Confessions of a Shopaholic is out now, starring an imaginary magazine writer who's able to be, you know, a Shopaholic. This is not even remotely workable in reality any longer, no matter how you contort your imagination. Former Radar editor Willa Paskin points out what's become only too obvious to all of us boots on the ground: magazine work is not the path to upper class lifestyle. Make up another dream job for aspiring Queens of New York, Hollywood:

If Shopaholic and its ilk are short on the paltry pay, long on the stilettos, that's partially thanks to the fact that very few people have a clear idea of what an editor actually does all day (or what they get paid to do it). The title has become shorthand for a creative, fun, professional white-collar job that involves very few set tasks. Since the particulars of the profession are so little known, screenwriters are free to present magazine work (inaccurately, it sadly turns out) as the ultimate fantasy, which requires employees to attend fancy fetes and photo shoots, groom and gossip compulsively, date handsome men and spend zero time on e-mail.

In fact, the lifestyle elements most magazine workers currently have in common are layoffs, pay cuts, student loan debt, and overwork. Whee, the Big Apple! But really, it's nothing to feel bad about. The idea that you could come to the big city and live the life of an heiress while working in such a pedestrian field as the print media was mostly a pipe dream from day one; and for those who did manage to do it, it was a passing anomaly.

You know who's happy about all this? The actually rich.

The survey, which polled 108 private jet owners with a mean net worth $116 million, found that 94% of those surveyed defined luxury as "for oneself," rather than for the masses (2.8%). That marks a big change from last year, when 37% agreed that luxury should also be for the masses...

"What you're seeing is a shift to real elitism," says Russ Alan Prince, the president of Prince Assoc. "The rich like it better that everybody can't be part of the luxury boom anymore."

See you guys at Gray's Papaya tonight! Then maybe Netflix? [Daily Beast, WSJ]

Julia Allison
The aggressively self-promoting and increasingly famous dating blogger/life-liver could turn up as Rachel Alice, a pesky gossip writer from a trashy tab newspaper who wants to do a story on Lily and Bart Bass, but quickly discovers that the real story is, of course, the kids. Using her youthful looks to her advantage, she infiltrates to write a nasty story, seducing Chuck at the same time. Eventually, in a dramatic waterside scene, she is exposed and an angry Blair pushes her into the East River. 3 episodes

Leven Rambin
The soap actress, who has guested on Lipstick Jungle in the past, could play Lux Rivington, the queen bee of a rival school who must ally with Blair to fight a proposed merger of their two schools. She and Lux grow increasingly close until Lux tries to kiss her and Blair runs away. Highly embarrassed and never wanting to see Blair again, Lux grudgingly seduces a wealthy alum of her school who donates a ton more money, making the possible merger moot. 5 episodes

Hud Morgan
Hud, the fruitini-drinking master of slap fights, could guest as Chad Stanley, a surprisingly straight fashion writer who goes to interview Blair's mother Eleanor about her fashion line. He is probing and cruel when interviewing Eleanor. She is angry and defensive at first, then turned on. The two try to "be intimate" but Chad is unable to perform, leaving Eleanor with leverage to demand his article be written as an adoring puff piece. 1 episode

Kristian Laliberte
The gay PR queen could play Timmi Devereux, a gay Upper East Side guru who takes the recently outed Erik van der Woodsen by the, ahem, ears and shows him the scene. All-gay tea parties, drinks at the hippest Hell's Kitchen spots, and a Broadway opening night gala. At the party, Erik meets a young dancer played by Broadway hottie Nick Adams. They hit it off instantly, and Timmi, who's been harboring a crush on Erik, gets a little sad. But, in the end, he decides to let them go and trots off into the night. 2 episodes

Tinsley Mortimer
Our daffiest socialite could play a homeless woman who eats banana peels and falls down the stairs a lot. The rest of the series

Arden Wohl
Crazy "bohemian" socialite Arden could play Avia Wuhrer, an up-and-coming video artist whose parents own a gorgeous flat in a sketchy part of Bushwick (think upscale McKibbin). She meets Vanessa at a video show, and instantly has an eye for Dan. Dan is conflicted, as he has been dating Vanessa but finds Avia mysterious and sexy. Avia gets Dan drunk and they almost kiss on the L train platform, but suddenly Avia stumbles and gets hit by an oncoming train. Everyone learns a lesson about death and Dan returns sheepishly to Vanessa. 4 episodes

Emily Brill
The daughter of former media tycoon Steven Brill, Emily could play Kitty Bowdoin, a formerly chubby classmate of Blair and Serena's who returns to Constance Billard, having shed many pounds at a special school, ready for social stardom. Blair, of course, will have none of it and sets out on a campaign to get Kitty big again. We don't so much mind because Kitty is a manipulative harpy. Evil, food-centered machinations ensue and Blair wins when Kitty's dress bursts at a huge social event. Whiffs of Mean Girls abound, sure, but it's only for 2 episodes

Oh a blog can dream, can't we? Who else might be fun to see on the show? Who would they play?