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more about #internalexis more comments → 1sfollowedby0s: I had a friend at the Bhagat wedding who wouldn't shut up about it. This sounds like a real contender for long-term win. Apparently they had a Nobel... more » Phyllis Nefler: Small victories: in the print edition (couldn't find it online) they ran a correction for their misspelling of wheaten terrier, which I POINTED OUT IN... more » ms_priestypants: So the take away from this week is that I need to become a single parent in order to online date successfully? more » Foster Kamer: Ha ha, like how he "received a Ph.D. in applied mathematics from Brown." Fuck yeah he did! This is the dirtiest joke I've read in a while. more » MattGaymon: I'm trying to think what store in "Noho" he bought his blazer at. Le Chateau? No way. Nom de Guerre? Difficult to navigate with a stroller. Atriu... more » adiam7: Are Chloé Miller's parents of Chloé Millerand Hans Noel in the witness protection program- so vague She is the daughter of Melabee M. Miller and ... more » adiam7: I misread Adam Levine and Jansen Wu as Jason Wu. I had visions of Maroon 5 and Michelle Obama. My fave line thus far, I have a few more couples to go... more » RachelSklar: Oh my God "Phyllis" really outdid herself this week. This is DELICIOUS on every level and I don't even read the vows section. BTW: I will NEVER have E... more » adiam7: I so love the wedding section, the gems that are tucked in those announcements are priceless. I am glad to see I am not the only one.The casually thro... more » friend_of_a_friend: Totally unfair on the part of the editors to let Lily be in the picture with Sebastian/Lavi. She's too cute!! If I were a straight who submitted my ... more » miss_msry: RE: Marshall/Landis wedding. Did all the guests track toilet paper down the aisle on their shoes? more » Phyllis Nefler: In other news, I really want someone to keep a running record of the search terms that Foster uses to find the main Altarcations image every Sunday. more » son of spam: It sucks when you go trolling for a famous person to take part in your wedding and all you can catch is David Dinkins. more » ThatMother-Chucker: I'd also be interested to know just just how someone who only graduates cum laude from Tulane gets into HARVARD FREAKING LAW. more » pureblarney: Phyllis, have I ever mentioned how much I love you? I'm buying stock in Altarcations. more » -
#altarcations
Scoring Sunday's Nuptials: The Kerry/Dubya Rivalry, Extended
Do you remember the bloody battle between Dubya and Kerry? Phyllis Nefler does. So do the NYT's bitchy Weddings & Celebrations editors, who love a juicy broadsheet when they can make one. The battle royale continues. Also, look: meerkats! More » -
#altarcations
Scoring Sunday's Nuptials: Of Mustache Rides and Moneyed Marriage
Altarcations are birthing friendships from our loins. Wonder if Phyllis Nefler will help this week's NYT Weddings & Celebrations elite fraternize over love of pervy facial hair and difficulties paying for pricey gay marriages. Bonds: we make them happen. More » -
#altarcations
Scoring Sunday's Nuptials: Consider the Doorman
Lots of people who thought they were marrying into money: screwed. People like Phyllis Nefler, who will marry into awesomeness: better off. In this week's NYT's Weddings & Celebrations, a few people actually do that. But remember: Harvard. Always. Wins. More » -
#altarcations
Scoring Sunday's Nuptials: Let Them Eat Brooklyn Hipster Cake Toppers
Phyllis Nefler eats lots of cake, emotionally and otherwise. She's yet to meet her dream cake—which probably comes from B.C. and rhymes with "shmooberry sush"—but it's out there. NYT's Weddings & Celebrations, help us find it. More » -
#altarcations
Scoring Sunday's Nuptials: Old People Like To Do It, Too
Gawker Weekend's Wedding Maven, Phyllis Nefler, please, tell us: will we have to wait until we're old and wrinkly to find matrimonial bliss? The NYT'sNilla SectionWeddings & Celebrations seems to think so. Depends, off, biological clocks, on. More » -
#altarcations
Scoring Sunday's Nuptials: Creative Types' Weddings War Over Ivy-Strewn Battlegrounds
The NYT Weddings & Celebrations are a place for the hoi polloi to GTFO, not for artsy-fartsies "making" things other than Exeter-bound offspring and family mergers. Phyllis Nefler investigates the recent rash of ridiculousness: let those fuckers eat wedding cake! More » -
#altarcations
New York Times Needs to Stop Messing with Psychotic Wedding Fetishists, Now
WTF? The New York Times made a huge "teachable moment" in this weekend's weddings, and we got tipped off to it! Phyllis Nefler, who polices the mean streets of the Weddings & Celebrations, is on the case. Sick 'em, Phyllis. More » -
#altarcations
Phish Phan's Weekapaug Wedding A Sign Of Things To Come
In August, it ain't where you're from, it's what wedding you're at. Not getting married/watching other people get married? Then you're probably single, friendless, or me. Enter Phyllis Nefler and the NYT Weddings & Celebrations to help ease/exacerbate our pain. More » -
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#altarcations
Cult-Officiated Weddings Are Sweaty, Pickled Affairs
If marriage is an institution, Phyllis Nefler is the McMurphy to the Nurse Ratchet of the Sunday NYT Weddings & Celebrations, editor Robert Woletz. Contained herein: deodorant, Seinfeld, cults, MENSA, and wonderful/bad vagina jokes. On bended knee, Altarcations is back. More » -
#altarcations
Things That Involve Brides And Paul Revere That Do Not Involve Whiffle Ball Bats
Apologies to MCA: get better, man. NOW here's a little story/I'd like to tell/about one Phyllis Nefler/you know so well/she rocks the W & C of Sunday's NYT/And she's about to kick/a little history... More » -
#altarcations
These Weddings Have Been Certified By The Ministry Of Awesomely Spiritual Garages, Inc.
Get out your Nikes and Kool-Aid, and drink up: Phyllis Nefler's serving a tall, cool glass of a special weirdo religion version of the Weddings and Celebrations section of the Sunday NYT. Also, successful matchup by Samuel L. Jackson! More » -
#holymatrimonyshit
The Secret Cultlike Rituals Behind NYT's Sunday "Weddings and Celebrations": Revealed!
Something incredible happened. The New York Times' ombudsman opened the lid on the Illuminati-esque processes behind a personal passion, the Sunday Styles' Weddings and Celebrations. Tell us: is there only upper-crust elitism at their core? And did he mention us?!
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#altarcations
Existential Despair, Heartbreak, and Fireworks: The Emotional Arson Of The New York Times
That's not Frank Oz's hand up Phyllis Nefler's ass; it's a stick called the Weddings and Celebrations section of the Sunday NYT. Today, she realizes the evil, dark magic contained within them. Presenting your July 4th Weekend edition of Altarcations: More » -
#altarcations
The Inevitable Fate Of Amanda Congdon's Glorious Rack
It doesn't matter if you're black or white. Or gay or straight. What matters is that you're single, and the happy couples of the Weddings and Celebrations section of the Sunday NYT aren't. Professional P.Y.T. Phyllis Nefler's on the case: More » -
#altarcations
Shot Through The Heart
It's 9:30 PM, do you know where your biological clock is? Phyllis Nefler does. It's somewhere in the Weddings and Celebrations section of the Sunday 'New York Times,' and TICKING LIKE THIS. Pledge Phy Nef and watch the score: More » -
#altarcations
The Chilean Ski Slopes Are Alive with the Sound of Music
Each week, the Weddings and Celebrations section of the Sunday 'New York Times' features twos becoming ones and halves becoming wholes and reminds you how poor/lonely/lost you are; to help, we score them! Your host is chronic bouquet-catcher and numerologist Phyllis Nefler. More » -
#altarcations
Scoring Sunday Nuptials: Her Daddy Made Me Do It
We're bringing back a Gawker tradition of yore: scoring the highfalutin', inferiority-complex inflating Weddings and Celebrations section of the Sunday 'New York Times.' Your host? High-society mole, street anthropologist, and all-around lady: Phyllis Nefler. More »
