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more about #studies more comments → RaptorAvatar: Unfortunately, carrying a water bottle everywhere like some kind of tumorized keychain makes me look like too much of a dork to attract a mate anyways... more » keverdene: The plural of penis is actually "penes." I swear I am not making that up. I went to graduate school. So, you know, fix that headline. #erections more » Jes St.Lawrence: Right. Like the world needs THAT GUY to have priapism. The stuff of your dreams, right girls? And by dreams I mean the kind of nightmares that make... more » Richard Petty Bourgeoisie: If you wanna take away my BPA-laced drinking container, you'll have to pry it off my cold, flaccid penis!!! more » bytememehard: My dog is healthy as an ox, gets an erection at the drop of a pheromone, and drinks water straight from the toilet. I'm going to start following his l... more » morninggloria: Maybe their robust erections are what allowed them to get rich enough to afford fancy schmancy water bottles in the first place. #erections more » Spirit Fingers: But some of them are so frail from ingesting soybeans and re-purified air. How can they all be schlong-hounds? It looks like it takes a mighty effort ... more » senatormayer: So I should drink bottled water to get unstuck from this damned gloryhole? #erections more » mediachore: um, the bike rack maybe not so much. [www.medicalnewstoday.com] #erections more » i'm a bottle: Hamilton, I were your Latin teacher, you'd have recieved a sharp slap on your wrist with a ruler for declining a singular masculine i-declension noun ... more » manchops: somebody please forward a link to this to the producer of Levi's photo shoot. Like, now? #erections more » iplaudius: This would explain why the REI in Chelsea is a 24/7 bathhouse. #erections more » Terrafractal: Is this why I like older men? They drank less bottled water in their youth and aren't hormonally confused pussies like the hoodie-bearers of my genera... more » TellMeLies: Maybe you can look past the North Face jacket, I cannot. #erections more » DennyCrane: Note To Self: Buy fancy non-BPA water bottles. Also, grow beard and drop 25 pounds. #erections more » -
#science
Dudes With Fancy Water Bottles Have the Hardest Penii
Hippie yupsters have always been like, "I don't use plastic water bottles cause their chemicals cause cancer," or whatever, and we just laugh at them, but it turns out those people are the ones with the best erections. More » -
#sexyscience
Catholic Dude Jealous of Sexy Study
Duke University sponsored a study on female students' attitudes towards sex toys, which the director of the Duke Catholic Center worried would encourage the young women to "just sit around and masturbate." Do studies really do that? Awesome. [Katie Drummond] -
#studies
Study: Conservatives Live In Fun Alternate Reality
When reporting on things said and done by the incredibly vocal minority of angry white people who make up the Republican base, one should always remember that their "reality" is different from ours. James Carville has proven this, with science! More » -
#studies
Science: Learning to juggle improves your brain. But probably not your sex life.
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#sweetscience
Candy Kids Kill
If you give your kids candy they'll end up in jail, scientists have now proven. More » -
#science
College Kids Maintaining, Bro
The Journal of Studies on Alcohol and Drugs—the most popular journal—found that the binge-drinking and unprotected sex habits of students at America's drunkest colleges has barely changed since the early 90s. So what's the problem, right? High-five. [JSAD] -
#science
Nine Out of Ten Drunks Deny Driving
How many of you are "binge drinkers," meaning you had five drinks in a night once last month? (All you drunks raise your hands). Now, how many of you drove after getting wasted? (Pause). Liars! Science knows. More » -
#science
Scientist Thinks He's Better Than You Cause You Drink, Is That It?
Wet-brained scientists have discovered that long-term alcoholics may misread the emotional cues that people project with their facial expressions. And how! More » -
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#tooeasy
'PR Pros Ethical Thinkers,' Lie PR Pros
A new study from a PR industry-connected research group has definitively proven that PR people are nearly as moral as dental students. Which has to be pretty good, no? More » -
#hobbies
You Are Now a Birdwatcher
"A federal study indicates one of every five U.S. citizens was involved in birdwatching during 2006, contributing $36 billion to the nation's economy," says the UPI. Oh yea? Bullshit. Saw a bird, maybe. More » -
#science
It Is Impossible to Convince the Bitters That Barack Obama Is Not a Muslim
10% of Americans still believe Barack Obama is a Muslim. And here is the fun bit: a new study suggests that attempts to correct that misperception only reinforce it. More » -
#inthisdayandage
Cigarettes Are Racist!
They already ruined coffee and now your smokes are white supremacists??? "[People] with the most melanin were found to smoke the most...and to have the highest level of dependence on tobacco." The conspiracies are real! -
#science
Study Suggests Liberal Media Read Liberal Media
Here is a breaking survey that you will probably hear about: people who read blogs find them to be informational! Oh, wait, here's the controversial bit: journalists only read liberal blogs. More » -
#drugs
Cocaine Going to Hell Like Everything Else
The recession wants you to stop doing coke, Sniffy Smith. In Europe, at least, coke prices are up, purity is down, and you've spent half your paycheck on a bag that's 91% "pet worming powder." More » -
#history
Van Gogh: Action Hero
Everyone knows Vincent Van Gogh cut his ear off and gave it to a prostitute because he was kind of pathetic. But a new study suggests Van Gogh might've been awesome! More » -
#hellboundnations
Liberal Media Kills Jesus?
Oh look, a new study perfect for supporting any old opinion! Pew researchers found that half of American adults switch religion at least once—Catholics, out of conviction, and Protestants, out of laziness. Theory! More » -
#screenheads
What Kind of Media Zombie Are You?
A fascinating new study of American media consumption provides many insights, but they can all be summed up as: 20-somethings are sexting, 30-somethings are nerds, 40-somethings are online wingnuts, and we're all fucking zombies. More » -
#advertising
Science: You Love Commercials
Pop culture scientists are now telling us that commercials actually make television more enjoyable. "The findings are simultaneously implausible and empirically coherent." That's what I'm saying! But we have detected some wackiness in this study: More » -
#science
Drunk Girls Will Get Cancer
Well I reckon if they found out that jerking off gives men cancer, then it's only fair that they also found out that drinking gives women cancer. Thanks science! More » -
#science
Rich are Rude, Poor are Nice. But Still Poor.
Have you always thought that rich people are jerks? Perhaps that's because of the fact that science has just proved: Rich people are jerks. More »
