If you live in Los Angeles and are a forgetful person, trips to the grocery store are about to get 100 percent more annoying.

Hooray! A black bear whose head was stuck inside a plastic jug for three long weeks was found roaming around the foothills of the Tennessee Smoky Mountains. Despite being down to half its normal weight, the bear is doing just fine.

What better way to commemorate the fact that the Canadian dollar has surpassed the value of the American greenback than to give it the high tech makeover it so, uh, richly deserves?

Botox Mom Kerry Campbell (who might not be "Kerry Campbell" at all, but a multi-named mystery chupacabra of indeterminate origin) has returned to The Sun, the publication where her insanity spree began, to apologize for shooting botulism into her 8-year-old daughter's face, then bragging about it on TV.

Inspired by his concern for the future of our planet, Akinori Ito of the Blest Corporation has invented something truly amazing and potentially game-changing for all of us: a machine that converts plastic garbage into oil. It's truly incredible.

Starting in June, some street vendors will be outfitted with credit-card machines as part of a trial program. "Kebabs" can now be added to the list of things you will go into debt over. [NYP; pic via Tom Lin's Flickr]

Hippie yupsters have always been like, "I don't use plastic water bottles cause their chemicals cause cancer," or whatever, and we just laugh at them, but it turns out those people are the ones with the best erections.

Some jokes, mainly recycled, about Gawker. A bit of context: Metafilter is a weblog community, which hates everything Gawker stands for. And I do hope they can pinpoint what Gawker stands for, because we haven't quite defined that yet. I'm sure I've heard this one before, but it still made me chuckle:
Q. How many…