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AIG Corporate Security's Tips for Surviving an Angry Mob

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Mediahohoho
03/19/09

In reply to AIG Corporate Security's Tips for Surviving an Angry Mob
When I was living in Damascus, Syria with my Austrian diplomat (first) wife and some asshole working for the US government invaded the neighboring country, the Austrians gave me a sticker to put on my car that said "Ana meen Nimsa" and told me to say the same thing, "I am from Austria."

These fuckers need to remember that phrase.
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Mediahohoho
03/19/09

@Mediahohoho: And I use "fuckers" only in the most affectionate way. I understand that the vast majority of AIG employees are faceless cube jockeys just like me.
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PerlaEnemasity
03/19/09

In reply to AIG Corporate Security's Tips for Surviving an Angry Mob
You're all bloody idiots. Now i don't work at AIG but i know the facts. out of 118,000 worldwide employees, this mess was caused by 100 people, and the bonus payments that we are talking about were for these 100. You sound like the southern racists of the 50's, "string the people up??" Seriously, take a look at yourself in the mirror, and see the white cloth clad head smiling back
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TheMac
03/19/09

@PerlaEnemasity: Did you just call us all the KKK?

Wouldn't it have been more culturally relevant to call us terrorists?
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If_I_Had_a_Poodle
03/19/09

In reply to AIG Corporate Security's Tips for Surviving an Angry Mob
the call is coming from inside the building
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Krashstar
03/19/09

In reply to AIG Corporate Security's Tips for Surviving an Angry Mob
Ah yes, risk management. That's what insurance companies do best, right?
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MrInBetween
03/19/09

In reply to AIG Corporate Security's Tips for Surviving an Angry Mob
- If you discover an angry, torch-carrying mob is following you, run like mad.
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limber
03/19/09

In reply to AIG Corporate Security's Tips for Surviving an Angry Mob
This is actually totally enraging. I worked at AIG for a year (yeah yeah, stone me later, I didn't get any of the money), and the cubicleland drones have been wigging out since last September. Everyone keeps getting fired, no one knows what's going on, work is both sporadic and overwhelming (they give you a demanding task, and when it's 80% complete the project gets axed)...

Most of us never met the dicks getting the big money, considering there are about 500 of the selfish bastards throughout the enormous company. And I'm now hearing from old coworkers who are literally shaking as they go to work in the morning, worried that some nutbar will show up with an uzi. Colbert's pitchfork seems to have been a turning point in the "we're fucked" stakes.

Oh, and resignation won't help much either -- AIG's turning out to be the kiss of death on a resume. Also, if they leave, then the company collapses and takes all of the public's money with it.
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Kari's Favorite Mark
03/19/09

@limber: They got the beneift of the work of those 500 during the good times, and now they're getting the downside of working with those 500 in bad times. What's unfair?
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limber
03/19/09

@formerly it takes a lot to laugh: What benefit? The ability of those 500 to do their bloody job? Do YOU feel particularly blessed by being able to work for your division's faceless overlord, or are you just as aware as the AIG grunts were that there's someone way above your head raking in enormous amounts of money no matter what the economic times? Seriously, what's the benefit here, because that money did NOT trickle down.

Also, the "downside" in this situation is "populist mob".
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HeyThatsMyBike
03/19/09

@limber: Enron 2: Electric Bugaloo.
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FitnessMadeSimple
03/19/09

In reply to AIG Corporate Security's Tips for Surviving an Angry Mob
- Only get into limos driven by someone you know. To ensure your safety, you and your limo company should agree on a on a code word that is easy for you to remember. This way, if anyone tells you that you need to come with them because your usual chauffeur was hurt or is in the hospital, you can ask for the code word. If he is really a chauffeur, he will know the code word that you and your limo company share. If he does not know the code word, you should run away from him as fast as possible.
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Aaron Altman
03/19/09

In reply to AIG Corporate Security's Tips for Surviving an Angry Mob
"If you see something, like a cream pie heading for your face, say something."
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Aaron Altman
03/19/09

@Aaron Altman:

"If you sense you are being followed by a gang of vigilantes, stop in your tracks, turn around rapidly, point to a spot behind them and yell 'Hey look! It's a member of the Obama administration's economic team!' Run away while the gang is momentarily distracted."
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REZPECT
03/19/09

In reply to AIG Corporate Security's Tips for Surviving an Angry Mob
A friend in the financial arena posted this comment on Facebook (re: taxing bonuses at AIG, etc):

"This basically destroys any motivation for any executive to continue to working at a firm that took money... so the firms that need smart people most will not be able to attract talent because they can't compete with the private sector... smart thinking."

I think he's full of shit, personally.
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Nigromancer
03/19/09

@REZPECT: For the most part, he is. He would be correct if the financial job market was brisk; it is not. Thus, if they leave their job, they are not guaranteed of making the same income even if they do get a job quickly.
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pantsonfireliarliar
03/19/09

@Nigromancer: There are jobs out there. I know a few people who've moved from Goldman and Citi to Credit Suisse, Soc Gen and Barclays, note: all foreign companies.

Here's the other issue, say you run a profitable business unit inside one of these companies, you're actually helping the company make a buck to pay back those tax bucks. Now you've been targeted and won't be paid to do that job. Do you: A) stick around and do public service work? B) Start calling your buddies at other companies looking for a profitable business and start pitching it to them, taking with you your clients and some of your old team?
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SpicyMeatball
03/19/09

@pantsonfireliarliar: There aren't that many jobs out there. I am pretty sure there were enough "smart people" at Lehman and Bear who would happily replace them now. I am sick of hearing that argument justifying overinflated payouts in terms of retention. These same "talents" managed to run a global economy into the ground. Not sure that justifies retention, much less millions a year.
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contradicto
03/19/09

In reply to AIG Corporate Security's Tips for Surviving an Angry Mob
-- Buy AIG life insurance. Just in case.
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Cadu Lemos
03/19/09

In reply to AIG Corporate Security's Tips for Surviving an Angry Mob
Aqui está, na íntegra, o memorando interno da AIG prevenindo seus funcionários sobre possíveis 'atritos' em função da verdadeira cara de pau dos gestores...Atenção especial aos comentários, são divertidíssimos, o meu favorito é "minta ao dizer onde trabalha. confie na gente"...
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forwardmotion
03/23/09

@Cadu Lemos: Bom Dia!
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Lymed
03/19/09

In reply to AIG Corporate Security's Tips for Surviving an Angry Mob
And how many hundreds of administrative and clerical staff who don't make 6 figures are working for AIG and now at risk because of the actions of the company?
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limber
03/19/09

@Lymed: Lots. And they've been in a bunker mentality since mid-September worrying about losing their jobs in a recession, and now get the additional pressure of some deranged individual possibly showing up at an AIG office and taking it out on the receptionist.

All the guys who got those retention bonuses are working from home anyway, or going to meetings in the unbranded buildings. It's a perfect recipe for the exact people who don't deserve it getting hurt.
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ADismalScience
03/19/09

In reply to AIG Corporate Security's Tips for Surviving an Angry Mob
"Most importantly, don't panic. They're liberals; we have all the guns, remember?"
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Cicada
03/19/09

@ADismalScience: I'm a liberal and I have a gun. Okay, it's a stupid little .22, but still.
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Niko Bellic
03/19/09

@ADismalScience: Seems to me that some people with guns who consider themselves right-wing conservatives are quickly turning into anarcho-communist, what with demanding that the "American people" be given back the money that the capitalists have legally grabbed for themselves.
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pufflehuff
03/19/09

In reply to AIG Corporate Security's Tips for Surviving an Angry Mob
"Avoid wearing an AIG-branded shit, but don't forget to just buy it and hide it! Maybe for sale on eBay later!

"Go to our online shop, where you'll find 3 for 2 discount on diamond-encrusted "You Don't Have To Be A Rich Bastard To Work Here, But You'll Become One!" mugs!!

"Peace out dudes. Remember, keep dialling Corporate Security and 911 over and over again, those guys live to serve you. *wink*"
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pufflehuff
03/19/09

@pufflehuff: "Avoid wearing an AIG-branded shit"? Oh, the perils of a missing 'y', Puff.
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pufflehuff
03/19/09

@pufflehuff: and /, moron.
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contradicto
03/19/09

In reply to AIG Corporate Security's Tips for Surviving an Angry Mob
--Hire personal security. You can afford it.
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