Disclaimer: This theory is posited by Neill's own lawyer, and is probably false. That said! The New York Post has the attorney's intricate legal reasoning:

Hillgardner argued that case law protects mere nude physical activity — like calisthenics and ball-playing — from lewdness charges.

So because Neill was kind of writhing around in a "I look like I'm on so much PCP but actually I'm an artistic nudie model" way, it was protected! Also the lawyer says that the only things ladies cannot legally do topless are sunbathing and "handing out promotional material," so, ladies? Everybody's into art again.
[Pic via]

We've contacted Kerik's attorney to verify the authenticity of the page, but no matter who set it up or why, there's no doubt that it features a lot of photos of Kerik, his dog, his wife, his children, and his grandchildren. Also of Caroline Manzo, of Real Housewives of New Jersey fame, who famously declared of her family, "We are not The Sopranos!"

Though the profile page says the account was created in June 2008, most of the 374 photos in the "Pro" (i.e. paid) account were uploaded in one big batch on September 18, 2009, with another round going up on October 8, less than two weeks before Kerik was jailed by a federal judge for leaking confidential information about his case to a reporter. We imagine that as Kerik geared up for a highly public trial, his team thought it might be a good idea to get photos of him as a family man, dedicated cop, and anti-terrorism official out there. Here's a selection of our favorites, but we highly recommend you check it out for a glimpse of Kerik through the decades. Especially the Seventies. The Seventies look awesome.

CLARIFICATION: Some commenters think Kerik is doing a taekwondo, not karate, move in that photo. We have no idea, so we settled for "martial arts."

[Via Cryptome.]

Kerik's 1993 detective photo.

Kerik's wife, Hala, with Real Housewife of New Jersey Caroline Manza: "Let me tell you something about my family, we're as thick as thieves. And we protect each other to the end."

Kerik, in an undated photo, escorting Weather Underground radical Susan Rosenberg.

With NYPD Midtown South Anti-Crime Unit.

In Harlem, 1989.

On patrol in Korea, 1975.

With NYPD Harbor Unit.

Kerik's dog's playing on the beach in Aqaba, Jordan.

SWAT training.

With his youngest daughter Angelina.

Kerik's son Joe with Caroline Manzo's son Albie.

We asked for attendees of yesterday's nuptials to send us their own pics when we saw the New York Post's exclusive wedding portrait this morning. After we saw the photos pop up on the websites for People, Star and PopSugar, we started making calls to find out how they got the pics, too.

A phone chain commenced. First their wedding photographer Fred Marcus Photography wouldn't tell us anything beyond "No comment." Then Steve Rubenstein (who reps both Jared and the Post) told us to call Ivanka's rep Rona Graf who told us the wedding pics are free handouts and to call Getty, which is distributing the photos. Getty, though, said that we had to promise to only use the photos for a "positive story." (That is how you get headlines like People's "FIRST PHOTO: 'Beautiful and Smart' Ivanka Trump & Jared Kushner.") This, Getty said, was on orders of a P.R. representing the couple (they wouldn't say who exactly) and since Gawker doesn't make ludicrous pledges, you'll have to go elsewhere to get your Kushner-Trump nuptial photographic fix.

So, we're starting a Gawker Contest*: We're offering $150 to the best Photoshop job on any of their handout wedding photos. Also, we'll pay the same prize to the person that sends us the best wedding photo that hasn't been released yet. Put your entries in the comments, or email us. The entire KushnerTrump clan anxiously awaits your work.

*Standard contest rules apply.

Leibovitz's commercial day rate is $250,000, according to New York magazine. We certainly hope taxpayers didn't pay her that much to document for posterity the fundamental adorableness of the First Family. Perhaps the Obamas, or Obama's campaign arm, footed the bill. Or maybe Leibovitz performed her duties gratis. That would have been especially admirable, however, seeing as how this picture was taken on September 1, one week before Leibovitz's deadline to repay the $24 million loan she owed to high-end artsharks Art Capital Group or lose possession of her photographic legacy. That deadline was eventually extended, but there must have been a lot on Annie's mind when this photo was taken.

Darren Gold, the owner of Alpha Male, the store with the offending window, told Style Section L.A. [NSFW, unless you work in a boutique with a nude mannequin out front] that a member of Newton's estate approached the book's publisher, Taschen, about the tribute and wanted to have it taken down. Gold says he's not going to take it down, and we don't blame him. If the estate is making money off of a book with a nude cover, they better be willing to deal with the merkin mannequins it inspires.

Penn once said that "Photographing a cake can be art," and his portraits and still life raised the value of the objects in his work from the mundane into the magnificent. He was know for the extreme precision and realness of his photography, which managed to capture the eye and the imagination in an age well before Photoshop.

His most recent exhibit, Small Trades, a collection of more than 250 full-length portraits that he took in the '50s, is currently on display at the J. Paul Getty Museum in L.A.

The photo comes from a shoot Greenberg — whom Beck has lambasted as a liberal photo-agitator — did for a GQ story on Beck back in June, in which she made the emotionally unstable Mormon cry. Hey, as long as she makes him look good, right?

Here's the deeply unsettling behind-the-scenes video we obtained of a bawling Beck at that shoot, which we first published exclusively in June:

And now a tear-free shot from the same series is on newsstands around the country promoting Beck's pudgy mug. Which is funny because Beck berated Greenberg almost exactly one year ago for photoshopping her Atlantic portrait of John McCain to make him look like a vampire, and for "terrorizing" children in her infamous series of crying toddlers.

As for the Time story itself, it's a masterwork of equivalence journalism. You can literally feel reporter David Von Drehle's terror at being accused of "taking sides" in the "debate" about whether Beck—who didn't consent to an interview—is a populist hero or a paranoid spinner of conspiracy theories. It's a bizarre, claustrophobic world that Time reporters inhabit, one in which it is literally impossible for the subject of one's reporting to make an objectively untrue assertion. One false move, and Von Drehle might be forced to actually defend a proposition to thousands of outraged, irrational commenters. Better to equivocate.

So we get tortured sentences like these:

Between the liberal fantasies about Brownshirts at town halls and the conservative concoctions of brainwashed children goose-stepping to school, you'd think the Palm in Washington had been replaced with a Munich beer hall.

• Liberal fantasies? Men armed with assault rifles and pistols and wearing shirts calling for the "blood of tyrants" to be shed have attended Obama's public events. A woman shouted "Heil Hitler!" at an Israeli Jew defending Obama's proposals at one healthcare townhall. But on the other hand, the president of the United States told America's schoolchildren to do their homework.

He is afraid that Obama "has a deep-seated hatred for white people" - which doesn't mean, he hastens to add, that he actually thinks "Obama doesn't like white people."

• Here's what Beck actually said, which, thankfully, was actually recorded by a video camera, a device that creates a record of objective reality: "This president, I think, has exposed himself as a guy, over and over and over again, who has a deep-seated hatred for white people, or the white culture—I don't know what it is." [Emphasis added.] But on the other hand, Glenn Beck's characterization of his own thoughts at the moment that he expressed them ought not tell the whole story about what Glenn Beck thinks.

Like William Jennings Bryan whipping up populist Democrats over moneyed interests or the John Birch Society brooding over fluoride, Beck mines the timeless theme of the corrupt Them thwarting a virtuous Us.

• A Democratic populist once inveighed against actual, real wealthy people who wielded actual, real power over our political system. On the other hand, avowedly racist right-wing xenophobes once accused the U.S. government of undermining the Constitution by adding a common dentifrice to the water supply.

And so on. After discussing some of the truthful things that Beck has publicized, like Van Jones' trutherism, Von Drehle does another "on the other hand" pivot to examine just one of the many falsehoods Beck has promoted: "But he also spins yarns of less substance. He tells his viewers that Obama's volunteerism efforts are really an attempt to create a 'civilian national-security force that is just as strong, just as powerful as the military.'"

Von Drehle is correct in characterizing Beck's claims about Obama's attempts to create a civilian national-security force as having less substance than his claims about ACORN and Van Jones. Because they have no substance at all. They are lies. But saying that outright—as opposed to locating them on some mythical metric of truthfulness in which all claims seem to have some "substance"—would constitute an assertion about Beck's honesty and reliability. Time is clearly not the appropriate forum for such a conversation.

The terms weren't disclosed, but Leibovitz and Art Capital released a joint statement this afternoon saying "they have reached an agreement that provides a further restructuring of Ms. Leibovitz's finances and resolves pending legal matters between them."

Leibovitz owes Art Capital $24 million, and gave up her photo archive and homes in Rhinebeck, N.Y., and Greenwich Village as collateral. Art Capital sued her in July over her refusal to help them sell the archive so it could recoup the loan, which came due three days ago. We wrote earlier this week that Leibovitz's only options appeared to be bankruptcy are coming to terms, and that Art Capital CEO Ian Peck hates the uncertainty of bankruptcy.

It looks likes they chose to come to terms—an advance glimpse of which we may have heard yesterday, when a tipster spotted a woman in black business suit telling Leibovitz, "You may not like it, but you probably don't have a choice" on the street in Greenwich Village.

As part of the deal, Leibovitz "purchased from Art Capital its rights to act as exclusive agent in the sale of her real property and copyrights." Art Capital had secured that right when it loaned Leibovitz the money. Our question: What on earth did she purchase it with? She has no money! Our guess is that she promised to pay Art Capital a surcharge amounting to their lost commission on the sale if she could decide who to sell it to herself. Her refusal to help Art Capital sell it thus far, coupled with the fact that she clearly has no other option than that it be sold to someone, leads us to believe that she wanted to control the deal and decide how it was sold and to whom. And it looks like Art Capital is now OK with that, as long as it gets its money.

Here's the joint statement:

The patio, from which Madoff would toss pennies at innocent passersby below.

Ruth Madoff's home office. Only pure thoughts ever existed within these walls.

Ruth Madoff's personal bathroom. She probably peed in this shower.

This evil kitchen gave sustenance to Bernie Madoff.

Bernie Madoff bought a flat screen TV and exercycle for this bathroom just because he could.

The foyer and dining room. Yea, it's big.

A poster commemorating the time Bernie conned a fish out of $3.5 million.

The master bedroom. Canopy bed? What a dork.
[Pics: AP]

Hello [Hipster Photo Submitter],

My name is Joe Mande and I'm the author of the tumblr blog Look at This Fucking Hipster. I am writing you because I think the amazing picture(s) you recently submitted for the blog might actually be perfect for the Look at This Fucking Hipster Book, which I am currently writing for St. Martin's Press.

If you did not take the submitted picture, but instead found the photograph somewhere online, please disregard this email. But if you did indeed take the picture yourself, and want that picture to be considered for the LATFH book, would you please be so kind as to fill out this photo release form and send it back to me? You'll be playing your part in a very important movement.

I appreciate it. Thanks so much!

- Joe Mande

And then a release form. Two separate people who had their photos rejected because they weren't the original photographers have sent the photos to us, the bottom of the barrel-shaped internet. Here they are (top photo, taken from a Facebook page; bottom photo, a live specimen in San Diego). Hipsters! We too would like a book deal if at all possible.

This cab even blew up, for some reason. Thanks, D!

Oh, and here's some video that reader Andrew Sneider took for all you pyros:

Hyman went and got one of his nude models arrested yesterday in the Metropolitan Museum (enthralling blurry video of the crime at that link, btw). New York Post vagina beat journalist Justin Rocket Silverman got the explanation from the heroic security guard, who detained the stripping harlot model:

"There were little kids in here watching the whole thing."

Mmm hmm. And riddle us this: When Zach Hyman took nude hipster pixxx it was all fine and dandy, but as soon as he has socialite (we're just saying that because her photos appear on Guest of a Guest) model KC Neill strip at the Met, it's straight to jail. A bit of subculture favoritism? Well Zack Hyman takes nudes of all types of men and women all over, so don't blame him. Pigs.

[Pics: NBC New York, Zach Hyman]

A photographer named Zach Hyman likes to take nude photos of ladies in public, for art, and that's just what he did on the L train last month, causing a conniption amongst some of the more delicately constituted passengers, but this is what you come to New York for so just go back to Ohio why don't you? Also this is the L train. Take note.

"People see a naked woman and they smile," [Zach] said. "They see a penis and they freak out."

Lo, that we may live to see the day when New Yorkers are free to flash peen on the subway at any time without uptight losers "freaking out!"

This story brought to you, as always, by the NYP's Justin Rocket Silverman, vigilantly covering the vagina beat. With his hands, if necessary.

[Pic: Chair and the Maiden]