Tracking, Not Polling [Mark Steyn]

A non-poll-derived analysis:

I am not running for President. You, the gentle reader, are not running for President. The only two people who are running for President, Obama and McCain, are going to states and sending advertising money to other states that don’t even match the public polls. For example, Pennslyvania is colored a ‘dark blue’, yet both Obama and McCain are visiting the state. ‘Dark blue’ or ‘light blue’ is the color of Iowa, yet both Obama and McCain are there. Many polls say that Georgia is a ‘toss-up’, yet neither Obama or McCain are visiting that state. Since the only two people running for President are performing actions entirely differently than the public polling, one can either say that the presidential candidates are just running around states randomly and are dumb, or it is the possibility that the public polling is not accurate.

From my perspective, it has been sheer comedy watching pundits and observers attempt to ‘rationalize’ the candidates’ visits to states the public polls say are not in play. When McCain and Palin hip hop across Pennslyvania, is it because the public polls are wrong? NO! It is because McCain is doing a ‘hail mary’ strategy to launch all efforts on Pennslyvania in order to win it as a last ditch effort to save his campaign. What about Obama visiting Pennslyvania, is it a suggestion the public polls are wrong? NO! It is because Obama is only going there to respond to McCain and clean up whatever mess he makes. What about when McCain went to New Hampshire? Could it be the polls were not the reality on the ground? NO! It is because McCain is senile. So how does this explain Palin going to Iowa which is considered a ‘lock’ to Obama by polling? Could the polls be wrong and that it may be more competitive than we thought? NO! The only possible answer is that Palin had gone completly rouge* and is going to Iowa to jumpstart here 2012 presidential campaign... But why is Obama going to Iowa then? Could it, possibly, be the polls in that state are more competitive than we think? NOOOO...

(*I don't know what Palin going "completely rouge" means but I like the sound of it.)

Ha ha ha. Also, Jonah Goldberg took a break from posting '80s comedy YouTubes to suggest that an imminent Obama victory has angered the king of the sea.

(And Andy McCarthy is still going on about Khalidi and Ayers.)

Elsewhere: RedState is down.

Glenn Reynolds, the most intellectually dishonest "libertarian" on the Blogosphere, reports high turnout at polling places this morning, along with reader reports begging him to at least claim that "high turnout favors Republicans." He can't, so prays for someone "who knows more than I do" to look at the numbers and deliver a blatantly misleading piece of delusional nonsense Glenn can link to with minimal comment, preserving his at-this-point in-his-own-mind-only reputation as a serious-minded centrist. Then he talks about sex toys and lawsuits and black panthers and fungi for a while.

It's going to be a miserable four years everyone.

In a statement, Rosenberg extended an olive branch of sorts. "I congratulate those members newly elected to our board of directors," he said, "and I look forward to working closely with each of them.

"Now it's time to work in tandem on behalf of SAG members throughout the country, to get a fair contract we can all be proud of. A union divided benefits only the employers, and SAG members deserve nothing less than unified, focused leadership," he said.

Indeed — focus on this, bitches, hinted MemFirst spokeswoman and board member Anne-Marie Johnson: The Rosenberg gang still controls Hollywood, 37-18. The victors are having none of it, though; expect newly designated U4S henchman Assaf Cohen to fire back with his brother's withering official response by the end of the day.

• SAG members vote for change [THR]

• SAG Election Results [SAG]

A wail emerges from the cubby — guttural, vile, the kind of base animalistic shriek only heard at a family member's deathbed. 'Fuck these bitches,' screams Britney, each word ringing out between sobs. She's spitting, growling ... 'Fuck you, fuck people, fuck, fuck, fuck.'"

All this in just an excerpt? Forgive us if our schadenfreude is showing, but we're waking up at 7am on Friday, hungover or not, to get our hands on this one.

• THE TRAGEDY OF BRITNEY SPEARS [Rolling Stone]

Looking through Abedin's closet, you can see the progression from a young college graduate who wore Ann Taylor suits, thrilled to land a job as an intern in the White House, to, eleven years later, a Chanel-wearing, deeply confident 32-year-old woman whose BlackBerry contains some of the most famous names in America—she lets me look only if I agree not to say who. (I do manage to learn she has been close with actor John Cusack and Lance Armstrong.)

Hillary's Secret Weapon [Vogue, not online]
Hillary's Mystery Woman: Who Is Huma? [NYO]