Alan Colmes was supposed to show up at work on Monday as usual, and after getting his morning cup of coffee from the machine that spits out cappuccinos or espresso or whatever else you want in the morning, he was supposed to go on set and, after about two, maybe three minutes of badgering by Hannity, he was supposed to calmly reach back, behind his head and slowly, but deliberately remove his fake human head/mask, revealing-finally- for all those in the studio and the wretched masses watching Fox at home to see, once and for all, his true reptilian alien face. And as Hannity chokes on his coffee after his partner sloughed off his costume and revealed himself to be an alien lizard with green scaly skin, Colmes-or the lizard alien formerly known as Colmes, I should say-was supposed to jump across the set, (and in one swift move) rip Hannity's right leg clean off his torso and then start beating him to death with his own leg, after which he was supposed to eat Sean's head and then spit out the ground up bones as he waltzed off the set belching, then stroll over to the window in the back, jump out and disappear without a lizard trace, never to be seen again.

That's how it was supposed to end. Not this lame-ass "I quit" bullshit.

Did I mention I fucking hate Sean Hannity? Fucking assholes.

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[www.mediabistro.com]

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sometimes you have to get rid of the old ball and chain.

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