What are teens "screwing" up now, literally, more or less, ha ha? Teen pregnancy. Easiest god damn thing in the world. Takes nothing more than peer pressure, lax parenting, and copious amounts of "sizzurp." Still, kids these days can't even get that right.
The public relations industry is a festival of shamelessness in which the most shameless are never shamed. We are here to change that. This is PR Dummies. The most shameful shames, every week.
I suppose it was inevitable. Jessica Simpson—like Demi Moore, Britney Spears, and every other female celebrity who has ever been pregnant—is on the cover of a magazine naked, pregnant, and posed with one hand on her boobs and the other on her belly. The pictures appeared online yesterday. Aren't we sick of this pose,…
Former Snooki smush partner Emilio Masella (the one she dumped on Facebook) offers kind words on the subject of his ex-girlfriend's rumored pregnancy: "I hope for her sake, not to be rude or anything, but I hope she has a miscarriage." Well, as long as he didn't mean to be rude. [TMZ, image of Snooki and Emilio via …
Though some outsiders believe that the culture of wealthy Los Angeles residents is outrageous, the "maternity concierge" team of Ellie Miller and Mellissa Gould disagrees. "Nothing is outrageous to us," they say. They are "maternity concierges." Nothing is outrageous to them.
What is it with kids these days? In my day, teenagers were all getting pregnant and it was a big crisis, very "punk rock." Nowadays kids are barely having babies at all. Have you kids completely given up?
Justin Bieber just took another step on the long path to teen pop-star irrelevancy: the paternity lawsuit! And it's a juicy one, too—the woman filing suit claims she took Bieber's virginity, in a bathroom backstage, and gave birth to a baby boy three months ago.
Annette Morales-Rodriguez of Milwaukee, Wisc., allegedly used techniques she learned from the Discovery Channel to perform a Cesarean section on a woman she'd abducted and murdered, in the hopes she could pass the woman's child off as her own.
In perhaps the most exciting display of obstetrical performance art since Karen Finley birthed a yam back in the early '80s, Brooklyn-based artist Marni Kotak is letting a gallery audience observe the delivery of her first child.
Addiction vaccine! HIV contraceptive! Lazy walkers! Alien snails! Autism therapy! Pregnancy diet! Drunk driving! Sun vitamins! And Alzheimer's is already creeping into you, right now! It's your Tuesday Health Watch, where we watch your health—strenuously!
Joe McGinniss, author of crazy/enthralling Palin biography The Rogue, went on The View today to demonstrate his trademark ability to force powerful women into awkward discussions of their vaginas.
Drinky ladies! Fewer smokers! Cheaper hospitals! Zombie mutants! Frozen athletes! Gay health! Cancer survivors! Pregnant painkillers! And you don't need no blood thinner girl, you look fine! It's your Wednesday Health Watch, where we watch your health—relatively painlessly!
MediaTakeout gives birth to a surprisingly catchy conspiracy theory: "The word behind the scenes at the VMAs was that Beyonce was wearing a PROSTHETIC BELLY." She's only eight weeks pregnant, MediaTakeout says, but remember that they also said Beyonce was several weeks pregnant in March 2010. Maybe fetuses age in…
What happens when America's calmest woman falls in love with America's most hilariously entitled dude? They get married! She gets pregnant! He cheats on her and leaves her! And then, letters like this, to Washington Post advice columnist Carolyn Hax:
Hilary Duff and her hockey husband, Mike Comrie, are gonna have some kind of baby in nine months (or less)! Earlier today she announced the news on her website—which you've all gone and momentarily busted, it seems, by trying to check out the new wedding pictures there.
Did Fox News host a momentary feminist triumph today? Why, yes, I think it did. Megyn Kelly invited blowhard radio host Mike Gallagher on her show, and played back audio from the time he scoffed, "Megyn's still on maternity leave, isn't she? Boy, what a racket that is." Select excerpts from the verbal pillaging:
Joe McGinniss, the journalist who briefly lived next door to the Palins, reports that Track Palin's wife Britta Hanson has given birth to her child, a girl named Kyla Grace Palin. As predicted, the birth was a bit earlier than abstinence advocates may have expected—three months after the Track and Britta's …
You know when a little kid sees a pregnant lady drinking a glass of OJ, and he's like "No! The baby will drown!" Turns out he's kind of right. The mother-to-be is drowning her baby in flavor, and it will impact the baby's palate forever, a new study finds. NPR reports:
Octomom Nadya Suleman has disrobed again, this time for America's trashiest magazine Steppin' Out.
Sarah Palin is going to be a grandmother again. Eldest child Track Palin married high school sweetheart Britta Hanson two months ago, and now we hear that Britta is pregnant. The picture above of "Britta Pie," which appeared on a Wasilla friend's Facebook wall, confirms the news she's expecting. Britta looks to be…
