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more about #aporkalypsenow more comments → iplaudius: ... given the public attention on H1N1 ... ... which is, naturally, the only reason we put the damn banner on the box. #cereal more » TheBusinessGuy: If your child eats Cocoa Krispies, he surely won't catch swine flu, because he will die from diabetes before he can catch it. #cereal more » Spirit Fingers: So Frosted Mini-Wheats aren't really insulin? I totally thought I cold avoid diabetic shock from freebasing that sugar spackle they shellac onto that ... more » LatestBy: As long as that smug Nutella mom is still smearing that shit on whole wheat toast and high-fiving herself about the nutritious breakfast she's feeding... more » Banjo-Sea Kitten: I miss the days when they used to put real cocaine in Cocoa Krispies. #cereal more » misslinda: If anyone would like to join in my class action medical malpractice suit against Snap, Krackle and Pop, please contact me directly. #cereal more » Buttafooco: If I were an illegal immigrant, I'd also be very offended at that sort of false advertising. #cereal more » RheaPollstry: Glad I switched to the healthy goodness of Froot Loops. #cereal more » son of spam: Happy little bastards on that box. #cereal more » naugahydeinplainsight: Next you'll be telling me that Wonder Bread doesn't "Build Strong Bodies 12 Ways." #cereal more » boobookitt: Sooo, cancel the shipment of Cocoa Kripsies that was going to Goldman Sachs? #cereal more » Deric: It'll still cure your Snaps and Pops, just not your Crackles. #cereal more » Gazelle: All that sugar, partially hydrogenated oil and HFCS will certainly give your child's immune system a good workout, at least. more » FaceMelter: In other news, Snickers still fulfills hunger. #cereal more » Lymed: And I here I thought it was the cocoa in the Cocoa Kripies that boosted immunity. #cereal more » -
#marketing
Okay So Maybe Cocoa Krispies Don't Cure Swine Flu
Kindly Kellogg marketers have agreed to take the big huge banner that says "Helps your child's IMMUNITY" off boxes of Cocoa Krispies, but that doesn't mean that Cocoa Krispies is not basically superhealthy vitamins, for your family! More » -
#aporkalypsenow
Swine Flu Strikes Cats and Ferrets! What's Next?
If you were planning on taking a feline friend to Des Moines on a sightseeing trip to see whatever the hell is in Des Moines, stop. Cats (well cat, singular actually) there are being struck by the vicious porcine plague.
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#aporkaplysethen
The Great Swine Flu Pandemic of... Six Months Ago
According to the Times, a new CDC study says between 1.8 million and 5.7 million people were infected with swine flu this past spring. Quick: We must travel back in time and warn the past that they weren't panicking enough. -
#aporkalypsenow
Swine Flu Officially a Tool of Satan
The deadly Mexican Pig Flu's dirtiest deed yet: Coming between you and the literal body and blood of Christ. You will pay dearly for this, heathen microbe. More » -
#aporkalypsenow
Fall's Hottest Accessory: Swine Flu Vaccine
The good news: one shot of tasty swine flu vaccine is all it will take to save you from the dreaded pig virus this year! The bad news: All the medicine is going to special interests. More » -
#aporkalypsenow
Flu Prevention Now in Multimedia Form!
Back in 1918, when a flu epidemic brought America to its knees, there weren't many innovations in the way of germ-fighting tactics. Well, this is the 21st century, which means there are plenty of new, inventive ways to encourage prevention. More » -
#aporkalypsenow
Swine Flu Targets Colombian President
Like the Costa Rican president before him, Colombian president Alvaro Uribe has the fearsome swine flu. He came down with the symptoms during a meeting with regional leaders. Ha! And they're worried about the American military? [WaPo] -
#aporkalypsenow
We Have Swine Flu to Look Forward To
Right this very minute, trillions of deadly Mexican Pig Flu microbes are just cold chillin' in nooks and crannies somewhere, waiting for the fall flu season, when they will emerge and strike nearly 100,000 Americans dead. Say scientists! More » -
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#aporkalypsenow
Which World Leader Has Swine Flu Today?
The President of Costa Rica has swine flu. He vows to "carry out my work by telecommuting"—presumably from the Conde Nast building, which is the Pig Flu World Headquarters. His nation's only hope now: Flying Rabbis. -
#aporkalypsenow
Swine Flu at the National Geographic Society!
In a clear act of porcine aggression against our nation's geographers, the dreaded Mexican Pig Flu has struck the National Geographic Society. We have the memo. More » -
#aporkalypsenow
Stay Tuned for Sports, Traffic, and Swine Flu
The dreaded Mexican Pig Flu will be back. Oh yes. Of that, there is no question. A few months from now, you will wake up to hear daily Swine Flu Reports sandwiched between weather and traffic. Not a joke! More » -
#aporkalypsenow
Swine Flu Pandemic Is Here
Stop laughing at swine flu right this instant: the World Health Organization has just declared the first global flu pandemic in 41 years, meaning we're all just one mutation away from devastation: More » -
#nowtheytellus
Turns Out Like Everybody Had Swine Flu
Are you a resident of New York City? If you answered 'yes,' have you passed away in the last two months? Surely you have. Look to your left. Look to your right. Both of those people have swine flu! More » -
#aporkalypsenow
Swine Flu Strikes Glamour
It's spreading. Earlier this month, Vogue was infected with the deadly Mexican Pig Flu. Did you imagine that they could contain it? They could not. More » -
#aporkalypsenow
The Chinese Show Love For New Orleans, Quaratine Its Incompetent Mayor, Ray Nagin
In a move destined to improve US/China relations for years to come, the Chinese have quarantined woefully inept New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin after a passenger on his flight overseas showed symptoms of the H1N1 virus, popularly known as swine flu. More » -
#aporkalypsenow
Swine Flu Panic: Over
Two more New Yorkers with swine flu have died. Why isn't there a fresh round of PANIC? Because it looks like the worst is over. And we're not all dead! More » -
#aporkalypsenow
Swine Flu Panic Paralyzes Horace Mann
Horace Mann, New York's most Gossip Girl-esque private school, is closing due to SWINE FLU fears. If there's one way to revive the city's panic, it's getting private school parents involved! Update: Read the memo. More » -
#breaking
Swine Flu Hits Village Voice
Everyone has stopped caring about the Swine Flu, except at still-publishing O.G. alt-weekly The Village Voice, where an intern was just diagnosed with it! More » -
#aporkalypsenow
Fear of Swine Flu Making People Try to Catch Swine Flu
Oh, delicious, bacony irony: The news media have created such a panicked frenzy over swine flu that some people are now considering deliberate infection, so as to avoid DEADLY accidental infection. More »
