Well holy prize-winning cow: Minnesota Congresswoman and downgrade instigator Michele Bachmann did it, she won the GOP straw poll in Iowa. Time to fry up your butter stix and celebrate/beckon death's call!

Lady Gaga isn't launching a perfume, according to Coty, the company supposedly making her fragrance. Well, if she does decide to debut a scent, our readers have spoken: It should smell like penis sweat. At least the market research's done!

[Oops: Time magazine got one of its polls hacked, again, by the jokers over at the 4chan image boards. What can you say? Ask a dumb question, get a dumb answer. Link via Reddit]

Ruth Madoff is getting her passport back, so that she may—if she's smart—flee this country for an isolated life far, far away. Our poll of public sympathy for her did not come back with encouraging results:

For books, the winner of our poll was Michiko Kakutani of the New York Times, with 27% of the votes. (The New Yorker's James Wood came in a close second, with 23%.) For film, let's have a big round of applause for Anthony Lane, also of the New Yorker, with 63% of the votes. Congratulations, Michiko and Anthony! Your…