We know we have it easy, sitting here at home, stereotypically pajama-clad and content to avoid places with cubicles and/or workspaces. Though our bathrooms are hardly beacons of Scrubbing Bubbles, we also know we are blessed in that when we inevitably choose to relieve our bodies of the fragrant waste we carry, we…

• Beer king Pete Coors gets a DUI; in an era of corporate corruption, it sure is nice to see an executive who really loves his product. [Denver Post]
• If you're going to have a complex, might as well develop it in your infancy: pictures of Suri Cruise aren't worth half as much as those of Shiloh. [TMZ]
• At 7 PM…

Marc Cuban's poolboy Dan Rather appeared on Larry King last night to discuss his hasty departure from CBS and his forthcoming work on HDNet. As you can imagine, the interview was nothing but fireworks:

NBC is reporting that the 62nd street townhouse explosion may have been caused by a gas leak; the building housed doctors' offices and investigators are looking into a possible suicide attempt. Until more details emerge, let's go to the man-on-the-street interview with a notorious gas expert:

On Friday, a reader claimed to have heard Larry King fart on-air towards the end of his interview with Star Jones; the video presented a questionable noise that may or may not have been the sound of King's anal methane. While we may never know if he passed gas with Star Jones, we've since received more information to…

It's come to our attention that in the final moments of Larry King's interview with Star Jones last night, the episode was given a special sign-off: As King was plugging tonight's forthcoming show, he took a pause and, "if you listen reeeeallly carefully," says our source, Ol' Shoulder Blades ripped an ass bomb. Or…

The Observer reports that the otherwise glistening building at 17 State Street has been having some real shit-slinging issues:

Nice cover story in the latest New York Press on the Payola Six scandal — so maybe they're a week late to the party, but they still bring with them some nice treats. Doug Dechert attended (UPDATE: make that "crashed") Page Six editor Richard Johnson and Sessa von Richthofen's wedding festivities, reporting that…

• After having unprotected sex with a green beret and trolling the web for the finest young men available, Clay Aiken is now looking for some female company. If only Penelope Cruz were available. [Page Six]
• Director Kevin Smith will not be casting Reese Witherspoon or Nicole Richie in any forthcoming films, as he…

Seriously, the ONE freaking morning we spare ourselves the horror of the Today show, and it's the morning that a bunch of birds crap on Katie Couric.

A reader writes:

More intrepid journalism from the Daily News:

Around Chinatown and/or the LES, you might see this sort of sign in your hallway, usually regarding spitting. But the rents are higher in Soho, so the bodily fluids are naturally more intense.

From the MSN homepage right now:

Surely a moment for the CNN scrapbook.

While we were busy watching Al Roker interview some genius about real estate being pricey, there was some climactic shuttle coverage on CNN:

Yahoo! provides a certain screen-grabbing reader's homepage with thumbnails of the site's most-emailed photos. Her observation on visiting the site this morning?