Who is Amanda Bynes? Every once in a while, she drives her car into the wall of our lives, to lock herself in our cupcake shop bathrooms; to stand, naked and dreaming, in our tanning salon lobbies. To prevent us from settling too comfortably into the rhythm of life. To remind us that she exists.

Elaine Davidson, the world's most pierced woman, got married yesterday in Edinburgh to Douglas Watson, a balding retired civil servant. God knows how this odd couple found each other, but isn't love grand? Let's take a closer look at her outfit.

Researchers attempting to survey men with genital piercings found that those who responded were overwhelmingly Caucasian (89%), heterosexual (82%) and middle-class (56% earn $45,000 yearly). Can you think of another group of mostly white, straight, middle-class men?

We have ascertained the location of 'Big Ben' Mills, who posted nude photos of an allegedly smack-addled Peaches Geldof. He is with his band, recovering from a performance where he inserted meathooks through his skin and dangled from the ceiling.