Like an acoustic guitarist doing shaky Jack Johnson covers at a crowded happy hour, Ted Cruz prattled on about his ideas for America or some bullshit at the back of the room, while attendees at last night’s New York City GOP gala—who can barely hear each other in here, Jesus—just tried to have a good time with their…

In an act of political cowardice, the campaign of Bernie Sanders has suspended a young staffer named Simone Zimmerman, who was recently hired to coordinate the campaign’s outreach to Jewish communities, for criticizing Benjamin Netanyahu, the right-wing Prime Minister of Israel, in a year-old post on Facebook. The New…

“Fuck Verizon!”

The New York Observer, which was once a good newspaper, is endorsing the owner’s wife’s dad for president.

A “wake up,” for the unfamiliar, is a term used by soldiers and prisoners in the U.S. when discussing the remainder of their service or sentence. Or, per a user in this Yahoo! Answers thread: “It’s a way of counting how many more days there is left until something happens.”

Perpetually enraged sex columnist Andrea Peyser declares (Jewish) Bernie Sanders “Anti-Semitic,” and contrasts him with Ivanka Trump, who “has given birth to three Jewish children, delighting the tykes’ grandfather.” But is Hillary Clinton a slut? We anxiously await Andrea’s ruling.

Menards is an enormous, privately held home improvement chain owned by a union-hating Republican billionaire. They are now vying for the title of Most Extreme Corporate Overreaction to the 2016 election.

A recent poll found shocking levels of support(!) among business executives for progressive policies like raising the minimum wage and giving all employees steady, predictable schedules. Why does the Chamber of Commerce hate these policies, then?

Most people are lucky to land one prominent role as a TV villain, but Katrina Pierson has two: Not only does she appear on cable news almost every night defending the unhinged, hateful words of her boss Donald Trump, she’s also somehow a cast member of “Sisters in Law,” a reality TV show about lawyers, I think.

The media is very focused on the day-to-day minutiae and outrages of the presidential race, but it’s worth taking a step back to point out that the biggest outrage of all is looming in plain sight.

While standing on a golf course and wearing a ridiculous hat this week, former good college-level quarterback Tim Tebow told Fox News that the idea of running for office is “intriguing” to him.

Table tennis semipro and cannabis enthusiast Susan Sarandon is among the most prominent celebrity endorsers of Bernie Sanders, which makes her public statements matters of great import to political commentators, columnists, and assigning editors. Today, everyone is mad because she said she’d support Trump if Hillary…

While many media outlets cower in their luxury office towers, too scared to stand up for the Bill of Rights that built this great nation, we are unafraid to boldly proclaim: yes, unpredictable partisan crazies should carry deadly weapons on the floor of the Republican National Convention.

Republicans, you will be happy to know that the guy who is the sober alternative to Donald Trump is being advised on economic policy by the guy who helped lay the groundwork for most recent total collapse of the global economy.

In New York City, you find subcultures for every sexual persuasion, bars dedicated to every football team, and food from every nation on earth. Hell, you can even find a few hundred people who support Ted Cruz.

History regularly offers up events that turn out to be litmus tests for political courage, wisdom, and judgment. The last one was the Iraq War. The new one is the candidacy of Donald Trump.

Are you “Looking for America?” Have you checked underneath your shoes? Ah, here it is—inside of the Washington Post, of course.

If Hillary Clinton secures the Democratic nomination, who will be her vice president? I have no idea. Some people think: Tom Perez.