How Is Donald Trump Going to Quit?
Donald Trump is not going to be the president.
LIVE: Drying Paint Predicts Your Next President [Updated]
Men on the internet are upset again.
Five of Six Goldman Sachs Recommendations For This Year Already Proven Wrong
Goldman Sachs is a Very Sophisticated Wall Street Firm which is paid a good deal of money for its expertise in reading the financial markets. How is that going this year?
Here you will find dozens of predictions about what 2016 will bring for journalism, from “Local News Gets Smarter on Mobile” to “Distributed Platforms Will Be Your New Homepage.” The only journalism prediction worth a shit in any year is “I Hope I Keep My Job.”
Karl Rove's predictions for 2015 include a Supreme Court vacancy, a Seahawks Super Bowl win, and Republican Congressional leaders "producing a governing conservative vision for 2016." Our prediction for 2015: Karl Rove will look like an egg.
A Few Very Wrong Things The Fed Said in 2008
Hindsight is 20/20. And that's what makes it so great. It allows us to chastise those who were wrong in the past.
2014 Is the Year of the Seven-Toed 3D Pornography Beast
On this New Year's Day in America, 2014, the nation's typists ("thought leaders") are required to use their long-dormant psychic abilities to designate the next 12 months as the Year of Something or Other, whether that be "accidental mass suicide" or "wearable automobiles" or "raccoon-sized talking spiders." Such…
56 Things Writers Have Predicted 2014 Will Be "the Year of"
Happy new year! Now that 2013 is out of the way, it's time to get cracking on deciding the what next year is. The Year of the Winter Olympics? The Year of World Peace? Or maybe one of these 56 other options, predicted by writers all over?
Morgan Stanley CEO James Gorman says of the possibility of another financial crisis like the one in 2008, "The probability of it happening again in our lifetime is as close to zero as I could imagine." James Gorman is only 55 years old.
What Is the Next Bubble, and When Will it Pop?
Woefully underinformed speculators like us regularly prognosticate wildly about where the next economic disaster will come from, in a futile attempt to prepare ourselves for the inevitable anvil of financial doom that always, but always, falls upon the head of the underclass. How long until we all are smashed again?
Kate Middleton Is Having a Girl Because She Is Fat, Says Doctor
Kate Middleton: she’s fat! Got a fat face stretched across a marshmallow head, perched atop a neck made of a stack of quarters (if we’re keeping everything to scale) that's connected to a potato body. Why’s she being all fat all the time? According to some random doctor, it's because Kate Middleton is pregnant with a…
Accuweather forecasts eight Atlantic hurricanes this season, including three that will hit the U.S. Sounds fun.
Here's Who's Going To Win the Oscars This Year
For a variety of reasons, the winners in this years Oscars race have seemed clear-cut for weeks. Maybe it's because the nominations themselves this year contained few surprises or because of the heaping piles of trophies that the likes of Jennifer Lawrence and Argo have already picked up at the season's other awards…
50 Things 2013 Will Be 'the Year of'
The new year is upon us, and now that we've determined that 2012 was the year of "meh" (or was it the year of the slug?), we need to figure out where we're going next. What will 2013 be the year of — peace? Justice? Mobile social marketing? Here, 50 articles make the case for 2013 being the year of...
The Real Consequences of the Fiscal Cliff
The fiscal cliff is imminent. We are hurtling, not to mention barreling, toward it. Also, it's looming. Every news organization has been churning out folksy little cartoons explaining the situation at the rate of thousands a day since August. There have also been a lot of Wile E. Coyote jokes, and for that alone we…
Nobody Can Time the Stock Market, Vol. 220
Ever since the New York Stock Exchange was founded in 1792 amid the horse poop and scurvy of lower Manhattan, Ye Olde Stocke Prognosticationists have stood ready to predict how stocks would to in each upcoming year, in order to make YOU wealthy beyond your wildest dreams. And now, 220 years later, it is still not any…
Scientists Are the New Witches: Italy Jails Six Seismologists for Failing to Predict Earthquake
Italy, the country that earlier this year declared it a fineable offense to tell a man he has no balls, convicted seven seismologists of manslaughter on Monday, for failing to adequately assess the risk of a 2009 Earthquake that ended up killing 309 people.
Winter Is Coming
Know what the Weather Warlocks over at The National Weather Service were doing while you were taking a two-hour outdoor "working lunch" Thursday? They were issuing an El Niño watch.
Watch an Amazing Prediction of the iPad from 1994
Back in 1994, while the hosts of The Today Show were still grappling with the concept of the internet, a Knight Ridder think tank put together an amazingly prescient presentation on the tablet-y future of news consumption.
