The practice of public relations is to subtle, poetic language what a hammer is to a willow tree: not it. These are the PR Dummies. Defending the right to poor taste, every week.

The public relations industry is happy to swallow ordinary happy life events, besmirch them, and poop them back out. It is a virtual besmirchment machine. This is PR Dummies. Besmirching the besmirchers, every week.

Something strange is going on in the NASA publicity department. The agency's latest press release marks a stark divergence in tone from the kind of content they're usually serving up.

The public relations industry is essentially a grand sleight-of-hand trick in which money is extracted from clients in exchange for building a smokescreen of wordplay around a pile of excrement ("the product"). It's a living. This is PR Dummies. Poking the poo pile, once a week.

The public relations industry is at best comical, at worst evil, and, for the most part, a simpering crab pot of truth-twisting and careerist ego stroking. This is PR Dummies. Sticking our hand in the pot, once a week.

The public relations industry is the birthplace of nutrition-free filler that grows up to become pseudonews. Sometimes, it can be a terrifying thing to behold in its rawest form. This is PR Dummies. The dumbth of PR, every week.

The Journal of the American Chemical Society sent out a press release today that, in addition to being wildly speculative, is also ABSOLUTELY TERRIFYING OH GOD.

The public relations industry is often called upon to smooth over the errors of others. This makes their own mistakes all the more delicious. This is PR Dummies. Dummies, in PR, every week.

Public Relations is a welcoming refuge for the world's worst scoundrels, an amoral haven in which the most antisocial of behaviors can be supported and celebrated, for a fee. This is PR Dummies. The worst of the worst, weekly.

The public relations industry is a festival of shamelessness in which the most shameless are never shamed. We are here to change that. This is PR Dummies. The most shameful shames, every week.

The public relations industry is a heartless machine that cares not about a human's life or death, unless it can be used to sell a product. Your soul is only worth a poorly written press release. This is PR Dummies. The worst of the worst, every week.

The public relations industry is full of whores. Sometimes, they get themselves confused with the rest of the world. We present one of those instances, below. This is PR Dummies. Flackery's worst, every week.

The public relations industry is the sports bra of professions: outwardly flattering, but sweaty, oppressive, and unsexy beneath the surface. This is PR Dummies. The worst of the worst, every week.

The public relations industry often seems like a vast sea of ineptitude, studded with fetid islands of grotesquerie. No more so than when approaching Valentine's Day. This is PR Dummies. The worst of the worst, on a weekly basis.

The public relations industry is, in general, an ongoing battle for attention between the calculating evil villains and the merely buffoonish clowns. We will do our part to expose awful PR practitioners in our weekly PR Dummies column. Let us give them the attention they want. Bad, bad attention.

Public relations is a field whose cravenness is superseded only by the ineptitude of many of its practitioners. We will do our part to mock, expose, and belittle deserving PR people in our weekly PR Dummies column. This is our second installment.

Public relations is a field populated by an overabundance of liars and morons. (Apologies to the honest, mentally facile minority.) Deadspin used to run a feature called PR Dummies, in which it urged that various PR people be fired, for being dumb. (Generally expressed through dumb press releases.) Our new editor,…

Incompetent superflack Ronn [sic] Torossian's 5WPR—the hilariously tasteless, unethical, and error-prone PR firm that's repped Tiger Woods girls and Girls Gone Wild's Joe Francis—is now in the family values business, according to a hot new press release:

Incompetent superflack Ronn [sic] Torossian is primarily known for harassing employees and harassing journalists and giving poor advice and suing everyone over everything and representing odious clients and generally running a PR firm which is hilariously incompetent and unethical. Who better to teach you about PR?

This press release can't be real, can it? Now circulating on PRNewser, the Hairpin, and Mom-101: A PR email urging daughters to give their mothers moist vaginas for Mother's Day.