Washington Times Announces Additional Changes to Become a 21st Century Multimedia Company

Changes include improved on-line presence, focused print edition and more exclusive news and commentary

WASHINGTON, DC - The Washington Times LLC today announced changes to refocus its position as a provider of vital information and insight to readers in the nation's capital, across the country and around the world. As with other news organizations in the United States, the company continues to reshape operations to keep pace with the dynamically changing economics of the news business.

"These changes will continue The Washington Times' transformation into a 21st century media company and reinforces its mission to provide an independent, alternative voice in the nation's capital," said President and Publisher Jonathan Slevin. "We have developed plans to secure our position and advance our vital role in an evolving media marketplace and through challenging economic times. A new Washington Times will continue to reach readers and more effectively earn new audiences via digital, broadcast, print and wireless media, well into the future.

"Changes at the Times are rooted in a rigorous business analysis applying sound and tested financial principles, and shaping plans informed by current marketplace realities," continued Slevin. "In this regard, the company is aggressively working to achieve efficiencies of scale that must include significant staff reduction of its 370 personnel."

Scheduled for incremental implementation between now and the first half of 2010, the changes announced include:

• News focused on strengths. The Washington Times news operation will operate in a highly focused manner, investing in Washington Times' well-established core strengths that include exclusive reporting and in-depth-news national political coverage, enterprise and investigative reporting, geo-strategic and national security news, and cultural coverage based on traditional values.

• Controlled-market local circulation. In the first quarter of 2010, the local print edition will be distributed at no cost in select areas, and home/office delivery will be offered at a premium price. No-cost distribution will focus on targeted audiences at influential branches of the federal government as well as at other key institutions. Single copy sales will continue through newspaper boxes and retailers at select locations. Current subscribers will also be offered their choice of subscriptions to Washington Times' digital editions and The Washington Times National Weekly.

• Digital news resources: The Company will expand the recently launched theconservatives.com, subscription-based e-briefings and other new digital information resources as part of its online strategy.

• Radio programming. The newspaper's 3-hour-a-day morning radio program, "America's Morning News," will continue to grow through its syndicated by Talk Radio Network. It currently airs in more than 70 markets nationwide.

• Partnerships. The Washington Times will work closely with its affiliate company, United Press International (UPI), to mutually benefit both organizations through collaboration in areas such as photography and online sales, as well as leveraging UPI's multi-lingual and international presence.

"The new Washington Times will continue to report Washington-focused news that other journalistic enterprises often overlook," said Slevin. "Fearless reporting, respect for American values, and crisply written editorials and columns will remain the centerpieces of our new strategy, and our content will continue to engage readers and viewers through a wide range of 21st century media."

[Referring] To your post:

http://gawker.com/5389594/oscar+winner-paul-haggis-publicly-resigns-from-church-of-scientology-over-gay-rights

Ah. Yes. Paul Haggis. They suggested we link to their food website, which has a recipe for haggis, "A sheep's heart, liver, and lungs mixed with minced onion, oatmeal, suet, spices, salt, and stock...boiled in the sheep's stomach."

We will ask Paul Haggis if he's into that.

Just reading this press release once is equivalent to obtaining a master's degree in Communications from a mid-tier public university.

"The Tyra Show"

International Exclusive: Woman with TWO Vaginas!

Click Here for Video: http://tyrashow.warnerbros.com/2009/01/woman_two_vaginas_lauren.php

Air Date: 11.6.09

(New York, NY) — It's a "Tyra Show" international exclusive, meet the woman who was born with two vaginas in an episode scheduled to air on Friday, November 6th.

Lauren Williams, who is now 29 years old, was born with two vaginas.

Lauren Williams: "I've got two uteruses. Just one to each (fallopian tube), then they go down to two cervixes, and then it did go down to the two vaginas."

Williams, who was diagnosed with two vaginas when she was 25-years-old, also believes she has 2 periods.

Lauren Williams: "I think so because my periods generally last about 21 days...When I was a teenager I had really heavy periods...I would have to change pads every hour."

Tyra also questions Williams on her ability to have children and was amazed by her answer.

Lauren Williams: "The doctor in England said pregnancy wise, it should be okay...if I do get pregnant it should push the other uterus over to one side and keep it out of the way. Me and my partner would need to plan on using condoms just in case I got pregnant in the other one."

Tyra Banks: "You're the only pregnant woman that can get pregnant while pregnant."

Tune in to find out what sex is like for Lauren and what 2 vaginas looks like!

MUST INCLUDE TUNE IN
"The Tyra Show" airs weekdays on The CW at 4:00 PM.

EPIC, a new luxury lifestyle, waterfront boutique hotel located in the heart of downtown Miami, is offering special rates for those visiting Miami to enjoy White Party Week events and festivities from November 25-30, 2009. Rates start from $119 - $249 per night, proceeds from each room booked will be donated to Care Resource.

To book, guests can visit www.epichotel.com and enter the rate code "WHITE."

Enter the rate code "WHITE." All the conspiracy theories are true.

[Thanks, M!]

Here's the text of an email we received tonight from a Star Magazine flack:

Breaking News! Star Reporter Dating Jon Gosselin

It's a stunning turn of events that even Star couldn't see coming, father-of-eight Jon Gosselin and one of our reporters have fallen for each other.

Kate Major confirmed tonight that she and the Jon & Kate Plus 8 dad are an item, five days after they were first photographed together.

"I didn't mean it to happen, it just did," Kate, 26, says. "I went to do a story on Jon and ended up falling for him."

The release included a link to a post on the Star website with a request for us to link back to their story if we happened to post anything on the subject, a request we're more than happy to oblige. Here you go Star:

Star, You Are the Fucking Worst, You Know That? [Star]

We admire their response time, though question the public-appearance-coaching abilities of professionals who send out cringeworthy mass emails that about how to talk to people.

Just ugh, Levine. Just ugh.

Hi [Editor of GayListDaily.com],

A recent study published in the June issue of Contraception Magazine presents findings that the "Pull Out" method of birth control rivals the use of condoms. http://www. guttmacher.org/pubs/journals/ reprints/Contraception79-407- 410.pdf

Published by sex researcher Rachel K. Jones and based on several studies and data from the Guttmacher Institute, the study indicates that "pulling out" before ejaculation is nearly effective as condoms in preventing pregnancy – calling the method "only slightly less effective" than condoms.
http://www.cbsnews.com/ stories/2009/05/28/health/ main5045514.shtml

This study has clearly raised concerns amongst healthcare experts, with lively opinions and debate being expressed across the media. To speak with 20 year veteran on contraception, Carol Carrozza, VP of Marketing for Ansell Healthcare, the makers of LifeStyles Condoms, please contact me. Carrozza is an industry expert and can provide commentary and insight on the study, as well as answer relevant questions.

All my best,

[Poor flack]
5W Public Relations

We hope you will take this family planning information to heart, gays.
5WPR is hiring, btw!
[Bad Pitch Blog]

MYSTERY SOLVED: Several inside sources have finally confirmed that [Brand of cigars with bad publicists] was indeed the cigar that was used between Monica Lewinsky and Bill Clinton.

In light of the HBO movie that is going into production with Dennis Quaid and Julianne Moore titled "Special Relationship" featuring the love (or lack thereof) trio between Bill, Hill and Mon, the mystery of the century has finally been solved!

Among all of the scandal, blue dresses and SNL skits mocking Ken Starr, Linda Tripp and all the main players...one character seemed to be on the tip of everyone's tongue...the token oval office cigar. For years people have speculated about what cigar Bill and Monica "smoked" that fateful day and it has finally been released.

Bill Clinton would not smoke anything short of the best-of-the-best thus why he kept several [nasty] Cigars, producers of the most expensive cigars in the world, around his office for special occasions. Several inside sources have finally confirmed that [gross] Cigars was indeed the cigar that was used between Monica Lewinsky and Bill Clinton. It was in fact the [specific type of tasteless] Cigar, which has been reported to be one of Bill Clinton's favorite stogies!

This press release is predictably brought to you by 5WPR.

Julie Henderson comes from a good family. Her grandfather Samuel Henderson invented the Henderson grapefruit in the 1960's and built an empire in Texas . She has been modeling for the past 7 years and is an accomplished Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue favorite appearing in the issue 3 years in a row.

This arrived under the subject line "Further Clarification Regarding Russell Simmons and Julie Henderson." Thank you, Ryan Brown at Factory PR, for providing this mystifying clarification of your client's sexual purity and family grapefruit empire. Then he totally pasted this photo in the bottom of the email:

We hope this clears up this "Julie Henderson is a high fallutin' call girl golddigger" issue once and for all.

With a simple act of washing our hands, we can help wash the earth clean of landmines. Cleanup is a new line of all-natural soap formed in the shape of landmines. Cleanup raises funds for landmine removal and survivor assistance and also promotes awareness of the global landmine crisis...

"I came upon the idea of developing soaps in the shape of landmines because of the powerful message it sends: when raising funds for landmine removal, the point is for them to disappear, said [the product designer]i. As the soap disappears, so do the landmines."

Buy now! Before those thieving fuckers from Operation Smile rip off the idea with their Cleft Palate toothpaste.

That's actually the musky scent that cries out to the world: "I got robbed in Brooklyn." My Brooklyn cologne would feature essences of kielbasa, Newports, and BQE exhaust fumes. Put yours in the comments for a good time.

Look we're just going to quote extensively from their press release because it's not really possible to improve on:

National Hot Dog & Sausage Council Says President-Elect Obama’s Historic Trip to Famous DC Hot Dog Restaurant Reflects Excellent and All-American Taste in Cuisine

Sunday, January 11, 2009

National Hot Dog & Sausage Council Says President-Elect Obama’s Historic Trip to Famous DC Hot Dog Restaurant Reflects Excellent and All-American Taste in Cuisine

Washington, DC – President-Elect Barack Obama’s visit to the DC landmark Ben’s Chili Bowl for a half-smoke yesterday reflects his excellent and all-American taste in cuisine.

According to National Hot Dog & Sausage Council President Janet M. Riley. “His stop yesterday shows that while the most sophisticated chefs in America may be vying for his palate, American hot dogs and sausages were the ‘wieners’ this weekend in Washington.”

Ben's Chili Bowl is a famous DC landmark. It is a black-owned business that has survived some very tough times in what was once a riot-torn black neighborhood. Now of course it is all gentrified and Ben's is known primarily among younger DC residents as the place that is open precisely one hour beyond bar close. So Obama was probably drunk.

For years there was a sign at Ben's that said "Who eats free at Ben's: Bill Cosby. No one else." Last year they added the entire Obama family! So he was drunk and cheap. Also here is a funny bit from the visit:

Asked by a member of the traveling press pool about the significance of his visit, Obama said, "It means I'm going to get a hot dog."

Still—we, along with the National Hot Dog & Sausage Council, applaud our president-elect's fantastic taste in hot dogs.

The Canadian Tourism is bringing the Olympic sport of curling to Bryant Park to expose New Yorkers to the excitement of the competitive game – and one lucky contestant will walk away with the keys to a new car, a $500 gas card and a seven-night hotel stay in Canada (all of the elements needed for an unforgettable drive vacation to Canada)!Details below:

WHAT: New Yorkers are invited to attempt their curling skills on the ice of the Pond at Bryant Park…for a chance to win a new car and a road trip to Canada.

WHEN: Wednesday, Dec. 17 from 12:00 p.m. – 2:00 p.m.

WHERE: The Pond at Bryant Park’s ice rink (between 40th and 42nd Streets and Fifth and Sixth Avenues)

WHY: There’s more action on the ice this winter than figure skaters and hockey players. Curling is a winter sport that’s extremely popular in Canada and now New Yorkers will have the opportunity to try it out, right in Bryant Park.

HOW: Each participant will get a turn to send the curling “rock” (an official curling stone made of granite) across the ice. Canadian curling expert Brad Gushue will be on hand to demonstrate the proper technique and answer any questions about the sport.

From the company's letter to advertisers:

8. Why should advertising clients continue advertising with Tribune?
Tribune is not going out of business. In fact, the company took this step to take control of its business and ensure it’s viable for many years to come. The company’s brands remain strong—we’re still publishing our newspapers and operating our TV stations and websites. Tribune values its relationships with advertisers and looks forward to continuing to work with them.
9. How long will the reorganization process take?
This process can last varying amounts of time.

Okay! And to employees, Zell says: just keep on working:

By restructuring our debt, we will reduce the pressure on the company’s operating businesses, enabling us to pursue our vision of creating a sustainable, cutting-edge media company that is valued by our readers, viewers, and advertisers, and that plays a vital role in the communities we serve. This filing should not impact the way you do your jobs on a day-to-day basis.

Until they are gone. [Pic via]

"I am not saying 'Kill Obama' I am only saying, 'Who Killed Obama?' And yes, you may say that I am predicting the near future."

Idiot.

"I am still not sure if this is the best pop art creation I have ever made, or if it is the worst pop art creation I have ever made. But one thing is certain, it is definitely one pop creation that asks a lot of questions and evokes a lot of emotions in people... If I wouldn't do it, as an artist, who will?"

Probably some other idiot.

COULD A BEDSIDE SHOTGUN RACK HAVE SAVED JENNIFER HUDSON’S FAMILY FROM TRAGIC DEATH?

Tragedy strikes in a Chicago home leaving 3 people dead and an Oscar winner forced to identify the bodies of her family.

Jennifer Hudson’s mother and brother were gunned down in their home Friday. Could an invaluable device have saved their lives? It’s called The BackUp and it is a bedside shotgun rack. ...

Whether it is someone known or a stranger entering the home, too many people in this country are paying with their lives during these home invasions. The Hudson family is just one of far too many Americans gunned down in their own home.

What can be done? Law enforcement and the government aren’t solving the problem. So law-abiding citizens are now forced to take their safety, security, and life into their own hands.

It's true! Now you can handle the "people of interest" in your own life when they come knocking, kidnapping, shooting and/or intending general homicidal mischief in your own home. It's made in America, and it works — just ask company president John Peters, who is ready to receive your questions at (612) 605-3613 or press-info@the-backup.com. We're sure comments are welcome as well; send our coldest regards either way.

• COULD A BEDSIDE SHOTGUN RACK HAVE SAVED JENNIFER HUDSON’S FAMILY? [MMDN]