Otha Anders, 73, of Ruston, Louisiana, recently cashed in 45 years worth of collected pennies, netting himself $5,136.14—meager payment for a lifetime spent being driven slowly insane by the pursuit of pennies.
Fellow Millennials: What is your current savings plan? Chances are you probably don't have one. Here's a retirement plan you could try: Save every penny you find for the next 65 years; that's what 81-year-old Ira Keys did. Now he has $816 in cold, hard cash.
Jason West of Vernal, Utah, allegedly annoyed his dentist very, very much by trying to pay an outstanding $25 bill with 2,500 pennies. The dentist—who's apparently a coin snob—ended up calling the cops, and now West is being charged with disorderly conduct.
Washington State resident Ron Spears was really mad that he had to pay a $330 past due property tax. In protest, he decided to pay the whole thing in pennies. This did not go over well at the treasurer's office.
The Way We Live Now: Great, if we're millionaires. And we're not, any more. So the remaining millionaires use us as a global army of slave drones for their own whimsical amusement. Their "cash money" buys us nothing. We're enraged!
