An inebriated Ashlee begs Pete to take her back. Mariah Carey's kids have diamond-encrusted diaper pins. Minka and Jeter break up. Emma Watson moves in with a lover, and so does Pippa Middleton, and so does Alec Baldwin. Friday gossip splits the rent.

It's Gaga's party, and she'll make Glambert cry if she wants to. Lindsay Lohan swears she wasn't drunk when she fell outside a bar in New York. Brangelina goes on a mini-vacation. It's TGIFriday gossip.

A pregnant ex-girlfriend materializes and turns Ryan Phillippe's life into a soap opera. A mystery starlet's cocaine video will make Miley Cyrus' bong "look like a Disney movie." A group of teen girls break into Justin Bieber's hotel room. Tuesday gossip has arrived.

Charlie Sheen has a nice meal while the LAPD searches his house for firearms. Ashlee Simpson rebounds with her husband's friend. Monica Lewinsky is "still in love" with Bill. TGIFriday gossip.

A man says he stole Paris Hilton's fancy birthday cake, and offers photographic proof. Lindsay Lohan goes clubbing, then home with Samantha Ronson. Ashlee Simpson parties until sunrise with sk8er bois. TGIFriday gossip.

Lindsay Lohan says the jewelry store that filed grand theft charges against her keeps changing their story. Scarlett Johansson is supposedly diddling Sean Penn, Jennifer Aniston wants to move to New York, and Pete Wentz is getting divorced against his will. Thursday's gossip makes bad decisions.

Totally rad super-couple Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz, she of the famous older sister, he of pop-pretentious band Fall Out Boy, are ending their nearly three-year marriage. The couple's son, Bronx Mowgli, will continue to be named Bronx Mowgli.

Multiple penis pictures hit the market—will we see West's wang? Katy Perry plans a monochromatic wedding. David Arquette wishes he didn't talk shit about his estranged wife's sex life. Thursday gossip has 20/20 hindsight and bionic penis-vision.

The blood of a thousand PR assistants runs through the streets after a frightful error leaves Wintour in the cold. Elin debates attending Tiger's press conference. Gabourey Sibide is so over Vanity Fair's all-white Young Hollywood issue. Thursday gossip ahoy!

Katie Holmes leaving a Starbucks yesterday morning and later taking Suri out to lunch ... Sandra Bullock shopping at FAO Schwarz and Henri Bendel ... Kate Bosworth leaving the Bowery Hotel ... Karolina Kurkova walking downtown with her fiance and son ... Vanessa Minnillo and Nick Lachey shooting a commercial in…

Kate Winslet shopping in SoHo with her son ... Jonathan Rhys Meyers walking into the Mercer Hotel with girlfriend Reena Hammer ... Bono and wife Ali Hewson at a bakery on Madison Avenue ... Channing Tatum getting in an SUV at JFK ... Ashley Olsen arriving at ABC studios for an appearance on Good Morning America ...…

Naomi Watts handing over some spare change to a panhandler ... Mischa Barton walking her dog ... America Ferrera walking to her trailer on the set of Ugly Betty ... Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott leaving ABC studios in Times Square ... Sarah Jessica Parker walking in the Village ... Mariska Hargitay filming scenes…

David Duchovny getting into a Town Car on the Upper East Side ... James Gandolfini walking into Barneys on Madison Avenue with his son ... Catherine Zeta-Jones leaving her apartment building ... Glenn Close walking her dogs ... Ashlee Simpson showing up at a hair salon in the meatpacking district ... Sharon Osbourne …

New York Times chairman and publisher Arthur Sulzberger Jr. doing a little shopping at the Duane Reade on West 72nd Street on Saturday afternoon ... Rachel Weisz walking to a yoga class in SoHo ... Scarlett Johansson leaving her apartment ... Agyness Deyn talking on her cell phone ... Whitney Port arriving at JFK with…

Larry King sold his suspenders. Anderson Cooper and Sanjay Gupta saved young Haitians. And Jessica Yellin made a terrible earthquake-related pun. Welcome to the strangest night yet of CNN's unrelenting prime-time Haiti coverage.

Alexa Ray Joel moving out of her East Village apartment ... Kelly Cutrone walking with her kids in SoHo ... Rachel Weisz leaving her apartment ... James Gandolfini putting gas in his Vespa before getting caught up in a bit of traffic ... Whitney Port walking with a friend in the West Village ... Mandy Moore leaving a…

Arpad "Arki" Busson sneaking out of ex-fiancée Uma Thurman's Village townhouse yesterday, shortly before Thurman made her exit as well ... Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie running errands in Midtown during the day and heading into Alto on Madison Avenue for dinner ... Catherine Zeta-Jones leaving her apartment building…

Julianne Moore standing on a subway platform waiting for a downtown train ... a spiffy-looking Kiefer Sutherland walking in SoHo ... Mariska Hargitay and Christopher Meloni filming scenes for Law & Order: SVU in Murray Hill ... Sarah Jessica Parker arriving at her townhouse in the West Village ... Teri Hatcher posing…

[Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson, people who still exist, brave the cold in New York today; image via Bauer-Griffin]

Regis Philbin walking with a cane following surgery to replace his hip recently ... Amy Adams leaving ABC after an appearance on Good Morning America ... Pete Wentz pushing baby Bronx in a stroller in SoHo and Ashlee Simpson getting coffee with Bronx and a friend ... Sarah Jessica Parker leaving a salon in the…