking Down A Children's Hospital: "Those Fuckers Had It Coming"


    Chapter Three

    I Have This Thing And It's Golden: My Foiled Plan To Fix The Illinois Economy


    Chapter Four

    A Complete Index of Black and/or Disabled People I Know

     Reply
    eatsshootsleaves was starred eatsshootsleaves was unstarred
    Image of HiredGoons HiredGoons
    02/12/09

    In reply to Unemployed Blago Spotted Shopping for a Book Deal in Manhattan
    Who wants to read this schlock?
     Reply
    HiredGoons was starred HiredGoons was unstarred
    Image of uninspired uninspired
    02/12/09

    In reply to Unemployed Blago Spotted Shopping for a Book Deal in Manhattan
    Impeachment of a Salesman
     Reply
    uninspired was starred uninspired was unstarred
    Image of Mount_Prion Mount_Prion
    02/12/09

    In reply to Unemployed Blago Spotted Shopping for a Book Deal in Manhattan
    Grrr... Can't see comments again. DENTON! FIX IT.
     Reply
    Mount_Prion was starred Mount_Prion was unstarred
    Image of Mount_Prion Mount_Prion
    02/12/09

    @Mount_Prion: Seems like bitching made it better.
     Reply
    Mount_Prion was starred Mount_Prion was unstarred
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