This week, Pope Francis said “the great majority” of modern Catholic marriages were religiously invalid due to an insufficient understanding of commitment, successfully making mad dudes very mad.

At the invitation of none other than Cool Pope Francis himself, Bernie Sanders will be taking a trip to the to speak at the Vatican just four days before the New York primary.

This is all part of a journey, said the Pope on Twitter, inviting the slack-jawed and glaze-eyed masses to follow him, simply with a heart-shaped “fave.”

Cool Pope “Francis” (a rap name), a Catholic man that religious people must pretend to respect, continues his irksome habit of making public statements that do not comport with the official positions of Republican presidential candidates.

On Sunday, Pope Francis celebrated Mass in Ecatepec, north of Mexico City, home to a towering statue of Santa Muerte: “That wealth which tastes of pain, bitterness and suffering. This is the bread that a corrupt family or society gives its own children.”

An Italian journalist under criminal investigation by the Vatican was summoned to Vatican City this week, the Associated Press reports. The journalist, who published a book, based on leaked documents, about scandals at the Vatican, said Tuesday that he refused to answer a prosecutor’s questions.

Many Catholics are probably familiar with the feeling of ambient, unspecified guilt. And not just lay Catholics, apparently! Pope Francis would also like to apologize for... something.

According to a lengthy press release put out by Kim Davis’ attorney, the Pope squeezed some time into his busy schedule last week for a one-on-one meeting with everyone’s least favorite (and notably non-Catholic!) county clerk, Kim Davis. During which, the Pope reportedly thanked Kim “for her courage” and told her to…

On his recent visit to Philadelphia, Pope Francis looked his younger self in the eye, remembering the childlike wonder with which he used to see the world before he grew into a man, rose through the ranks of the Church, and came to bear the strictures, hopes, and aspirations of an entire religion on his aging…

On Sunday, Pope Francis met with five victims of childhood sexual abuse. According to the Associated Press, only some of those victims been abused by members of the clergy: some were assaulted by family members or educators.

While addressing Congress on Thursday, Pope Francis took a sip of water from a glass at his side. Afterwards, Congressman Bob Brady stole the glass, brought it back to his office, and drank from it.

Just as the Pope was touching down in New York City on Thursday, Donald Trump was peeking his feathered head over a railing to a rousing chorus of boos.

To honor the pontiff’s visit to the United States this week, New York pizza chef Tony Salihaj worked for hours—days maybe, who knows—recreating Pope Francis’s face with cheese and sauce for a special papal pizza.

One D.C. woman is surely hell-bound after CNN’s livefeed caught audio of her discussing a desire to throw her shoe at Pope Francis’s head before his address to Congress Thursday.

A five-year-old girl has become one of the few mortals with whom the Pope has held congress on his trip to the U.S. this week.

The so-called “cool” pope has done an extremely uncool thing this week and timed his first-ever visit to New York with the launch of Apple’s newest phone, which is now delayed.

Cool Pope “Francis” (a pseudonym) has said some things in the past that could be interpreted as less than completely enthusiastic about the predations of unrestrained capitalism. That bastard. The plutocrats will show him he’s wrong—the capitalist way!

On Sunday, Pope Francis, addressing thousands in St. Peter’s Square, asked every European parish, religious community, monastery, and sanctuary to shelter refugees. It is not enough to say, “Have courage, hang in there,” the pope said.

The Guardian today, picking up on a paper in Nature, reports that scientists have calculated that there are more than “3tn” trees on Earth. The “3tn” means three trillion. What does “trillion” mean in British English? Did they give up on that “billion”-means-“trillion”/“trillion”-means-“quintillion” nonsense yet? …

Cool Pope Francis announced today that for one year only, the “Jubilee Year of Mercy,” coming to a soul in you on December 8, priests may forgive contrite women who have had an abortion. “Couldn’t they already do that?” you might be wondering. Hey, guess what—NO!!!!