Some of these Microsoft people will go on to wearing durable cotton shirts with their names embroidered onto little oval patches to work within a year. Taking 80% pay cuts will just about allow them to move into a shit-hole apartment when their Hummer House or McMansion is foreclosed on.

In a slightly kinder, gentler world, Steve's notice would have read-

Pack your things and go home. We'll mail your severance package.

The good news is that fully eighty per cent of you will find work within a year, albeit at the average annual salary pay-cut of a fully loaded Ford Expedition.

But what if you're one of the 20%ers for whom this is pretty much the End of the Line? Are you obese or otherwise unfortunate-looking? Remember, even pretty people will have to take drastic pay-cuts just to find work. If you're a fat of fugly fuck, just go home and uncork a mellow merlot and turn on 'American Beauty'. Pause the movie right before Thora Birch shows off her improbably big titties to the weirdo auteur next-door. Go to the kitchen and get another bottle, reach behind the stove and twist off the gas feed. Resume your movie. Kevin Spacey will talk you home.

Love,

Steve

P.S. On a somewhat lighter note, you can keep your genuine Microsoft logo coffee cup.

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Maybe I'll go to Tahiti? Maybe to the movies? Maybe I want to go and protest in front of... something, or just go to the crack house. Or maybe I'm gonna go to the competitors with all the secrets I might have, or just start my own company. Why do these people assume their workers only have work and home?

"You are fired, so here is what you should do next: you should go home, sit on your couch and eat some ice cream. You can turn on the TV, and take a bathroom break." Yes, sir.

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