As one of the "buffoons" who was turned away on Thursday night (Averted), I can say it wasn't that cold out there on the sidewalk, only existentially cold ... still love me some Paper magazine, though.
Okay, Richard. Because it's Friday and Smithhimself is in his usual benevolent Friday mood, I am going to offer you my three rules for attending events such as this. Show up only:
1. There is an open bar with quality hard liquor being served.
2. Food is being served, offered by waiters. The food is not warmed-over Costco quiche.
3. There is a chance of nudity, sex in the bathrooms, or any other kind of outrageous behavior.
Can you bring back Blue States Lose? Just this once? Please? If you don't Jesus won't come out of his hole on Sunday and there'll be six more weeks of winter.
@TableNine: points on being cute and the shiny dress and hair. Lolita glasses, horrible over-produced shit songs and the fact that she didn't kiss any girl because it's a Christian sin--all those: points off, sir!
@pattycakes: giant dildos are sins, unless you're married and have attended a church sanctioned toy party which are thrown to prevent divorces which are also sins.
i wonder if said kissed girl was taylor swift, who was bored out of her mind wondering where her jonas boyfriend had gone...meanwhile he's getting busy in the bathroom with a fanboy, trying out the these goods he's shillin'. so she looked at kate and said what hell? you look my boyfriend when he's all dressed in drag, so why not?
and then she bought biggest, bestest, most expensive dildo of all and went home a happy girl indeed.
those crazy christians! thinking anal sex will preserve your virginity! (that's real btw, teens in NC think anal sex doesn't count as intercourse, thereby retaining virginal status)
04/11/09
04/10/09
04/10/09
1. There is an open bar with quality hard liquor being served.
2. Food is being served, offered by waiters. The food is not warmed-over Costco quiche.
3. There is a chance of nudity, sex in the bathrooms, or any other kind of outrageous behavior.
04/10/09
1. Make sure the kegs are spread evenly around the yard to prevent crowding.
2. Don't get cheap. Use Solo cups.
3. Invite your neighbors so they'll be cool with the noise.
4. Lock all breakables Mom and Dad's bedroom.
04/10/09
04/10/09
04/10/09
04/10/09
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04/10/09
better yet, what is touting up there, a giant dildo on which to ride off into the sunset?
04/10/09
04/10/09
i wonder if said kissed girl was taylor swift, who was bored out of her mind wondering where her jonas boyfriend had gone...meanwhile he's getting busy in the bathroom with a fanboy, trying out the these goods he's shillin'. so she looked at kate and said what hell? you look my boyfriend when he's all dressed in drag, so why not?
and then she bought biggest, bestest, most expensive dildo of all and went home a happy girl indeed.
those crazy christians! thinking anal sex will preserve your virginity! (that's real btw, teens in NC think anal sex doesn't count as intercourse, thereby retaining virginal status)
04/10/09
And *abstinence* will bring you a Christmas Baby and the termination of your mother's career in national politics.
04/10/09
[www.adrienfield.com]
04/10/09
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04/10/09
04/10/09
@edisdead: Who are you stranger?
04/10/09
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04/10/09
Also, I like her dress, and I have never ever said that about a sequined frock before.