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more about #stocks more comments → Uncle_Billy_Slumming: The plebes are falling for it... commodity bubble is growing. Faster than you can say "executive order 6102" your shiny metals will be reduced to tox... more » freedc: You can't collect insurance on a suicide, the insurance companies won't pay out and if they even suspect it, you'll be in court trying to get the poli... more » krismry: I know you were just kidding around, but a nice servicey gentle reminder would be to note that no more than 25 percent of your investments ought to be... more » WordyNinja: Or, I don't know, legalize pot. The taxes collected on it could get us out of debt without touching anyone's income, not to mention the boost to the ... more » If_I_Had_a_Poodle: Blacksmiths probably felt much the same way 100 years ago. #newspapers more » SecureLocation: I hear the halls of RD headquarters ijn Pleasantville are emptier than Dick Cheney's heart more » BxgrlJeri: I had an aunt who worked for Reader's Digest when I was a kid and she said it was a great place to work. I only remember a lot (a whole lot) of shark... more » If_I_Had_a_Poodle: i never thought much about reader's digest always being in my grandparents' house until i went back as an adult and read it -- really fringe rightwing... more » TheBusinessGuy: Layoffs: The Best Medicine more » A Message To Rudy: I hope Joe's Kidney can find work. more » TedSez: It no longer pays to increase your word power. more » onebadclam: I understand the Reader's Digest pink slips were incredibly concise. more » Swordfish: So do the layoffs at CN mean that they're going to unload a couple of dozen of those VF "Contributing Editors" who get paid a handsome sum each month ... more » miss_msry: I can only pray my 401K isn't jumping on the "newspapers are back" bandwagon. more » MrInBetween: The metaphor is perfection -- the Paterson, N.J. bull escaped from the slaughterhouse. The Wall Street bull won't be so fortunate. more » -
#recessionomics
A Plan to Get All the Money America Needs to Pay Back, With Only Minimal Loss of Life
The Way We Live Now: Solution-oriented. Problem: We're hundreds of billions of dollars in debt. Solution: Hoard gold, buy life insurance, and kill ourselves. More » -
#moneymatters
Don't Invest in Newspapers
You may be aware that deathly newspaper company stocks have experienced a brief resurgence recently, amidst speculation that things aren't so bad after all for the newspaper industry. If you benefited from this resurgence at all, lucky you. Now sell. More » -
#mediacrack
Rumor: Layoffs at Reader's Digest (Updated)
In your maudlin Wednesday media column: rumors of Reader's Digest layoffs [Update: And RD's response], a guarantee of Conde Nast layoffs, and the debate over the newspaper industry is one-sided, to be honest. More » -
#recessionomics
Pay No Attention to the Bulls Literally Rampaging Through Urban Streets
The Way We Live Now: Rootin-tootin! Hot as a tamale! The market is booming! Stocks are soaring! Investors are throwing, literally, packets of money, as projectiles! They hit companies and companies merge together! Bulls are running the streets! Dangerously! More » -
#recessionomics
We Don't Know What We're Doing, We're Just Buying Things
The Way We Live Now: Always forgetting. We're back into stocks! We're back to buying art! We're...poor! Statistics prove it. But we already forgot. Live it up, for tomorrow you may die of something weird. More » -
#recessionomics
Sell! Borrow! Succeed!
The Way We Live Now: Sell! Sell! Sell! Sell it all! Sell it off! Take! Take the money out! Take it! Sorry. Just had to dump stocks from that "rally," ha. Anyhow: loan sharks are back! More » -
#mediacrack
Successful Writer Feels Not So Successful
In your perennial Tuesday media column: It still sucks to be a writer, sucks if you bought a newspaper, sucks to make stock picks, sucks to produce news on television, and somebody got a new job! More » -
#newspapers
Who Will Save the NYT From its Saviors?
So far the possible financial saviors of the New York Times are a shady Mexican billionaire, a shady Hollywood billionaire, and a plan to give free t-shirts to anyone who donates. Anyone see a problem? More » -
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#videuhoh
Jim Cramer Friday Freakout!
Haha, maniac stockpicker Jim Cramer will not stand for some "rational" investment guy demeaning Cramer's failed stockpicking ways right on his own network. Instead he'll just break into the man's interview, ranting and shouting! More » -
#mediacrack
Politico: Friggin' Pansies
In your sad, macho Thursday media column: Boston Globe anger, broke-ass papers resign themselves to advertorial disgrace, media money evaporates, and let's all laugh at Politico: More » -
#stocks
Jim Cramer Getting Wronger
Congratulations to Jim Cramer for reiterating his call for investors to pull all their money from the market on the Today Show this morning, just hours before the Dow rallied for a 5.8% gain. -
#stocks
Barack Obama, Stock Analyst
Our Wonky President could do just about anything, right? So no one blinked an eye when Barack Obama morphed into Henry Blodget and started spouting off about price-to-earnings ratios. In other words, buy stocks now! More » -
#wallstreet
Stocks Kick Off Mid-'90s Throwback Tour
Whenever you think it's about as bad as it can get, it gets worse. The Dow finished the trading day at 6,763, its lowest level since 1997. How low can it go? More » -
#media
New York Times Co. Suspends its Dividend
The New York Times Co. just announced that it's suspending its dividend. Its dividend per share will now be zero cents. What does this mean? That it sucks to be a Sulzberger, for one. More » -
#videuhoh
CNBC Anchors Totally Speechless Over Market Crash
The stock market closed down almost 300 points today, almost equaling its November low point. CNBC anchors have been so flustered all day that they can barely speak English, as this clip illustrates. More » -
#wallstreet
Oh Shoot the Stock Market's Collapsing Again
Crapola, wouldn't you know it, today on Wall Street the stock market is nearing its lowest level in the past decade. But look on the bright side: More » -
#updates
Recession Winners Win
Last month we predicted ten companies and industries that would actually come out as recession winners (crazy, right?). It's time to check on how our predictions are doing! (Hint: f'in awesome): More » -
#stocks
On Happy Day, Stock Market Is Still Down
Famed business non-expert Rachel Maddow says every time Obama opens his mouth, the stock market goes up. That didn't happen today. The Dow is down more than 210 points and just above 8,000. More » -
#trendalert
Disgraced stockpickers picking stocks
If the government hasn't investigated you, why should anyone listen to your stock tips? That's the lesson of three Wall Street chatterboxes who once faced SEC scrutiny — and are now bigger in the stock-talk business than ever.
