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New York, 6:25 PM
Wed Nov 11
59 posts in the last 24 hours
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06:07 PM
With hair looking all gelled up and spiky
Your name is probably Joey or Mikey
Or Cousin Paulie or Anthony
(Though you pronounce it Ant + Knee.)
Everyone else calls you a guido,
but you think you're all pretty neat-o.
Your tan's slathered on, your T is too tiny
and for some strange reason your jeans are all shiny.
And by the way, nobody believes the jacket's Armani
It's made in a sweatshop by an Azerbaijani.
You keep protein powder over your fridges
and come Friday, cross Manhattan's tunnels and bridges
to hit the clubs and Gallagher's 2000
before returning to your house and
ordering up some eggplant parm
you're a simple guy, you mean no harm.
Catcalling to every girl within earshot
telling her what she needs is what you've got
She's getting away! There's no time to be subtle!
Better yet, you're on to the next before you hear her rebuttal.
You're oblivious to the city's despise
and second person plural is always "Youse guys".
Wow oh wow, your friend has on a nifty striped shirt
and if someone spills beer on it, they're gonna get hurt.
Hey look at that! A fancy gold chain!
Does the 7-pound cross cause you neck strain?
Does it remind you of Jesus' cross?
Was it a gift from a Mafia boss?
Come summer you'll be at the Jersey Shore
causing a ruckus with girls dressed as whor...nevermind.
But you just want to meet a nice gal
to make her your wife. You'll find her! You shall!
She'll have bangs so high and nails like talons
and she'll spend half your paycheck at the local salons.
She’ll send four kids down her birth canal
Before leaving you for your cousin Sal.
But tonight is for partying, hell yeah muthafuckas
and inspiring jealousy in the rest of us suckas. #mtv
05:39 PM
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06:07 PM
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05:26 PM
But if you read down you will see there is a big discussion going on about guido, and general consensus is, its a descriptive term of one group of people (who might not even be italian, there are plenty of non-italian guidos out there), not a slur against a entire race. #mtv
05:37 PM
Quit your bitching, guido. #mtv
05:38 PM
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04:47 PM
B.) I love the guy fist pumping like he's jerking off someone to the camera left. #mtv
04:40 PM
Before the first molecule of hair gel is applied, I already see spinoffpalooza:
[www.holytaco.com] #mtv
04:25 PM
04:20 PM
In other thought -- would be great if Arthur Kade will make a 'guest' appearance on this show. #mtv
04:19 PM
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03:29 PM
i'm putting that shit on a shirt, mug, bumpersticker, facebook profile, blanket, snuggie... #mtv
03:35 PM
You know he's worked that line to get it to where it is now. #mtv
03:41 PM
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04:08 PM
also, hearted for the jaeguh baaaaahms - which i had to convert to jersenglish to understand! #mtv
04:33 PM
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