Draymond Green’s long summer of cock and balls-related controversy—he kneed Steven Adams in the dick, swiped at LeBron’s dick, and acted like a dick—continues unabated. Earlier today, amidst pictures of Melo sleeping and general Team USA shenanigans, an artfully crafted dick pic showed up on Green’s public Snapchat My…
If ever there were a time that I wanted to see the receipts, it is now. I say that a lot, but this time I mean it. A 52-year-old Mexican man, Roberto Esquivel Cabrera, went viral recently for claiming he has a 19-inch penis. While that might make him the owner of the world’s biggest dick (who can ever be sure,…
There are some things you should know about Richard Matt, right, one of the two convicted murders who crawled out of a maximum security prison in New York this weekend. He has killed multiple people in two different countries. He has escaped from prison once before. He is, according to one cop, “the most vicious, evil…
Today, the Daily Mail brings us the story of Toudi, a three-month old chihuahua small enough to fit in the palm of your hand. Look at the tiny guy. Awwwwww. What a cutie. Awwwwwwww. Awwwwwwwwwwww... look at that huge dick.
Rejoice, peen-having members of this Earth: Doctors from University of Stellenbosch in South Africa successfully completed the world's first purported penis transplant—the patient has made a full recovery and "is sexually active."
A medical malpractice suit filed in Birmingham, Ala. claims that doctors at an area hospital amputated a man's penis without his consent while he was unconscious for a circumcision.
Missouri Republican State Rep. Mark Parkinson tweeted a fun erection joke this week and later deleted it, claiming he was out for a walk and "nowhere near" his computer when the tweet was sent. Tweets are only ever sent from computers, making his what we'd call a rock-solid alibi.
According to Brazilian model Tati Neves, 27, not only is Justin Bieber "marvelous and unforgettable" in the sack, he's also "very well endowed." Now who are we supposed to believe in the Bieber Penis Wars? The Panamanian prostitute who said Bieber was packing a "so-so" member or Neves, the married woman who …
On tonight’s Daily Show—right after Jon Stewart told John Boehner to not fart and “blame the dog”—Stewart spun his “Wheel of Happy Stories.” But the happiest story on this wheel is the giant uncensored penis under the “Full Frontal Clooney” category. When zoomed in, it looks exactly like this:
A London man called the London Fire Brigade to report that his penis was stuck in a toaster. While the firefighters were not given a sufficient explanation as to how his dick ended up in the appliance, they were able to safely extricate the organ.
Stick a fork in this story, humanity is done.
A Dominican man says he doesn't know how it happened, just that he woke up after a night of heavy drinking without his penis.
Siobhan Riley of Michigan's WJRT must have had men at work on her mind while illustrating the Saginaw roads affected by ongoing construction, because before she knew it, her subconscious had drawn a penis on the touchscreen.
Having had enough of arguing with his girlfriend over his drinking habit, a man in Keelung City, Taiwan, reportedly retreated to the bathroom with a pair of scissors in hand, and proceeded to slice off his own penis.
The trial has finally begun for Southern California woman who (sort of) famously cut off her husband's penis before throwing it in the garbage disposal. Opening statements were heard on Wednesday from the prosecution and from the woman's public defender.
Mad Men star Jon Hamm is furious about being treated like a walking wang.
Today, in very interesting human beings: Andrew Wardle, a 39-year-old British man who was a) born with no penis and yet nevertheless managed to, with the help of LSD and ecstasy, b) sleep with over 100 women and is now about to c) undergo surgery to turn skin from his arm into a functioning penis in the proper place.
When police in Trinidad and Tobago were dispatched to investigate reports of a gunshot coming from the area of a car parked in the town of Rio Claro, they did not expect to find a security guard slumped over the wheel after having just shot his penis off.
Earlier this week, to the delight of the young, the young at heart, gay boys and lecherous cable TV execs all around the globe, British boy band One Direction released the video for their single "Kiss You." This video is a thumbnail illustration of what makes this group so much fun to watch because it is so fucking…
Corey Curtis, a Wisconsin man, was about $85,000 behind in child support payments for two of his nine children (more on his super sperm in a minute). After pleading no-contest to one charge of felony bail jumping and one charge of failing to pay his child support, he received an uncommon punishment as part of his…
