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New York, 4:55 AM
Mon Nov 30
13 posts in the last 24 hours

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  • posts about #presents more →

    Martha Stewart Will Use Housewarming Gifts to Make You Feel Like a Total Loser

    The Future Of Luxury Magazines

    Stephen Colbert's Gift Bag
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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of friendslikeJimRome friendslikeJimRome
    04/10/09

    In reply to Martha Stewart Will Use Housewarming Gifts to Make You Feel Like a Total Loser
    My number one celebrity fantasy is to spend an afternoon cooking and baking with Martha Stewart.
     Reply
    friendslikeJimRome was starred friendslikeJimRome was unstarred
    Image of Hydroceph Hydroceph
    04/10/09

    @friendslikeJimRome: You need to get out more often, darling.
     Reply
    Hydroceph was starred Hydroceph was unstarred
    Image of hesterbee hesterbee
    04/10/09

    In reply to Martha Stewart Will Use Housewarming Gifts to Make You Feel Like a Total Loser
    I worship at the hem of Martha's robe. She's genuine, like her or loathe her, and it's fine with me if an expert wants to teach me to cook, sew and glitter Easter eggs. Even the king of knowledgeable snark himself, St. Anthony Bourdain of Manhattan says Martha knows how to cook.
     Reply
    hesterbee was starred hesterbee was unstarred
    Image of Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate
    04/10/09

    @hesterbee: Lots of people know how to cook. I'd rather learn from someone who pretends to be friendly better, like Alton Brown. (Who I've heard is a wee bit of a terror on set.)
     Reply
    Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate was starred Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate was unstarred
    Image of Dorothea Bercq Dorothea Bercq
    04/10/09

    In reply to Martha Stewart Will Use Housewarming Gifts to Make You Feel Like a Total Loser
    It's pretty clear that the homemade jellies and pillowcases and candles are not, in fact, made by Martha Stewart herself, but manufactured by an imprisoned labour force of disconsolate elves.
     Reply
    Dorothea Bercq was starred Dorothea Bercq was unstarred
    Image of Hydroceph Hydroceph
    04/10/09

    @Dorothea Bercq: she actually admitted as much, once.
     Reply
    Hydroceph was starred Hydroceph was unstarred
    Image of Hydroceph Hydroceph
    04/10/09

    In reply to Martha Stewart Will Use Housewarming Gifts to Make You Feel Like a Total Loser
    Something just occurred to me. Most people are too rude to take host gifts, anymore, so that's how the poors are getting out of it.
     Reply
    Hydroceph was starred Hydroceph was unstarred
    Image of restless restless
    04/10/09

    In reply to Martha Stewart Will Use Housewarming Gifts to Make You Feel Like a Total Loser
    It's insane to me how someone can feel "oppressed" by Martha Stewart's world. Just had this convo yesterday with a co-worker: she's selling a vision of hers, no one has to buy into it. I likened it to Julia Child's cooking show in the early 60's. My mom and her mom never French Classic Cuisine, but it was still fun for them to watch her show. Martha Stewart has good taste and her craft projects always look beautiful. I don't have time for that nor the inclination, but if someone else does and likes it, then go for it. Who cares, really? Anyway on the East Coast her perosna isn't so rarified as one may think. There are entire towns in Connecticut populated with women like her.
     Reply
    restless was starred restless was unstarred
    Image of BookishLookish BookishLookish
    04/10/09

    @restless: The Galloping Gourmet FTW.
     Reply
    BookishLookish was starred BookishLookish was unstarred
    Image of scroll_lock scroll_lock
    04/10/09

    In reply to Martha Stewart Will Use Housewarming Gifts to Make You Feel Like a Total Loser
    Why is this surprising? The wealthy are notorious for cheaping out and getting off on it. Which is not to say that I don't love Martha- I do. Her haughty bitchiness and domestic Nazism are a very soothing brand of escapist pleasure to watch. Plus, most of the time her taste is fabulous.
     Reply
    scroll_lock was starred scroll_lock was unstarred
    Image of VoxPopuli VoxPopuli
    04/10/09

    In reply to Martha Stewart Will Use Housewarming Gifts to Make You Feel Like a Total Loser
    Martha steals all her ideas from the Amish. Except for the glitter - that's from the Devil's Scrapbook.


    Also, what a crappy guest - homemade toys for kids who would rather play video games? Homemade candles from a millionaire businesswoman? Cheap and tacky.

     Reply
    VoxPopuli was starred VoxPopuli was unstarred
    Image of Hydroceph Hydroceph
    04/10/09

    @VoxPopuli: i don't know...the eggs? before i turned up allergic to them, fresh eggs really did beat the farmed kind.
     Reply
    Hydroceph was starred Hydroceph was unstarred
    Image of scroll_lock scroll_lock
    04/10/09

    In reply to Martha Stewart Will Use Housewarming Gifts to Make You Feel Like a Total Loser
    Martha's also had to cut back on vicious backstabbing of associates and underlings and has halved her budget of payments for insider trading info, which she would bind into handsome volumes herself in her bookbinding studio and categorize alphabetically according the stock.
     Reply
    scroll_lock was starred scroll_lock was unstarred
    Image of allyzay allyzay
    04/10/09

    In reply to Martha Stewart Will Use Housewarming Gifts to Make You Feel Like a Total Loser
    wait, what is the deal with the glitter kit, for serious?
     Reply
    allyzay was starred allyzay was unstarred
    Image of friend_of_a_friend friend_of_a_friend
    04/10/09

    @allyzay: Glitter makes some kick-ass Easter eggs.


    [www.marthastewart.com]

     Reply
    friend_of_a_friend was starred friend_of_a_friend was unstarred
    Image of FurrierAndIves FurrierAndIves
    04/10/09

    In reply to Martha Stewart Will Use Housewarming Gifts to Make You Feel Like a Total Loser
    Six candles? Why six? Is that sort of satanic?
     Reply
    FurrierAndIves was starred FurrierAndIves was unstarred
    Image of BookishLookish BookishLookish
    04/10/09

    @FurrierAndIves: You've never heard of the Six Candles of the Apocalypse?
     Reply
    BookishLookish was starred BookishLookish was unstarred
    Image of Astigmatism Astigmatism
    04/10/09

    In reply to Martha Stewart Will Use Housewarming Gifts to Make You Feel Like a Total Loser
    This is an entirely serious question: how does knitting help? The last I checked, a cashmere sweater from Uniqlo ran like half the price of the cashmere it would take to knit it yourself. Or is this only because I work too close to 7th avenue and they're ripping me off?
     Reply
    Astigmatism was starred Astigmatism was unstarred
    Image of Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate
    04/10/09

    @Astigmatism: That's what happens everytime I think of learning a craft. Once I add up all the materials I need, it would cost more than just buying it.
     Reply
    Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate was starred Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate was unstarred
    Image of friend_of_a_friend friend_of_a_friend
    04/10/09

    @Astigmatism: Serious crafters keep sheep on their country estate, sheer the sheep, hand card the wool, spin their own yarn, use organic dyes from heirloom plants they grow and knit only using needles that have been hand carved by trees naturally felled on their own property.


    That's how you get the savings.

     Reply
    friend_of_a_friend was starred friend_of_a_friend was unstarred
    Image of bytememehard bytememehard
    04/10/09

    @Itsjustcatnip: Yeah, but expensive as it is, the only way you're ever going to get a sweater knit from James Franco pubes is to do it yourself.
     Reply
    bytememehard was starred bytememehard was unstarred
    Image of misslinda misslinda
    04/10/09

    @Astigmatism: Yes, they're ripping you off. I order almost all of my yarn online as closeouts unless I'm having a yarn emergency. Also, instead of knitting a cashmere scarf, try Debbie Bliss Cashmerino Chunky and Super Chunky, you can sometimes find it as low as $5.99 per skein. It knits up beautifully, comes in stunning colors and is super duper soft.
     Reply
    misslinda was starred misslinda was unstarred
    Image of WindowSeat WindowSeat
    04/10/09

    @Astigmatism: I think the benefits of knitting/crafting/gardening are more about satisfaction than savings, but the argument can be made that it's a better use of your free time than watching tv.
     Reply
    WindowSeat was starred WindowSeat was unstarred
    Image of Hydroceph Hydroceph
    04/10/09

    @Astigmatism: I was in a meeting yesterday with a woman who very clearly had knit her entire outfit. That is never a good look.
     Reply
    Hydroceph was starred Hydroceph was unstarred
    Image of Hydroceph Hydroceph
    04/10/09

    @WindowSeat: actually, once you pay for the start-up, it can be pretty cheap. My husband makes our soap, it comes out a lot cheaper per bar than store-bought soap, to say nothing of being a hell of a lot better. I mean, sodium hydroxide and olive oil are pretty cheap, and even the essential oils aren't that expensive.
     Reply
    Hydroceph was starred Hydroceph was unstarred
    Image of saythatscool saythatscool
    04/10/09

    @Hydroceph: Are you married to Tyler Durden?
     Reply
    saythatscool was starred saythatscool was unstarred
    Image of WindowSeat WindowSeat
    04/10/09

    @Hydroceph: If you stick with it, it will pay off. I've been kitchen gardening for six years and it took me two years to get to a point where it was saving me money. Just started this year's crop of tomatoes under lights in the basement today. Catch me in August and we'll work out a soap-for-sauce deal.
     Reply
    WindowSeat was starred WindowSeat was unstarred
    Image of Hydroceph Hydroceph
    04/10/09

    @saythatscool: no, but after looking at pictures of him on the Googles, i wish i were.
     Reply
    Hydroceph was starred Hydroceph was unstarred
    Image of Hydroceph Hydroceph
    04/10/09

    @WindowSeat: hmmm, fresh tomato sauce. The mister is starting a recession garden this summer, although it remains to be seen what he can grow. But come August, you've got yourself a deal.
     Reply
    Hydroceph was starred Hydroceph was unstarred
    Image of diehausfrau diehausfrau
    04/10/09

    In reply to Martha Stewart Will Use Housewarming Gifts to Make You Feel Like a Total Loser
    But what do you do with the glitter? Is it for the eggs or I am supposed to use it to spruce up my out of date furniture? Is there some adult-appropriate glitter trend that I'm missing out on?
     Reply
    diehausfrau was starred diehausfrau was unstarred
    Image of Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate
    04/10/09

    @diehausfrau: Just glitter up the rims of your glasses, it uses less. (Green and sparkly!)
     Reply
    Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate was starred Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate was unstarred
    Image of Hydroceph Hydroceph
    04/10/09

    @diehausfrau: I'm waiting for an adult-inappropriate glitter trend, and then i'm there like green on grass.
     Reply
    Hydroceph was starred Hydroceph was unstarred
    Image of saythatscool saythatscool
    04/10/09

    In reply to Martha Stewart Will Use Housewarming Gifts to Make You Feel Like a Total Loser
    I want to be bound to a post while Martha drips hot wax from her homemade candle on my inner thigh. I want her to to whip me with glitter on her nipples and a frozen smile. I want Martha to be cruel to cool.


    Is that so much to ask of this economy?

     Reply
    saythatscool was starred saythatscool was unstarred
    Image of BookishLookish BookishLookish
    04/10/09

    @saythatscool: Yes, making all the girls who use Cool Whip and store-bought licorice for their fun and games feel inferior as hell.


    ///sobs

     Reply
    BookishLookish was starred BookishLookish was unstarred
    Image of bytememehard bytememehard
    04/10/09

    @saythatscool: Been there, done that. Wasn't as fun as it sounds, especially with her daughter and her daughter's chubby friend yelling in the background, "Whatever, Martha!"
     Reply
    bytememehard was starred bytememehard was unstarred
    Image of saythatscool saythatscool
    04/10/09

    @BookishLookish: My candle would love to be dipped in your homemade honey.


    @bytememehard: Yours too.

     Reply
    saythatscool was starred saythatscool was unstarred
    Image of bytememehard bytememehard
    04/10/09

    @saythatscool: My honey's dripping for you.
     Reply
    bytememehard was starred bytememehard was unstarred
    Image of saythatscool saythatscool
    04/10/09

    @bytememehard: Make my wickey sticky.
     Reply
    saythatscool was starred saythatscool was unstarred
    Image of BookishLookish BookishLookish
    04/10/09

    @bytememehard: Are you up for a three-way? I promise to keep the whatzit ten inches from you at all times.
     Reply
    BookishLookish was starred BookishLookish was unstarred
    Image of CaptainFantastic CaptainFantastic
    04/10/09

    @BookishLookish: That's the first time I've heard of that three-way combination. Gay male - bi male - female. Perhaps I should get out more?
     Reply
    CaptainFantastic was starred CaptainFantastic was unstarred
    Image of BookishLookish BookishLookish
    04/10/09

    @CaptainFantastic: Chortle. Yeah, I heard STC likes to swing, but with a bit of a preference one way--his way.


    (P.S., I would invite you, too, but I want you all to myself.)

     Reply
    BookishLookish was starred BookishLookish was unstarred
    Image of Kitten_Witawip Kitten_Witawip
    04/10/09

    @CaptainFantastic: been there done that and a good time was had by all.
     Reply
    Kitten_Witawip was starred Kitten_Witawip was unstarred
    Image of Hydroceph Hydroceph
    04/10/09

    @CaptainFantastic: OK, now i'm totally trying to connect the dotes and figure out who's what.
     Reply
    Hydroceph was starred Hydroceph was unstarred
    Image of Hydroceph Hydroceph
    04/10/09

    @Hydroceph: that would be dots.
     Reply
    Hydroceph was starred Hydroceph was unstarred
    Image of saythatscool saythatscool
    04/10/09

    @Kitten_Witawip: I call bs! Send some pictures to me immediately Kitten if you want to prove it to me.


    @Hydroceph: I think I would be the meat in that sandwich.

     Reply
    saythatscool was starred saythatscool was unstarred
    Image of Hydroceph Hydroceph
    04/10/09

    @saythatscool: oooh....hmmmm. such a visual. but why do i suddenly feel underage?
     Reply
    Hydroceph was starred Hydroceph was unstarred
    Image of mfnher mfnher
    04/10/09

    In reply to Martha Stewart Will Use Housewarming Gifts to Make You Feel Like a Total Loser
    What exactly do fancy chickens look like?
     Reply
    mfnher was starred mfnher was unstarred
    Image of Claire Buoyant Claire Buoyant
    04/10/09

    @mfnher: A silkie?


     Reply
    Claire Buoyant was starred Claire Buoyant was unstarred
    Image of mfnher mfnher
    04/10/09

    @Claire Buoyant: Oooooooh, pretty!
     Reply
    mfnher was starred mfnher was unstarred
    Image of Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate
    04/10/09

    In reply to Martha Stewart Will Use Housewarming Gifts to Make You Feel Like a Total Loser
    Aw Martha. You used to revolt me so, but since you did some prison time, I just chuckle when I see your picture. Then I picture you trying to knit a chisel or something useful.
     Reply
    Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate was starred Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate was unstarred
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