Gawker: poll

Pick the Best New York Tabloid Flyby Fronts

John Cook — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 10:48:48 EDT

New York's tabloids are in high dudgeon over yesterday's Air Force One flyby. Who got the best headline and front-page out of it?

New York Post
The headline is classic Post, but the photo doesn't look so scary.

Daily News
What? "How Dumb Was This!" is an e-mail subject line, not a tabloid headline. Also, it needs a question mark at the end. Like the Post pic, the photo doesn't really evoke the 9/11.

Newsday
Groanworthy pun, but Oh my God that plane is flying into that building!

Hillary Clinton Asks You to Pick Your Poison

John Cook — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 12:40:50 EDT

Hillary Clinton is holding a contest to sucker people into paying her debt to Mark Penn. You can choose a prize, including a not-creepy-at-all day with Bill Clinton. We ask, which is the most bearable?

Right now Clinton owes $2.3 million for making those 18 million cracks in the glass ceiling, which earned her the traditional ladies' job in the White House. Every dollar is owed to Mark Penn, the fat bald man who micro-polled her campaign into oblivion and just discovered blogs.

So she's holding a contest. For as little as $10, you can win one of the following prizes—which would you choose?

Spend a day with President Clinton in New York City
"A truly once in a lifetime chance: you and a guest will spend a day with President Clinton and a weekend of fun filled adventure in New York."
"A day with President Clinton" is sex slang for something, right?

Attend the American Idol season finale
"You and a guest will watch live as the American Idol judges make their final comments and decisions on this year's most anticipated season finale!"
Fox is still in the tank for Hillary.

Spend a weekend in Washington, D.C. with James Carville and Paul Begala
"We'll fly you to our nation's capital for a politically filled weekend to see the nation's capitol and spend time with James Carville and Paul Begala—two of this city's best political gurus."
Yes, your weekend will be "politically filled." Also, tediously filled, self-importantly filled, and hideously filled.

Take your pick, losers!

Bernie Madoff Is Your Most Loathsome Financial Villain

John Cook — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 14:06:43 EDT

You've disappointed us, but we shall abide by the will of the People: Bernard Madoff won our poll to identify the face of the New Depression with 29% of the vote.

Madoff, an easy symbol of a venal era we're all now paying for, got just under 1,000 votes. Architect of that era, Alan Greenspan, placed second with 692 votes and 21% of the total, despite a late surge after our attempt yesterday to place a thumb on the scale in his favor. Ace pilot/crappy fugitive Marcus Schrenker was the least blameworthy, according to you, with just 27 votes. Write-in candidates from commenters included Milton Friedman, Phil Gramm, Countrywide Financial's Angelo Mozilo, a former director general of the British SIS, and AIG's Joseph Cassano.

It would have been fun to powder our noses in the Alan Greenspan Memorial Water Closet. But our word is our bond, and we shall prepare a plaque bearing Madoff's name and affix it to the bathroom door here at Gawker HQ. Thanks for playing!

There's Still Time to Vote in Our Most Loathsome Poll!

John Cook — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 17:54:35 EDT

Bernie Madoff is leading our Most Loathsome Financial Villain poll, but there's still time for second-place Alan Greenspan to make a comeback. Go vote for your candidate!

Not to take sides, but before you go off and vote, you may want to watch this video of Greenspan smarmily defending his record. Sure, Madoff is the easy pick, but as we mentioned earlier, cheap outrage will get you nowhere. Madoff was a petty opportunist compared to Greenspan's systematic crimes. He inflated our economy with easy credit in a bid to cement his reputation as a fearsome, if inscrutable, financial genius. His hollow and callow excuses after the bubble burst merit at least a memorial plaque outside a Gawker toilet.

Pick the Most Loathsome Financial Villain

John Cook — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 15:59:07 EDT

The New Depression rolls on and those overpaid AIG failures are this week's target for populist wrath. But do you hate them more than last week's villains? Embrace your hate and vote in our poll.

Vote for the scoundrel who most exemplifies the venal, self-interested, scheming, dastardly behavior that emptied out your 401k, and we will dedicate one of the three water closets at Gawker HQ to the winner and affix to the door a memorial plaque bearing his name. We'll name the Most Loathsome at noon on Friday.

Bernard Madoff
The Pope of Ponzi schemes bilked gullible investors out of $64 billion in a byzantine scam involving forged profit statements, fake trades, and a complicit auditor. The biggest fraud in the history of Wall Street.

AIG's James Haas, Douglas Poling, Jonathan Liebergall, and John Does 1 through 71
These AIG executives destroyed AIG with credit-default swaps and incompetence. We paid $170 billion for their sins; they each got $1 million-plus bonuses.

Sir Allen Stanford
The Texan billionaire and Antiguan knight has yet to be charged with a crime, but is accused of running a billion-dollar fraud through his Stanford Financial Group, which is under investigation by the FBI and SEC. Also, like Timothy Geithner, he doesn't pay his taxes, and owes the government $227 million, according to the IRS.

John Thain
The Merrill Lynch chief ran his brokerage into the ground while redecorating his office to the tune of $1.2 million with $35,000 commodes, and is under criminal investigation for allegedly rushing out $4 billion in bonuses to Merrill Lynch executives before Bank of America bought the firm and found out that it was worthless.

Jimmy Cayne
The Bear Stearns chief was busy getting high, playing bridge, and golfing while his firm went under and had to be sold to JPMorgan Chase in a Fed-brokered fire sale. The Bear Stearns collapse launched the Panic of '08.

Jim Cramer
What an asshole! He grinned and grimaced and shouted and rang bells and pressed buttons and now no one has any money, and all he had to do was go on the Daily Show and act catatonic for about 20 minutes.

Dick and Kathleen Fuld
The arrogant Lehman Bros. CEO passed up multiple chances to sell the company he destroyed, engaging Treasury Secretary Hank Pauson in a catastrophic game of chicken that ended in Lehman's bankruptcy. He reportedly got his clock cleaned by an employee when he used the company gym on the weekend after the bankruptcy, but he denies it. He recently sold his $13 million Florida estate to his wife Kathleen in an attempt to shield it from creditors. Kathleen, at least, has a healthy enough sense of shame to ask for a plain paper bag when shopping at Hermes, which she did last Christmas.

Timothy Geithner
Do something!

Hank Paulson
The erratic and unstable former Treasury Secretary calmly let Lehman go belly up, promptly announced to Congress that hell would rise up and swallow America if he didn't get $700 billion to spend on troubled assets, and then decided not to do the whole troubled asset thing and just give it to some banks. All yours, President Obama!

Alan Greenspan
He staked the future of the nation on the rantings of an insane lady who wrote dirty novels, and assured us that low interest rates and endless streams of credit would—and he scientifically proved this!—never, ever end up biting us in the ass. Then he apologized.

Marcus Schrenker
The Indiana financial consultant was accused of fraud, so he stashed a red motorcycle in a storage unit in Birmingham, Alabama, flew his private turboprop plane from Indiana to the skies over Alabama, parachuted out, injuring himself and leaving the plane to crash 200 yards from a residential neighborhood, sought out local residents for help by claiming to have been in a canoeing accident, and hid in a pup tent in a Florida campground until authorities found him after a three-day manhunt.

Robert Rubin
The architect of Clinton's economic policy made sure that complex derivatives remained unregulated and that the Glass-Steagall act was repealed, which allowed banks like Citigroup to do whatever they pleased, so that when Rubin left the government and joined Citigroup as an "adviser" Citi shareholders could lose all of their money.

Herb and Marion Sandler
The couple founded Golden West, a mortgage lender that gave enormous mortgages to unemployed grifters. The grifters didn't make their payments, but that's OK because the Sandlers sold Golden West to Wachovia for $24 billion in 2006, before anybody figured out what they were up to. Saturday Night Live threatened to kill them on the air, but then censored themselves when the Sandlers got to them.

So there you have them. Vote for the worst of the worst. Harboring particular hate for someone we left off? We'll consider write-ins from the comments.

No One Follows the News

Gabriel Snyder — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 15:13:03 EDT

Most shocking finding in this poll? 76% of Americans have no opinion of Bernie Madoff.

Do the Obamas Get a Class-Resentment Pass for Their White House Soirées?

Pareene — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 16:06:04 EST

The Obamas are just like us: drinking through this recession, at home! Well, not entirely like us. They're all wearing fancy clothes and they have jobs and Steve Wonder is there.

The Obama want to restore the idea of The White House as The People's House so they're hosting weekly black-tie cocktail partiesin the historic East Room for governors, lawmakers, and Stevie Wonder.

The governors' dinner was "a great kickoff of what we hope will be an atmosphere here in the White House that is welcoming and that reminds everybody that this is the people's house," Obama told the state chief executives after they had dined on Maryland crab, Wagyu beef, Nantucket scallops and citrus salad.

And then Earth, Wind and Fire played and the assembled VIPs formed a Conga Line.

Drudge's headline on this story about how the Obamas are inviting legislators over to flatter them into supporting their policies is headlined "DANCING THE RECESSION AWAY: CONGA LINES, PARTIES, COCKTAILS AT OBAMA WHITE HOUSE...." You know, they're drinkin' and dancin' and partying while we all starve, right? Ha ha patently ridiculous! But, of course, APPEARANCES DO MATTER, so maybe they shouldn't party every Wednesday? 'Cause they're one Michelle Obama couture dress price scandal away from the populist outrage visited upon John Thain and his commode on legs (the purchase of which was supervised by Obama White House decorator-designate Michael Smith!).

We do so like to see the glamorous people enjoying themselves during down times, but the Obamas are not exactly Clark Gable and Claudette Colbert.

So let's have a poll to decide what we think!

Rahm Emanuel Is Your New Obama Hottie

Owen Thomas — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 01:59:09 EST

Amazing what people fetishize these days: Gray hair, dark circles under the eyes, average-at-best height, a missing middle finger? Rahm Emanuel, Obama's chief of staff, beat conventionally gorgeous policy advisor Melody Barnes in our poll.

There will likely be charges of voter fraud. Unthinkably, we omitted Barnes from the initial lineup, until commenter superannuated_grad_student pointed out our error, and shared a delicious photo from Washingtonian. So we're granting her the title of Top Obama Hottie (Female) and Emanuel the title of Top Obama Hottie (Male). The runner-ups by gender: fratty speechwriter Jon Favreau and stunning foreign-policy advisor Mona Sutphen.

There will be more Obama Hotties to come; the president appoints approximately 5,500 positions. One hopes at least a few of them will challenge Emanual and Barnes in hotness.

Were other injustices done? Review the winners and file your complaints with the elections committee here.

(Photo fo Emanuel via Don't Be Chi; photo of Barnes by Matthew Worden/Washingtonian)

Hotness of Obama Staff at Issue for Undecided Voters

Owen Thomas — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 17:17:10 EST

Have you picked the hottest Obama staffer yet? With their boss sworn in, the aura of sexy power has only grown sexier.

Almost tied for the lead: Rahm Emanuel and Melody Barnes. There are less than 7 hours before the polls close. Vote now!

New, more appropriate image reflecting Rahm's lead via Bus Your Own Tray

What Did You Think of Obama's Speech?

Owen Thomas — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 12:26:47 EST

Barack Obama has given your speech. Now have your say: How did his words strike you?

(Photo by AP)

Pick Your Favorite Obama Hottie

Owen Thomas — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 19:15:24 EST

Tina Brown writes that the incoming Obama administration promises a restoration of intellectualism to the center of American life. In honor of her thesis, we present the official Obama Hotties poll.

Your contestants:

Melody Barnes, domestic policy council director, is not only attractive but was also Ted Kennedy's lawyer, so you know she's good. (OK, technically, she was his chief counsel at the Senate Judiciary Committee for eight years.)
Tim Geithner, Treasury Secretary-designate, who is far too handsome to worry about his tax problems.

Deputy chief of staff Mona Sutphen has an exotic foreign-service background. Diplomat = sexy!

Reggie Love, Obama's personal assistant of hotness.

Susan Rice, future ambassador to the United Nations, will restore America's image — and our faith in the power of metallic colors.
Jon Favreau, the speechwriter who makes every college coed say "Yes, we can".

Desirée Rogers, a social secretary on everyone's calendar.

Peter Orszag, the budget master who's going to have to protect more than just his pockets.

Ellen Moran, the communications director who's a dead ringer for Dana Scully from the X Files.

Rahm "Rahmbo" Emanuel, and really, do we need to say more than "chief of staff" here?

Eugene Kang, 24, is special assistant to the president. Sure, he looks like kinda dorky, but he mounted a near-successful campaign for Ann Arbor city council.

Pulitzer-winning Harvard professor Samantha Power is an advisor to Obama — and married fellow staffer Cass Sunstein, 16 years her senior, in July.

Eric Holder, Obama's attorney-general designate, looks like he can deliver more than justice. Okay, he's a lawyer, but don't hold that against him.

Patrick Gaspard, the new White House political director, favors fall colors — election season!

Now vote! The polls are open through the end of Barack Obama's first day in office. Write-ins are allowed in the poll or in the comments.

(Photos by Nadav Kander/New York Times)

Gawker's Golden Globe Poll

Gabriel Snyder — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 10:53:02 EST

The Golden Globes will be decided by 83 well-fed junketeers of the HFPA who are idiots. So, why not vote in the Gawker Golden Globe Poll before you start throwing things at your TV?

The Gawker Exit Poll

Gabriel Snyder — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 16:33:33 EST

For once, the exit polling consortium seems to have kept a pretty tight lid on the exit poll numbers (so far!) that first raised and then dashed the hopes of so many John Kerry voters in 2004. But there's no reason that your vote can't be counted in an entirely unreliable tally. Below, tell us how you voted today, and be sure to come back at 7pm for our liveblog and coverage of the election results.

The First Presidential Debate

Nick Denton — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 23:01:33 EDT

The talking-head consensus seems to be that John McCain showed authority as the debate turned to foreign policy. But Barack Obama "held his own." I reckon the Democratic candidate—intent on demonstrating his foreign policy knowledge and dropping names of hard-to-pronounce foreign leaders— missed several opportunities to turn the discussion back to the domestic economy and score. When McCain waxed lyrical about the great social and economic progress in Iraq, Obama could have asked him: what about social and economic progress back home? John McCain sounded sometimes as if he were running for president of Iraq, not the United States. A bolder opponent would have exposed that vulnerability. But enough of what I think. What about you?

The Suspension Of John McCain's Campaign

Nick Denton — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 18:28:06 EDT

McCain campaign manager Steve Schmidt is a risk taker and a brilliant manipulator of the news cycle. The Rove acolyte's two biggest gambles—a delay in the Republican Convention in deference to an approaching hurricane and the selection of camera-magnet Sarah Palin as running mate—both distracted the media and the public from John McCain's weaknesses as a presidential candidate. One can assume he's behind the "suspension" of the Republican nominee's campaign. Will it allow McCain to skip an otherwise dangerous debate this Friday night while claiming he's putting country first? Here's an instant poll. Suspend your political bias but not your judgment.

How do you feel about Facebook's redesign?

Nicholas Carlson — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 15:40:00 EDT

Facebook users are on a forced march to the "New Facebook" redesign starting today. I IM'd a friend of mine who doesn't work in tech to see what he thinks. His answer: "The single webpage was much cooler. Now with these tabs and all, it's harder to find things." Clearly, my pal's not on board with CEO Mark Zuckerberg's plan to turn Facebook into a "social operating system" — and to be an "operating system," you need dropdown menus and tabs and other whizbang features. (Let me beat all the engineers to the punch — no, Facebook is nothing like an actual OS. If it were like an actual OS, it would crash more.) Zuckerberg's grandiose ambitions aside, I like the new design because it makes sharing video, photos and messages with my friends that much easier. Also, it hides annoying widgets. I figure that people are whining about it because nobody likes change. But that's just one man's opinion. Take our poll below and let Zuckerberg know how you feel.

Who should play Zuckerberg in a Facebook movie?

Nicholas Carlson — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 21:00:00 EDT

"West Wing" creator Aaron Sorkin is still in the research phase of his Facebook: The Movie project, but we thought Valleywag's readers could help cast the lead role. Take your pick from our list, below.

(Photos by AP and Getty)

Lock In Your Vote for Hottest Guy in Book Publishing

Sheila — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 12:01:27 EDT

We're still taking votes for our Hottest Man in Book Publishing poll. The winner will get to pose for a classy-not-trashy glamorshot (if he consents.) The two top vote-getters at the moment? Here they are, girls: Matt, on the left, is a trade sales coordinator at Penguin. Nathan in the orange shirt is a San Francisco literary agent. But there are eight other eligible contestants! The only cure for the ills of democracy is more democracy, or whatever. [Vote here!]

Vote for the Hottest Guy of Book Publishing 2008

Sheila — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 16:06:21 EDT

Back this summer by popular demand, we've got ten straight book-publishing gentlemen lined up for you to vote on! The winner will receive the "Gawker Hottest Straight Guy of Book Publishing 2008" title for an entire year. (Last year's winner? Luke Janklow!) If the winner consents, we'll take a classy glamorshot of him for his winning post. After the jump, we've got little bios for our book publishing boys. Vote!

[Photo of David Shoemaker by Andy Heidel of Galleycat]

Finding the worst-entry level job in tech: Round Two

Nicholas Carlson — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 20:00:00 EDT

We're on to Round Two in our worst-tech-job contest. We've whittled down 10 terrible gigs down to five:

Follow the link for each job to see a picture of their locations, a list of key responsibilities, first hand accounts of why each job is so bad and how much they pay. Then, come back here and vote, below.

(Photo of Arrington and Scoble by Brian Caldwell)