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O'Reilly Viewers Settle Media Bias Question, Once and For All
Suck it, NPR! If anyone listened to you they'd surely have voted you most biased. Against not being boring! BAM. [Via Fark]
slurs
Polls
Vote For The New White Racial Slur!
Yesterday we asked for new and improved racial slurs for 'white people,' and we got more than 350 comments in response. We've narrowed the list down to the top ten. We want a real, usable slur, so we've focused on pithy, easy-to-shout ideas. Now we're turning it over to you, our racist readers. Please keep in mind the gravity of your task; the very racial equality of our nation depends on the equality of its slurs. After the jump, vote for your choice in our poll. Choose well! More »
generational warfare
Pollster Declares End of Boomerism, Rise of the Machines
Pollster John Zogby is rarely wrong about anything, ever (except of course the 2004 election and the 2008 New Hampshire and California primaries, all of which he got 100% wrong), so we're forced to accept the claims in his most recent email blast as fait accompli. "Clinton's Defeat," it announces: "The End of Boomerism As We Know It." See, the baby-boomers are liberals who love social justice but they are also dangerously self-centered and egotistical, and also trapped in permanent adolescence. Thankfully, due to the disasters that are George W. Bush and the Clinton family, the biggest generation in American history will only get two presidents. Ha ha ha. As we said, Zogby is never wrong! Ignore Zogby at your peril! Zogby is good! Read more of his analysis below! More »
polls
Which Is The Most Pathetic Celebrity Excuse?
Ohh poor beleaguered celebrities. When caught drug-handed or with pants down, they often have to make very public excuses for their un-role modely behavior. The latest came from former child star Tatum O'Neal, who was arrested for trying to buy crack in New York on Sunday night. She says she was sober, but had been chasing the dragon around the streets of New Amsterdam because she was distraught over the death of her dog. She claims she didn't know she was buying crack, and yet was in possession of a crack pipe. Oh, Tatum. A little darling no more. Also, lie better. There are other wonderfully silly celebrity excuses (including another one involving a dog!) waiting for you after the jump. Tell us which one you think is the worst. More »
lady business
Shocking Statistics: Mostly Women Plan to See Sex and the City
Friends, we are just four short days away from the Sex and the City movie. The most important film ever shot in New York (and the most important film about women, ever) is getting huge buzz and, as it turns out, advance ticket sales. Fandango, the largest of the online-ticketing sites (think: annoying paper bag pre-movie ads) says that 94% of polled ticket buyers are ladies, and that 67% of pre-orderers are planning to go in a large group. My Chinatown bus straw poll yielded the same results: this gawker overheard a woman loudly talking on her cell phone saying that "I want it to be a whole night, we'll go to the movie, then get apple martinis. You, me, Jeannie, Donna, Tina. All the girls. Apple martinis, yeah. A whole Sex and the City theme." (She then yapped for an hour more about God knows what). Like The Devil Wears Prada before it, the SATC movie could prove that movies with a near-exclusive female audience can still be box office hits. For the few non-gay men in the audience it's a good thing that Miranda inexplicably shoots two handguns at once and then Samantha blows up about halfway through. [AP]
the fifth borough
Mysterious Island Off Coast of New York Slighted
Oh, dear. Time Out Kids is having a little poll about Real Estate. No one can afford to live anywhere in New York anymore, so they're asking where their readers would deign to move themselves should it become necessary to get more space for less money. It's early still, but the results already speak for themselves. Poor other borough. [TimeOut]
polls
And the Stripster We Want To Hit It With the Most Is....
The results of our poll are in. And the winner is... Taylor! Congratulations, man. (Joshua, you were a close second.) If any of the contestants have a problem with the results of this poll—get in touch. We may just be willing to work something out with you. [Photo by Brad Walsh for Junk Mag]
polls
Which Stripster Dude Would You Hit It With?
Hello! It's not fair that girls are the only ones photographically exploited on this website on a daily basis. Luckily, there's a whole herd of guys, from Junk Mag's photographer Brad Walsh, lined up and ready to take their clothes off. Stripsters? Whatever you want to call them! So we're going to vote on the cutest! Here's how voting works: photos are technically SFW. Also: it doesn't matter if they're your type or not. Just pick one. Pretend they're the last men on earth, if skinny tattooed dudes aren't your type. Pretend it's 3 a.m. and you're at Duff's. More »
polls
Is 30 Rock Starting to Suck?
As reported earlier, some USAToday windbag thinks 30 Rock is flailing. Now, I find the show to be the funniest thing ever made and thought the last few episodes were wonderful. So, clearly I disagree. But some of you don't! In fact, this morning we received a crazed, homo-hating Tips email defending the USAToday article. First off, the emailer thinks that our commenters are all "gay." (Which is not true. Just Conbon is.) Well, more specifically he thinks you are all "gay urban liberal art school grad white people." So, OK. He's not entirely off base, but still! Jerk! After the jump, you can read the entire peculiar missive, as well as participate in an important poll: Does 30 Rock now suck? More »
polls
Which Is The Worst PR Pitch Of The Week?
We get all types of PR pitches around here, and, as you might imagine, many of them suck. So we're going to list the three worst ones we've gotten so far this week, and ask for your considered judgment on which is the worst of all. The winner may be specially ridiculed in a future post! Our three entrants: The aforementioned New York Dance Parade pitch, urging us to publish a story on "socialdancing" lest we lose our job; a pitch for Time Out New York's sex issue, which opened with "Feeling hot and bothered? So are we, and we've got the boners to prove it," and touted its "interactive pole, I mean poll"; or a pitch from the Brooklyn Paper promising "Breaking News," reading "Here we go, folks — a hot one (with video!). Enjoy." Which was, disappointingly, for this inane video of two dudes sitting in an office discussing marginal news. Don't overpromise! Cast your vote below: More »
judgment
John Travolta: Biggest Environmental Hypocrite
According to the results of our poll yesterday, you, our angry readers, believe John Travolta is a worse environmental hypocrite than any other celebrity! This one was a runaway. Travolta got 48% of the vote, crushing second-place hypocrite(s) Brangelina, who only got 18%. Barbra Streisand (17%) was a close third, followed by Madonna (11%), Chris Martin (5%), and Leonardo Dicaprio, who you guys must really have a crush on, at just 2%. From the comments, it appears that Travolta's whole "owning five personal planes and having a runway in my yard" thing really pushed him over the top. A wise choice. [Previously. Results rounded to nearest percentage point.]
polls
Which Celebrity Is The Biggest Environmental Hypocrite?
Celebrities: a bunch of hypocrites! They all pay lip service to environmental issues like global warming. But most of them are heavy private jet users. They also engage in a smorgasboard of other environmental sins, from investing in oil companies (Madonna) to wasting water by demanding 120 bath towels at each appearance (Barbra Streisand) to various other transgressions you can read about here. But it's primarily the globetrotting use of gas-guzzling private planes that make their frequent entreaties to save the earth seem empty. So we're polling you, our readers, who have some of the most finely tuned hypocrisy detectors in the world: Which of these six "green" stars is the biggest environmental hypocrite? Cast your vote after the jump. More »
thus damning america
Can This American Idol Be Saved?
Paulagate continues at American Idol, and the LA Times reports today that their readers, for what it's worth, want ol' mishmash mouth off the show. Ever since she fucked up and criticized a performance that, erm, hadn't actually happened yet, people have wanted blood. This comes on the heels of news that the show is looking to change some things around due to slumping ratings. So what's a Nigel Lythgoe to do? Can Lady Gobbledygook? Get a new Ryan? Air the audition rounds as flashbacks? How can Idol be saved??? Take an important poll after the jump. More »
polls
'Today Show' Polls Important Walter Sobchak Demo
Wondering what will happen in tomorrow's Pennsylvania primary? You could look to national trends or polls of likely Pennsylvania voters. Or you could make like NBC and only poll the important voters of Pennsylvania: gun-owners, bowlers, and, yes, beer-drinkers. Nothing proves that you understand the working class like reinforcing a cartoon stereotype of blue-collar life! Of course the bowlers and gun-owners don't care for Obama. The beer-drinkers, though, are split. They should've specified domestic beer-drinkers, we're sure the Obama votes are coming from import snobs. Guzzling Kölsch and eating caviar! Elitists!
polls
Last week (or a century ago), Barack Obama got in a bunch of trouble for making a "gaffe", which is a inside joke/cliche word political journalists use when a candidate accidentally (and inelegantly) says something he or she actually believes, and then the journalists beat up on the candidate for a month or so over it. His gaffe was that he said white blue-collar people seek solace in cultural identifiers like religion and guns when the economy fails them. Regardless of whether you find that to be a condescending notion, it seems harder to argue with his statement that these voters are "bitter," because everyone in America is "bitter" these days. Still, it became known as "bittergate," and it topped the headlines last week just as Hillary's snipergate did the week before. Obama is an elitist, we were told, over and over and over again. Elitist! And latte-sipping! Someone (Dowd?) probably called him "effete," too. After a full week of hammering this point home, that Obama is elitist, Hillary pulled ahead of Obama in the national polls for the first time in months, finally. She pulled ahead one point, on Saturday. And on Sunday, Obama was back ahead by 2. Pennsylvania's primaries are tomorrow (FINALLY THANK JESUS) but they won't solve this horrible horrible mess.
More »
Bittergate's Toll
Last week (or a century ago), Barack Obama got in a bunch of trouble for making a "gaffe", which is a inside joke/cliche word political journalists use when a candidate accidentally (and inelegantly) says something he or she actually believes, and then the journalists beat up on the candidate for a month or so over it. His gaffe was that he said white blue-collar people seek solace in cultural identifiers like religion and guns when the economy fails them. Regardless of whether you find that to be a condescending notion, it seems harder to argue with his statement that these voters are "bitter," because everyone in America is "bitter" these days. Still, it became known as "bittergate," and it topped the headlines last week just as Hillary's snipergate did the week before. Obama is an elitist, we were told, over and over and over again. Elitist! And latte-sipping! Someone (Dowd?) probably called him "effete," too. After a full week of hammering this point home, that Obama is elitist, Hillary pulled ahead of Obama in the national polls for the first time in months, finally. She pulled ahead one point, on Saturday. And on Sunday, Obama was back ahead by 2. Pennsylvania's primaries are tomorrow (FINALLY THANK JESUS) but they won't solve this horrible horrible mess.
More »
stupid polls
Who Will Die Because of the Sex and the City Movie?
Huffington Post and IAC project 23/6 is running a poll, asking readers to vote for who they think should die in the upcoming Sex and the City movie. That's right! Someone dies! Now, don't get me wrong, their poll is fun. But the "should" aspect bothers me a bit. I'm more concerned with who will die as a result of the Sex and the City movie. Answer a mortifyingly stupid poll after the jump. More »
Pretty Drunk Girls
An online poll declares that Rose Bar, at the Gramercy Park Hotel, has the most attractive female clientele of any bar in New York City. The runner-up bar, Beatrice Inn, immediately burst into tears and became anorexic. [DBTH]
