I just got back from several days in New Hampshire, attending political rallies across the state and observing thousands of voters in their natural habitat. What have I learned about what will happen in the presidential race? Nothing!
MANCHESTER, NEW HAMPSHIRE--New Hampshire! Land of granite, and heroin, and many white people unironically enjoying Republican political events.
Thankfully, when Anderson Cooper asked Hillary Clinton about her Wall Street ties at tonight’s Democratic town hall, she didn’t try to invoke 9/11 this time. She did, however, mar what would have otherwise been a notably personable performance with one of her worst Goldman Sachs justifications yet.
About an hour ago, Bernie Sanders was in the middle of of speaking at a rally in Birmingham when he heard a crash off to the side of the stage. Visibly distraught, Bernie gasps, “Oh my god!” and rushes to the man’s aid. Which leaves us with one, glaring question—Bernie, what are you hiding?
As Jeb Bush heads back out onto the campaign trail to snag that fifth place spot he so rightfully deserves, he’s decided to call in a little backup. That’s right, Barbara Bush, mother of Jeb Bush, is joining her son in New Hampshire.
Jeb Bush, who once dreamed of a fifth-place victory in Iowa only to have even those grim goals crushed, seems to be lowering the bar yet again. Rather than imploring New Hampshire residents for their votes, Bush has set his sights on something far more reasonable—polite applause.
Hillary Clinton can now officially claim victory in Iowa, beating Bernie Sanders by a razor-thin margin of 0.2 percent according to Breaking News.
Earlier today, Donald Trump apparently received a tip that “there may be someone with tomatoes in the audience.” And how would Donald Trump like his adoring fans to react to this alleged tomato carrier? Donald Trump wants them to beat the shit out of him.
With the Iowa caucuses officially kicking off primary voting season, it won’t be long before a brand new butt is working a fresh groove into Obama’s old chair. In preparation, our various candidates are already hard at work making wild schedules for their first day on the job. And each one is more impossible than the…
There was, incredibly enough, a time when Jeb Bush was so awash in love (cash) from donors that he asked them to refrain from giving more than $1 million at a time. They listened.
Earlier tonight, Ted Cruz’s last big pre-caucus rally got hijacked when a heckler after our own hearts began to scream, “Ted Cruz looks so weird!” He then immediately proceeded to feign vomiting into a trash can.
At the end of tonight’s Trump-less GOP debate, the candidates played the customary “wander around the stage and pretend you actually like each other” game. But apparently, even when they’re just pretending, the candidates still can’t bring themselves to stomach Ted Cruz.
Right now, Fox News is airing the last GOP debate before the Iowa caucuses on February 1. And for the first time in our roughly 78 GOP primary debates, Donald Trump is nowhere to be seen, meaning that tonight’s theme is tear apart Ted Cruz. And we’re liveblogging every last gory detail.
Nevada’s tasty Culinary Union says it just busted multiple Bernie Sanders aides who were posing as union members in an attempt to talk to hotel workers about the February caucus.
Tonight at 9 p.m. EST, every GOP candidate who is not a[n openly] narcissistic, insolent infant will be debating on the Fox News stage for the one thousandth time. Also at 9 p.m., Donald Trump will be offering counter programming in the form of his very own, hastily assembled “Fuck You Fox News” rally. Who will win?…
Last night’s Donald Trump rally was interrupted by a splattered tomato, a term which is, perhaps for the first time, not being used in reference to Trump’s appearance.
Chris Christie will not be returning home to New Jersey in time for the blizzard expected to hit the state this weekend and plans to govern instead from New Hampshire—after all, the man has a primary to lose.
Donald Trump isn’t a fan of protesters at his rallies, sure, but is he willing to send them to their deaths? Sure, why not.
It hasn’t been an easy year to be Jeb Bush. He peaked in July, lost his groove, recovered his groove, realized he’d borrowed his new groove from a child predator, quietly phased it out again, and pet a stuffed moose. Fortunately, social media was there to chronicle every godforsaken gloomy minute.
The Democratic National Committee has accused Bernie Sanders’ campaign of illicitly accessing confidential voter information acquired by the Clinton campaign, The Washington Post reported late Thursday night. Sanders’ campaign manager, for his part, hasn’t denied the allegations outright—but he is chalking the whole…
