This isn't the first time we've heard rumblings about swine flu, but the CDC wants us on the alert about a new strain that spreads from pigs to people.

A group of feral pigs are plaguing upstate New York, ravaging crops and ground-nesting birds, breeding like crazy, and generally causing a gross ruckus all around.

Attention pig farmers! Thieves who may or may not be operating in "well-organized rings" have been stealing hundreds of pigs owned by your Minnesota and Iowa brethren—most likely to sell as emotional-support animals the pork chops and hams of the future. Your porcine pals could be next!

Good morning, you bacon-egg-and-cheese biscuit-eating motherfuckers. Here's a brand new video from the group Mercy For Animals, showing exactly where that bacon you love so much comes from.

A Washington State Patrol trooper yesterday shot and killed a 500-lb pig that had "escaped through a broken back passenger window" of a minivan. Trooper Morgan Mehaffey saw the pig running on a sidewalk in Spokane Valley, so he corralled it with his cruiser, Tasered the hell of it, then shot its ass dead.

Someone sent America's most Muslim-hating congressman, Rep. Peter King (R - N.Y.), a package containing a bloody pig's foot—accompanied by an anti-Semitic note exhorting King to "Kiss my black Muslim ass." Time to find the congressional gift declaration form!

Have you ever wondered how to call for a hog? Turns our there's a lot of different techniques and they're all pretty ridiculous.

Feral hogs in Texas are screwed. The heavily armed state within a state has declared October "Hog Out Month," and is encouraging people to kill the beasts for destroying farmland, as well as "yards, public parks and golf courses."

It's been a hard week, between the Koran-burning man, and the enormous explosion in California, and the accusations of war crimes. You deserve a massage and a cold drink. But more than that: You deserve a monkey riding a pig.

Straight out of Japan, here's your WTF—and BAWWWWW ZOMG SO CUTE!—video of the day. Inside, watch a baby monkey get a literal piggyback ride on some sort of furry Sasquatch reindeer-like pig creature thingy. Yay, animal videos!

Remember H1N1? It was like this new cancer or something. Apparently people were worried about it? Well, the thing is still out there, and cases are spiking in southern states. Oh well, not much we can do about it. [CNN]

The cops arrested someone for threatening Eric Cantor over the weekend, proving him right about everything. Here is the threatening man demanding that the film Babe be removed from video stores, because he is God, and Lucifer was a pig.

During Barney's quest to bed the ladies, he stumbled upon a sure-fire way to get girls to come back to his apartment: Teacup Pigs. We dare you not to squeal with delight at the sight of these miniature piggies.

And why yes, that is Carrie Underwood playing the girl who fell for the "Teacup Pig" ploy.

In a clear act of porcine aggression against our nation's geographers, the dreaded Mexican Pig Flu has struck the National Geographic Society. We have the memo.

The dreaded Mexican Pig Flu will be back. Oh yes. Of that, there is no question. A few months from now, you will wake up to hear daily Swine Flu Reports sandwiched between weather and traffic. Not a joke!

A world famous evolutionary biologist writing for America's most prestigious magazine can get away with calling New Guinea tribe members murderers and rapist. But do not accuse them of stealing pigs. Now it's on: