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Posts Tagged “
Pets
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craigslist
Cuddly, Furry, Lovable, and Gay!
If you're looking for a couple of lovable pets, who happen to be gay, are you ever in luck! Those Salon writers who want gay sons will probably jump all over this so hurry up and save them from the hands of crazy people! Give these little gay furballs a home! [Craigslist]
monsters
Paris Hilton Pet Cruelty Prevented
Twisted animal-hating liar Paris Hilton has finally been stopped! OK, well, not entirely. A battle has been won, even as Hilton's war against pets rages on. The heiress is known to often abandon one or more of her two-dozen-ish pets, sometimes in a closet, to die, starving. And there are still idiots out there letting her adopt animals. But not everyone is an idiot! Hilton, you see, was recently on her way to a photo shoop and reportedly decided to pick up a Yorkie like it was a fucking latte. She "wanted a puppy in the picture so it would look cuter," a tipster told Page Six. And the valiant staff at the Puppy Store on Melrose Avenue in Los Angeles decided to stop Hilton from purchasing the animal because it seemed like an "impulse buy." The socialite lost her shit, but the store held its ground. Excellent, this is a great way to start a Tuesday. But LA animal services needs to step up its sad "investigation." [Post] (Photo via X17)
marketing
Only Spending Can Save Our Fat Dogs
American dogs, like American people, are turning into a bunch of dumpy, couch-ridden fatties. But the pharmaceutical industry is rushing to the rescue! Slentrol, a diet drug for dogs, recently launched a new ad campaign [NYS] to convince guilty dog owners that what their mutt needs is chemicals, not a stick thrown a long way, over and over. Furthermore, some stern doggie personal trainers are warning about the dangers of "the wrong kind of exercise"—specifically, "uncontrolled play." Give those dogs a structured exercise program and diet drugs at once, foolish yuppies! More »
Dogs Rule
Sunday Afternoon Kitty Post
"We love our cats… and they seem to love walking across our keyboards! You can’t blame them, they just want to be near us. With the Kit-In Box, cats have a place to rest that’s out of the way, but still an arm length’s away from a scratch on the belly. The Kit-In Box can attach to the side of a desk or be placed on top it. Felt pads protect the desk top. Cats are drawn to the soft cushion and the high walls, which are perfect for nesting. The Kit-In Box can support a 20 lbs cat and even small dogs!" [Ephemerist] Bigger pic after the jump. More »
mourning
We Are All Made Of Diamonds
If having your loved one cremated and poured into a jar that sits in your house isn't enough remembrance for you, LifeGem has a better idea: take those ashes, subject them to a huge amount of force, and create a diamond to wear around. You'll always know the gem was made from, as the company puts it, a very special "carbon source"—that means your loved one! You can even get them for your pets, which are also diamond-worthy carbon sources. Once your order is delivered, we imagine, you sing a creepy little song about "the diamond within you," and cackle maniacally. Strange business. As TNR points out, this would be an apt fate for Charlton "Soylent Green" Heston. Below, some of the company's gently persuasive sales pitch, which is somehow hair-raising. There's no right way to sell this product. More »
advertising
Please Buy This So Your Dog Doesn't Fall Again
Ha ha, what's the only thing more entertaining than watching regular dogs? Watching dogs who are kinda old and tend to fall down! Ohhhh, he can't quite get in that darned trunk! It's okay though—these dogs are going to be GETTING BETTER, thanks to Dr. Frank's Safe & Natural Joint Pain Relief For Pets, offered in this infomercial. There's plenty of testimonials, but the best part, honestly, is the falling dogs. And the pug so old that it has to ride in a basket. Click to the video to watch them stumble.
monsters
Paris Hilton Stashes Her Poor Pets Where Authorities Can't Find Them
Los Angeles Animal Services finally decided to investigate mounting evidence of Paris Hilton's cruelty to her bitches and pussies, but of course Paris whipped up a "serious construction" project at her house that conveniently allowed her to hustle her, like, 20 pets away to "animal handlers," so the sad pet detective was reduced to leaving a message with the maid. "Tell me exactly where your poor pets are having sex with each other and dying in closets or I shall be forced to come back and leave a second note, also I was one of the 10 people who saw your movie, loved it LOL kthanks," it probably read. After the jump, an October self-shot video showing Paris cuddling with a dog named Prince who she had not yet tired of. "He loves me," she said, and that is what is important: the attention the dog can give to her. More »
monsters
Pet Ownership May Prove to Be Paris Hilton's Chappaquiddick
As reported this morning, heiress Paris Hilton has lost her pussy due to neglect. Later in the day a tipster sent us a little item that we'd missed a few weeks back that paints an even darker portrait of Paris Hilton the Pet Owner. E! Online's Ted Casablancas, while not exactly Bob Woodward, did get quite a story on "Slurpa Pop-Off" (an affectionate nickname he's given to a blind item personality who is obviously Ms. Hilton). It seems that the "Hottie" has been, uh, well, killing her dogs. Oh but totally by accident! See she gets a new puppy, but then doesn't want to train it or whatever so she just leaves it in a closet and flits away somewhere. Days later, employees report, they'll find the dog still in the closet, dead. Beautiful. After the jump watch Paris tell Ellen DeGeneres that she owns 17 dogs (Previously on Defamer). Oop, probably 16 by now. [The Awful Truth] More »
lit boys
Has Bret Easton Ellis Tired Of His Latest Lit Boy Toy?
USA Today has anointed The Tourists author Jeff Hobbs' as the winner in the battle of 80s brat pack protégés, saying that his book is "more impressive and ambitious" than Dana Vachon's Mergers and Acquisitions. Um, sure! Maybe in the same way that Pirates of the Carribean: Curse of the Black Pearl was more impressive and ambitious than Fantastic Four: Rise of The Silver Surfer. Anyway, the rave (yes, the USA Today rave) has thrust Hobbs' literary hand-holder Bret Easton Ellis (as opposed, of course, to Vachon's #1 fan Jay McInerney) back into the spotlight. He didn't go to Hobbs' book party, after all. Has he abandoned his furtherance of Hobbs' career? More »
portfolio
Eventually All We Will Be Writing About Is 'Portfolio'
As you might have heard, Conde Nast's Portfolio launches today. The most important business magazine of its generation, Portfolio starts life with 185 ad pages in a 332-page issue. Cond chair Si Newhouse says the book was "inspired by a positive response to business articles in Vanity Fair and The New Yorker, although he could not recall precisely which ones." (We have the same problem!) Conde 's willing to dump around $125 million into making the mag a success, but some see the publication as a shot across Time Inc.'s bow. In any event, it's the little things that make the difference. Like the pillows in the "idea lab." More »
bloggers
Best In Show: Blog Pets Face Off. Meow!
"Omg, totes out of stuff to write about at myspecialopinion.blogspot.com today. Oh, hey, look, Fluffy is doing that thing where he puts his paw over his eyes. Awww! [Digital camera snap noise]" Sound familiar? It does to the bloggers listed after the jump, who are famous ("famous") for posting about their pets. At the risk of sounding like a total girl, we guess they're like adorable or whatever. But as you know, everything is a competition. So: these three fuzzy fluffballs of Kute will face off in a poll later on, once they've inspired some other bloggers to put their own animal companions' honor on the line. To be considered, though, the pet in question has to have been the subject of a lot of blog posts. And while costumes are obviously a plus, entrants who have a blog that's just about their pet will not be considered because of sheer patheticness. Also, please remember that we are just talking about the pets here and not the blogs. You can save your mean comments about which of the bloggers below you hate most when we're singling them out for, like, "whose mom has the worst cancer." More »
sunday styles
More Lessons From the Sunday 'Times': What to Drink When Your Dog's Missing
Oh, the things we've missed in the Sunday Times. It's not just showers and deodorant anymore; by not reading yesterday's Sunday Styles — we were on vacation; give us a break — we missed yet another important life lesson. It's a bit of wisdom from Pat Lillis, who, according to her frontpage style-section profile, is the Pet Detective of the Hamptons. (What, your hometown didn't have one of those? Hicks.) Young Vito Schnabel, son of artist Julian, provides our teachable moment: More »
gq
'GQ' Wants You to Look Sharp, Dog
Flipping idly through the current, Christina Aguilera issue of GQ and landing on, say, page 56 prompts a deep philosophical question. Is a lush, two-page spread on the stylish choices in dog collars ("If your dog is rough around the edges like this boxer, refine his look with stripes") a sign of overwhelming, late-Rome decadence? Or is it simply more proof that, yes, GQ is the gayest magazine in existence? More »
photos
Interestingly, Even the Dog Shit Gives Him Only a 31 Percent Approval Rating
A cameraphone-wielding reader sends a report from West 24th Street, between Ninth and Tenth avenues: "was having a particularly heinous day yesterday until a) i found a prime parking spot (on the wrong side of the street but whatever) and b) this was right by the curb.... it was so unexpected and delicious — made my day." More »
pets
Breaking: Baby Still Stuck in Well
Just in case you care — and God knows we certainly don't — that cat is still stuck in that wall, and what seems like every New York City press organization has a representative camped out on Hudson Street waiting for its triumphant reappearance. (Waiting for it to be risen?) As of a few minutes ago, it hadn't. More »
britney spears
Remainders: The Miracle of Sean Preston's Birth, Yours to Own
• The art you've always wanted: A sculpture of Britney Spears giving birth. On a bearskin rug. And "the crowning of baby Sean's head." Where would you find such a thing? In Williamsburg, of course. [Send2Press]• This week's Times correction of the week: "An article in The Metro Section on March 8 profiled Donna Fenton, identifying her as a 37-year-old victim of Hurricane Katrina who had fled Biloxi, Miss., and who was frustrated in efforts to get federal aid as she and her children remained as emergency residents of a hotel in Queens. Yesterday, the New York police arrested Ms. Fenton, charging her with several counts of welfare fraud and grand larceny. Prosecutors in Brooklyn say she was not a Katrina victim, never lived in Biloxi and had improperly received thousands of dollars in government aid." People are so nit-picky these days. [NYT]
• AC 360 finds a new scourge to campaign against: The evil practice of puppy smuggling. [CNN]
• There are dates that end well and dates that end less well. And then there are dates the end in night court. Even worse, without Judge Harry T. Stone. Yikes. [CourtTV]
• Is this for real? Who knows. But it would seem that Mobile, Ala., residents found themselves a leprechaun on St. Patrick's Day, according to the local NBC affiliate. [YouTube]
