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more about #champions more comments → rubyruby: There's a CDC initiative out there to get kids to cut their sugar / HFCS- sweetened beverages by 5% per year, or four gallons per year. That math mea... more » Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate: Those pants are why Fat Bastard wears a kilt. #fitness more » Claire Buoyant: That cigar in his left hand just really completes the picture. #fitness more » Richard Petty Bourgeoisie: I think I saw the bigger fella on that program where they show footage from a mini night vision camera that's pointing up from inside a toilet to show... more » scroll_lock: You can redeem two six packs of the new Coke cans for $10 off a coronary bypass at participating cardiologists. #fitness more » scroll_lock: Black socks would be much more slimming to his legs. Also, from the waist down he's shaped like that Heart monster on Bugs Bunny. #fitness more » Thatcornellguy: from a distance the fat man kind of looks like a hot fudge sundae. #fitness more » goetz: Do these soda cans come in black, with vertical stripes? #fitness more » Tremonius: I used to consume one solid quart of gelato, but not at one sitting. Heavens, no. I would scoop it out for a while, stand up, sit down, continuing sco... more » Swifter: The only "news" topic Americans really care about any more is innovative ways to lose weight and become superhuman athletic "champions," in order to g... more » RollsRoyceRevenge: He has too much facial hair at present. And he is wearing too many clothes. That is all. more » lobstr: Oh.. the slimy uncooked bacon is a sight to behold too. Subway.. eat fresh™! more » lobstr: Three immortal words that can cause instant regurgitation.. Seafood and Crab. One look at their little bin of sea random does the trick, no need to b... more » Cicada: Doesn't Michael Phelps have to eat 12,000 calories per day while in training? That works out to ~30 Subway sandwiches. I just threw up a little. more » kathotdog: Commercials that show me food make me hungry.Commercials that show people eating food make me ill.I've never been able to figure out why. more » -
#trendwatch
America Pursues Fitness Through Pseudoscience
The only "news" topic Americans really care about any more is: Innovative ways to lose weight and become superhuman athletic "champions," in order to get sex. Alas, we only try to achieve this by scientifically repackaging snack foods. And perfume. More » -
#champions
Marijuana Smoker Lands Fast Food Job
While you were all just hanging out last weekend swimming in a pool and smoking weed, Michael Phelps was being quietly reintroduced as a pitchman for Subway. More » -
#laffs
Jokey Yokel Lawman Wows Locals
Heroic bong-fighting Sheriff Leon Lott, who made Richland County, South Carolina safe from Olympic champion Michael Phelps and his criminal associates, had a little fun down at the ol' Rotary Club yesterday! More » -
