Three hundred and forty-eight days ago, Kristin Cavallari promised the world a book. The tome would be both comprehensive and engaging; she said it would cover “really just everything in my life.” Now, another promise from Kristin:
The Republican presidential primary campaign is, to a large extent, a convention of white male fantasy enthusiasts. You say you can double economic growth, with magic? Well I can... triple it!
E! News reported Wednesday evening that recently-engaged youth Miley Cyrus will release an album before her wedding to fiancé Liam Hemsworth, who has one of the greatest Wikipedia page pictures it will ever be your pleasure to see.
We always hear about celebrities checking into rehab for their various addictions, expletive-laden tirades, or episodes of "exhaustion." Lindsay Lohan just checked in yesterday for the eighth time. Where do they disappear to while trying to get clean? Let's look.
The man appointed to handle a $20 billion oil spill compensation fund from BP, Kenneth R. Feinberg, yesterday told spill claimants, "No more beating up on BP." He also promised that personal claims would be processed in 48 hours. [LAT]
For the first time since his letter to Irish Catholics last month, Benedict mentioned the growing sex abuse scandal in his weekly address to the public in Vatican City. He didn't specify what action the church would take. [AP, Getty]
This spring, construction workers at Goldman Sachs' new headquarters in Battery Park City discovered a pregnant feral cat. A local couple rescued the kittens and placed them in homes. Goldman Sachs agreed to pay for their veterinary costs. They didn't.
At a fundraiser yesterday, VP Joe Biden tried, fruitlessly, to appease a gay community enraged by Barack Obama's not caring about their issues all that much. He is "not unaware of the controversy!"
Last month, San Franciscan literary figure Dave Eggers promised to personally email anyone who feared that print is dead, and cheer them up. He's done it! Here's your full Dave Eggers 'Print Lives' Reassurance Email:
Not long after we reported on Tara Reid getting free rehab at Promises, a rep for the rehab facility contacted us, took us into a quiet, seaside-adjacent massage room, and began a healing confrontation.
Though our wintry economic climate provides plenty of reasons to drink, it also leaves us with little money to spend on lavish, unhelpful rehab facilities. How bad have things gotten? Just look at Promises!
Promises, Passages, Wonderland: We'll forgive you if you can't seem to keep your celebrity rehab centers/resorts straight. The current issue of The New Yorker takes a look inside Wonderland, which is where Lindsay Lohan spent some time and where Mike Tyson spent more than a year. Wonderland isn't cheap—a private…
With its relaxing ocean vistas and its proximity to the area with highest density of well-monied, famous fuck-ups addicts on the planet, it's unsurprising that Malibu has become such a popular location for absurdly expensive drug rehabilitation centers, whose recent concentration in the welcoming beachside community…
Who could have imagined that a Lindsay Lohan DUI arrest (with the ever-popular "usable amount of cocaine" option), some embarrassing sleepy-time photos, and a hasty trip to Promises would generate so much media attention, even days later? We retreat into our defensive round-up posture to handle this morning's…
With Lindsay Lohan safely chained to a solid-gold radiator at Promises Malibu and the orderlies assigned to her care instructed never to spike her delicious wheatgrass-and-ipecac detox smoothies with Bacardi, no matter how extravagant the bribe offered, all Lohan coverage for the next 28 or so days will probably be…
