• more about #forensics more comments →
    Steverino Begins: He will appear exactly as he always wanted to appear. In other words, when Liz Taylor dies they'll need to wear nametags. more »
    scroll_lock: As for Hell, everyone who died in the 70's has avocado appliances and curling iron bewinged hair like Mariah Carey wore at Jackson's memorial service.... more »
    The Real JR: So basically the question is does Heaven operate on Darwinism or LeMarckism? That will blow some Creationists' minds. more »
    Thatcornellguy: this would also assume that he never had vitiligo either, right? more »
    HurtsSoGood: If you went to Heaven with your decrepit body as it was when you died, it wouldn't be Heaven, would it? I say you get to choose. I want the Greek go... more »
    son of spam: I don't know about physical form in heaven but I know about physical place, which is you're not going to be in the best seat. Jesus is hogging that one. more »
    BxgrlJeri: Is Helen Keller blind? Does Marie Antoinette have her head? And what about the ability to accessorize? more »
    ChillbearLatrigue: I have it on good authority that while you are processing you get to choose up to five different looks. It's kind of like selecting from thumbnail opt... more »
    raincoaster: "Using childhood photo's of Michael and knowledge on basic aging trends, forensic artists constructed a portrait of how Michael would have looked at a... more »
    Pope John Peeps II: Looks an ironic amount like Martin Bashir: more »
    Foster Kamer: Hello God, are you there? It's me, shapeshifter. more »
    Mick: I'd take my Jackson up till the Thriller album. After that, the destruction of his face was just too much for my brain to comprehend or care about. more »
    Claire Buoyant: Or does God let us choose which physical form we'd like to take when we arrive? Well, the Internet lets you choose your own avatar, so in that respec... more »
    CumaeanSibyl: A true gentleman knows how to help one lady down a set of steps while checking out another lady's derriere. Such class! more »
    Drunken Economist: I only have two things to say. One, some of you really need to get out of the USA. Sixteen is the age of consent in a number of western countries, eve... more »
  • #forensics

    Nature/Culture Blog Asks: 'How Will Michael Jackson Appear in Heaven?'

    Since Michael Jackson died you've probably lost sleep wondering, "I wonder what he'd have looked if he hadn't f-ed himself all up with plastic surgery?" Well now, thanks to the work of some forensic artists, you can know. More »
  • #forensics

    A Frame-by-Frame Analysis of Obama's Alleged Ass-Peek

    ABC News has come up with video purporting to prove that Barack Obama did not lasciviously check out a woman's ass in Rome yesterday. We undertook a Zapruder treatment and determined that he probably did, but had no choice. More »