Just as we predicted, the 2010 New Year's Eve party glasses are a hideous abomination designed for three-eyed aliens. This year is going to be a disaster. [Image via Nick McGlynn]

In your law-abiding Thursday media column: Martha Stewart shows kids how to do drugs, Mike Bloomberg explains the "new media," predictions for 2010, and Budget Travel is sold.

It's basically a given that the president's party will lose seats after his first midterm (except when 9/11 happens). So let's not get our hopes up. But Republicans really wanna try to prove that bit of conventional wisdom wrong.

Its new shows are in the toilet and it conceded a huge chunk of its prime time lineup to Jay Leno's horrid chatfest. How does the network rebound? By purchasing a new game show! The future holds nothing but death.

Mackenzie Phillips is setting the media ablaze with her revelation that she had sex with her father. Having come this far, just what will celebrity biographies have to confess to get attention a decade from now? Here's a preview!

Dash Snow is already being branded an "icon." The downtown sperm-and-whatever-else artist died Monday night of a heroin overdose at the age of 27. And you can already spot the outlines of a Basquiat-esque art world canonization starting to form.

Mark Sanford was totally going to be the next president, until he fell in love with Maria. Now, not so much. But Republican strategists have so many other Great White Hopes! What disasters will greet them?

Go ahead Harper Collins, dispatch Valleywag and Gawker alum Nick Douglas to root out the genius behind Awkward Family Photos, your next Urban Outfitters coffee table book deal.

The worlds' professional pontificators now have a sworn enemy. Wrong Tomorrow, a newly launched website, is getting Biblical on their ass, tracking predictions and recording their wrongness.

Paul Krugman writes in his column today about "the magazine cover curse." Funny he should mention it!

How bad is the recession? So bad that it's 'eroding' the 'foundation' of real estate in the Hamptons! No seriously, a billionaire's beach house is literally sliding into the ocean. And it gets worse!

Hey, America's #1 numbers whiz Nate Silver has already figured out who will win all the Oscars! Thanks for spoiling the "female Super Bowl," Nate, you misogynist. Click through to see the future of cinema:

"Reinhardt," the internet conspiracy theorist who correctly predicted the crash of 2008, warned us that it was "100% sure thing market begins huge downfall" on February 9, 2009. That's today! How'd that one hold up?

Wacky—and maybe financially beneficial—blast from the past: one anonymous nut on a Google Finance message board correctly predicted the day of the crash of 2008. Now that dude has another prediction, exclusively for you!

Who will dethrone Steve Jobs and Bill Gates as the kings of tech? [Gizmodo]

Israel announced today that it's close to ending its war in Gaza, possibly as early as this weekend. Just in time for the news to be swallowed by the Obamanauguration coverage saturation.

Corporate "futurist" and salvia-smoking internet surfer Faith Popcorn is back—from the future! And she's brought predictions, for the benefit of the world. Would you like to know what the magical year 2009 will hold, according to a lady who has somehow convinced companies to pay money to her totally made-up "trend…

We talk about the ongoing death of the newspaper medium a lot around here, because we are evil bloggers who hate the paper industry and, furthermore, are personally responsible for every beat reporter laid off in the past five years, because their CEOs decided to cut their jobs after reading about how bad their…

Our (self-described) "ruthless" overlord Nick Denton has gone on record predicting "a decline of up to 40% in advertising spending during this cycle." Thousands of media jobs have already been lost due to low ad revenues, and major ad agencies are predicted to be making large layoffs in January. And, of course,…

More sunny economic news for the newspaper industry: yesterday the financial ratings firm Fitch put out a report predicting that "several cities could go without a daily print newspaper by 2010." Oh joy! You won't have to complain about your shitty local fish wrapper much longer, if you live in "some cities" (*NEWARK…