Animal Planet is offering free pest control for anyone in the five boroughs with "severe pest infestations of any kind, from cockroaches and bedbugs to rats and raccoons. No infestation is too severe for their team."

With the Bedbug Apocalypse upon us, inspectors from the NYC housing authority want to buy bedbug-sniffing dogs, according to the Daily News: "It's something we've been looking at as we've seen the violations increase." Too bad they don't really work!

Today we told you a terrible, horrifying story about snakes in the toilet. This prompted some of you commenters to share your own creepy crawly stories. We're never going outside or to the bathroom again.

Just as bedbugs have taken over our internet, our media, our tourist attractions, and our movie theaters, we get a new pest to deal with: raccoons. Yes, raccoons, where you live. Christ. What infernal vexations must we fight off next?

We've long feared it, and now the national news media is confirming it. Bedbugs truly are going to be the modern-day plague that o'erwhelms us all. National infestations are growing rapidly and you know who's to blame? The children.

Yes, bedbugs are annoying little fuckers. They give you little bites, and make you wash all your clothes and maybe throw out your old couch. If they force a temporary shutdown of Hollister, that's fine. But they're god's creatures too.

A rainy spring in the northeast was "the perfect storm for mosquitoes," who breed in standing water left after rainstorms. Can't wait! To avoid painful mosquito bites, we recommend not having any blood in your body. [Fox]