Aniston sex partner and literary scion Justin Theroux shows his bush in this week's New York magazine, prompting squeals of dismay (and occasional arousal?) worldwide.

Now that Charlie Sheen is supposedly back on coke and hookers, it's clear there are a bunch of stars out there who are at risk of ruining their lives due to drugs, booze, and other bad behavior.

• An autopsy was performed on Brittany Murphy yesterday and while no obvious cause of death was determined, more should be known when toxicology tests are completed in several weeks. Meanwhile, police sources say a huge stash of prescription pills (painkillers, antidepressants, anti-anxiety drugs, antibiotics, etc.)…

• Rachel Uchitel, Tiger Woods' alleged mistress, is calling the allegations that she had an affair with the golfer "dumb," "stupid," and "ridiculous," and says "it's like asking me to comment if there are aliens on earth." Worst of all, she's bummed that as a result of this whole saga some "nice, normal guy" that…

Britney Spears spent two days in Atlanta with some mystery dude, Michael Jackson's doctor is being investigated for murder, Brad Pitt puts Ashton Kutcher in his place, Renee Zellweger prepares to get fat again, and Madonna's tour suffers a tragedy.

Kate Gosselin angrily eats a popsicle, inflating a Bounce House of Death. Susan Boyle's back, bitch! So is Britain-Bound Britney. And someone makes a dumb pun involving Paris Hilton and a hard-on. Presenting your Saturday morning gossip roundup:

Brad and Angelina are getting married in New Orleans, Brooke Shields settled with the National Enquirer for kidnapping her mother, Mariah Carey is getting fat, Pete Doherty shot up on a commercial flight, and Denise Richards is addicted to boob jobs.

• It looks like Heidi and Spencer Pratt and NBC concocted yet another clever PR stunt over the weekend. Heidi was rushed from the set of I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! to a hospital in Costa Rica for a stomach ulcer and later blamed NBC for "torturing" her. For its part, NBC is reminding the public they can…

Liza Minnelli turns 63 today. Darryl Strawberry is 47. James Taylor is turning 61. Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney is turning 62. Playwright Edward Albee is 81. Pete Doherty is 30. Author Dave Eggers is turning 39. Publicist Ken Sunshine is 61. Director Rob Cohen (The Fast and the Furious, XXX) is 60. Al Jarreau is…

[Rocker/drugger/Moss-dater Pete Doherty in Paris; image via Bauer-Griffin]

♦ Tom Ford would like you to know that he has not had any work done to that stubbly face of his: "I haven't had any plastic surgery—despite what people think, this is my nose... I have had Restylane and Botox, but I don't think of that as plastic surgery any more. It's true I can't really frown, but I can move my…

[Defiled rockabilly Pete Doherty leaving a Somerset courthouse today; image via Splash]

While Amy Winehouse is in the hospital with emphysema, her Brother in Crack Pete Doherty is cleaning up. Well, at least he's taking a bath. As part of his "Come to Gig" series on YouTube the drug-filled rocker brings you into his dark, scary, mildewy world as he prepares for a show. Video of a man in trouble after the…

By some rare stroke of British luck, original waif Kate Moss was born with a very superheroine-esque capability: no matter what she does, from the beautiful to the grotesque to the illegal, the act will somehow wind up looking chic. Remember, this is the girl who bent over a dirty mirror to snort crusty Peruvian…

I...god I'm the last person on this site who should be posting gossip...singer...stuff like this but everyone else is still out at bars and I'm drunk but here is Amy Winehouse playing with eating? baby mice along with what...looks like...Pete Doherty. God I hope any of this is really true because I'm going to bed.…