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Disturbing Playstation Ad Will Put You Off Video Games Forever
Out of a Vienna ad agency comes this abomination of a Playstation 3 ad that, were there truly a God, would never have shone its dark light on world. Let me try to paint a verbal picture for you: it's a guy with a thumb for a penis. Plus-ten points to the ad agency for the excellent Photoshop work here; but minus-eight-billion points for ever letting this thing come into being. I never want to touch another Playstation as long as I live, much less another thumb. The full and uncut ad is below: beware. More »
News You Can Use
"Reports of so-called penis snatching are not uncommon in West Africa," so change your vacation plans. [Reuters]
"Reports of so-called penis snatching are not uncommon in West Africa," so change your vacation plans. [Reuters]
mavericks
Five Things You Didn't Know About John McCain's Penis
So now that we know everything we need to know about balls and penises, we've turned our attention to politics, and to the penis of John McCain, the man—the hero—who could be our next president. After the jump, five important facts about John McCain's penis. More »
listicles
Four Things I Already Knew About Your Penis And One That Grossed Me Out
You know what people like reading about? Penises! Half the population has one and the other half wants to get up on one. (Like the mainstream media, I choose to ignore lesbians.) Knowing what a hit these little (or big) guys are, CBS has a rundown of five things you did not know about your penis. Like No. 1: "Your Penis Does Have a Mind of Its Own". In eighth grade Latin, this kid would have the most awkward erections while we waited in the hallway before class to start. Now I know that his sentient penis just enjoyed dead languages. More shockers after the jump! More »
violation!
'Hot Rod' Dick Pix Doc Cocked Up!
A wacko doctor at the Mayo Clinic Hospital in Phoenix couldn't stop himself from photographing a patient's penis—because it was tattooed with the words "Hot Rod"! Says the patient of his artwork: "It was the most horrible thing I ever went though in my life." Okay, then we'll check back when pictures of your hot lil' rod end up all over the internet.
From the mailbag: "I saw Ian McKellen in Lear last night. I can confirm that, in addition to a truly inspired performance, he is still swinging some pipe. I hope that I'm still packing like that when I'm 68."
phallophobia
Alex Kuczynski Reminisces About Cocklearnin'
"The first time I saw an International Male catalog was at the all-girls Virginia boarding school I attended in the 1980s. The cool girls—the ones who owned their own horses and got BMWs for their 16th birthdays, with car-size bows on top—got the catalog in their mailboxes, along with subscriptions to GQ. The uncool girls, if we were lucky, got to peer over their shoulders at pictures of male models in thong bikinis. I found the presentation of male genitalia, packaged and posed and seemingly aroused, totally terrifying. Were they really that long and tuber-like? And were men supposed to stare at you in such a brooding, animal way, their eyes glowering at siesta level, their mouths puckered in baby-doll O's?" Read on if you like, but this is where we stopped. More »
"A dwarf performer at the Edinburgh fringe festival had to be rushed to hospital after his penis got stuck to a vacuum cleaner during an act that went horribly awry." [AFP]
Will New York's high rents result in a rash of penis incinerations? One analyst says yes. [Just Putting It Out There]
In a column called "Beating Joel Stein," (not, sadly, a how-to guide) the L.A. Times "humor" columnist introduces you to the finalist of his Comedy Special Olympics. Dude writes for Nerve and Babble and his piece is about circumcision. Sounds like a battle of equals to us. [LAT]
Why aren't our nation's researchers studying the vitally important "big shoes, big cock" hypothesis? It's an outrage! [WCS]
specialty meats
Italian Mocked For His Sweet Sausage
From the Post, this heartbreaking story of degradation and sexual harassment: James Bonomo, who sold paper for Mitsubishi International, slapped his former employer with a lawsuit after a night of karaoke gone awry. What happened? Seems that during a trip to Tokyo, Bonomo, his boss, "Tetsuya Furuichi, and a China-based Mitsubishi exec had dinner with a potential customer." As is often the case, penis portraiture ensued. More »
"You know, a penis is more than a phallic symbol made flesh. It's a warm, life-sized attachment that serves a number of utilitarian purposes, too, and over time develops its own wry personality and quirks, or so it can seem to its owner." Looks like Vanity Fair's James Wolcott is trying to get into the anthropomorphized penis business. Guess what, Wolcott? There's only one cock in these parts, and it's Mine. Back the fuck off before it cuts you a new peehole. [VF]
gawker week in review
The Manny left us unsatisfied.
At The Manny book party, Josh left some cougars unsatisfied.
We wondered about the ins and outs of circumcision.
We visited Pinkberry and found rats and culture.
We learned what eldergays are nostalgic for, Pridewise.
We worried that the Times is shrinking faster than it knows.
We found out how the rich get rid of their children for the summer.
We fooled around with the clippers.
More »
A Very Sexually Frustrating Week
the first cut is the deepest
What's The Flap About Reduced Circumcision Rates?
Yesterday, news broke that the circumcision rate in the US was the lowest it's ever been, with some states' rates hovering below 50%. Experts attribute the drop to immigration, as well as changing attitudes about breastfeeding, the increase in natural births, and a growing antipathy towards inflicting pain on babies because of some 'covenant with God' bullshit. (Well, or just the first three.) We clearly feel strongly about not cutting skin off little infant wangs, and also we think uncut dicks are cuter, but we weren't sure how everyone else felt. So we asked a handful of sluts, a gay and a heterosexual Jew. More »
"I wonder why in every advertisement I've ever seen for tummy tucks or nose jobs there are patient photos printed but in this brochure there are no BEFORE and AFTER penises." [WCS]
thursgay
