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more about #death more comments → SarahHeartburn: My myopic eyes aided by 5 year old scratched bifocals read "Mike Huckabee was killed by Seattle cops this morning." Don't get my hopes up, OK? more » Swifter: Justice delivered. more » Mount_Prion: On Monday, officers detained a sister of Clemmons who they think treated the suspect's gunshot wound. "We believe she drove him up to Seattle and ban... more » Lysergic Asset: "A Seattle police patrolman working by himself in the hours before dawn..." I'm not buying it. Where was Mike Huckabee? Enquiring® minds want to k... more » BookishLookish: As my grandmother would say, "Uch, the goyim." more » Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate: "...led Lender's to sell its frozen bagels pre-sliced, even before they hit the Midwest in the 1970s." Nice! Of course the South doesn't have this pr... more » Smitros: How about hot grits-related injuries, or getting thumped with a ham hock? more » blix: It's lunchtime. Let's be safe out there. more » Spirit Fingers: Was going to wax poetic about the type of grandiose idiot who can't slice a bagel until I remembered cutting three out of five fingers opening a packa... more » Understater: I've never in my life cut my finger while slicing a bagel. I feel so alienated. more » pureblarney: I'm sad to hear about what happens to these turkeys. Shame on Disney... I hope they take better care of their other animals. But on a much happier not... more » SkinnyNerd: Why didn't he bow? more » naugahydeinplainsight: Something delightfully Chamber of Commercey about the way most powerful man in the world, the President of the United States, gives a plug to "thank J... more » thatblackgirl: He is such a nerd. Happy Thanksgiving everybody! more » MrInBetween: TURKEY: GOBBLE GOBBLE PALIN: There you go. TURKEY: GOBBLE GOBBLE GOB--AAAAACKKKKKK! more » -
#death
The alleged cop killer pardoned by Mike Huckabee was killed by Seattle cops this morning.
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#danger
"Bagel-related injuries are exceeded only by chicken, potato, apple and onion injuries." Knowledge is power.
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#thanksgiving
Obama Sends Turkey to Die in California
After a hilarious speech, President Obama pardoned the first turkey of his administration, continuing this delightful tradition that should probably be ended, immediately. More » -
#justice
Andrea Peyser Hopes Ugly Fat Lady Just Dies
If you're a sexxxy lady, reactionary New York Post sex columnist Andrea Peyser will rhapsodize about your long, smooth legs. But if you're an ugly, fat, liberal lady (by Peyser standards), Andrea Peyser wishes you death. Lonely, ugly, fat death. More » -
#death
Former Jay-Z bodyguard killed by cops. Hip hop still far less dangerous than the NYPD.
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#rumors
Killing Them Softly: The ______ Is Dead Twitter Meme
If the New York Times' The Moment blog and its Twitter feed "hear" that Moz is dead, does it actually happen? Former Idolator editor Maura Johnston writes: "This inspired a lot of panicked e-mails to me late last night." Why? More » -
#health
Cancer: All your fault.
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#journalismism
Detroit: Murder Murder Murder, Kill Kill Kill
Rugged personality-possessing newspaperman Charlie LeDuff can typically be found roaming Detroit in search of frozen hobo bodies and colorful raccoon hunters. Today, he has a more serious topic: Enough violence to make you...well, never want to go to Detroit. More » -
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#death
Thatcher Dead!
The cat! We mean the cat! Sorry, we didn't mean to confuse you, Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper. We just had no idea Canada was so gullible! More » -
#rants
No, That Is Not Anthrax
So far this week, the UN missions of six separate countries have been temporarily shut down and decontaminated because they received envelopes full of flour in the mail. This whole "anthrax" thing is overrated. More » -
#science
Dudes With Fancy Water Bottles Have the Hardest Penii
Hippie yupsters have always been like, "I don't use plastic water bottles cause their chemicals cause cancer," or whatever, and we just laugh at them, but it turns out those people are the ones with the best erections. More » -
#death
Williamsburg Drummer Dies in Freak Accident
Gerhardt Fuchs, a 34 year-old drummer in bands including !!! and Maserati, fell to his death in a Williamsburg elevator shaft last weekend in a horrifying hoodie-related accident.
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#weekinreview
The Week We Were All Glenn Beck's Appendix
This week was all about gun violence and terrible elections and Jay Leno. More » -
#breaking
1 Confirmed Dead in Florida Mass Shooting, Shooter In Custody
With possibly 8 people shot and 2 dead (authorities confirm 1 dead and 5 shot), police have locked down downtown Orlando, Florida, looking for Jason Rodriguez, who shot up an office building earlier today. Update: Rodriguez has been apprehended. More » -
#kittykitty
PETA Protects Cat to Death
Pity poor Lydia Netzer, who lived next door to the PETA intern house outside DC. Pity Lydia Netzer's cat even more. The PETA interns finally good-intentioned it to death. More » -
#death
Dead Body in NYU Library (Updated)
An unidentified male was found dead in NYU's Bobst Library this morning. NYU has an unfortunately well-earned reputation as a hub of student suicides: Six in 2004, five in 2005. UPDATE: Letter from NYU President confirming suicide, below. [WSN] More » -
#heroes
Wal-Mart Assists Consumers With Affordable End-of-Life Accoutrements
Wal-Mart is now offering coffins for sale on their website, at reasonable prices. The winner here: Consumers, who can save hundreds or thousands of dollars by buying their coffins at Walmart.com. Once again, Wal-Mart's low prices help American families save. More » -
#finalexit
Now is the Time to Book Your Swiss Suicide Vacation
This might be your final chance to take advantage of the services of Dignitas, the notorious Swiss "suicide clinic" that helps clients gracefully exit the crapfest we call "life". Swiss lawmakers are considering a ban on all suicide tourism. More » -
#curses
Billionaire Killed By Stress of Madoff Money
Billionaire investor Jeffry Picower—who made billions off of Bernie Madoff's Ponzi scheme—was found dead in his (expensive) pool Sunday. Murder??? Well, the coroner doesn't want you to think so. But clearly, Madoff's money has a deadly curse. More » -
#death
Billionaire Madoff Beneficiary Dies Mysteriously
Billionaire investor Jeffry Picower made more money off Bernie Madoff's Ponzi scheme than any other investor. Yesterday, Picower was found dead in his Palm Beach swimming pool. Let's not jump to any conclusions.
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