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more about #threats more comments → lobstr: I never thought I'd ever say this sentence, either out loud or in print: "Yeah, but, Mr. Squiggles has been found to contain antimony..." [www.star-... more » GlasgowRose: I'm one vodka tonic away from becoming a Zhu Zhu foster mother. more » ampersandparade: I think aspirational consumerism is the most hilarious joke that capitalism has played on me in my lifetime, and in this situation I find it even more... more » Matt Cherette: NGL, I kind of want one. Does that make me 12? Or just really hip? Or neither? I'm gonna go with neither. more » raincoaster: When they start to breed with Furbys, they will take over the Earth. more » fatmonalisa: Yeah, but does lube wash out of the fur? Richard Gere wants to know. more » Spirit Fingers: As a Sci-Fi geek of magnificent magnitude the obsession with zombies is in my opinion the fear of being brainless as opposed to soulless. Losing human... more » BadUncle: Even if you claim to be an atheist or, damnation, agnostic, isn't the real scare in zombie lore that someone — a person with friends and family — ... more » miss_msry: I thought Matthew McConaughey was the bongo playing stoner. Woody is just your regular every day movie star stoner. Andrew, all your base belonsky to... more » Uncle_Billy_Slumming: So the zombies we've been hearing about for the past few years on the internet... who started it? Where does this theme come from? Video games? more » Unsolicited Advice: I don't think "loyalty" is a soul - most unsentimental black-hearted folks like myself refer to that as a "memory." Yes, it would suck if the memory-... more » wrongneighborhood: I wish I was kidding, but the AP wrote this yesterday" "Fla. college ready for flesh-eating zombie attack" [www.google.com] more » RandomLunatic: "A website called Cracked?" Seriously, dude? Cracked.com, the funny, last living vestige of the magazine that many of us considered Mad Magazine witho... more » skahammer: Sure, lavishing all this attention on Zombies is fun...until you realize that it's giving Creepy Twins an unearned pass. more » TRexstasy: Unorganized militia's Goddamn it Andrew, learn to use a fucking apostrophe. What junior high study hall did Denton recruit you out of again? more » -
#threats
The Plot to Take Down America: Zhu Zhu Christmas Hamsters AKA "Mister Squiggles"
You thought the foreign agent that'd attempt to bring down American would be named something more discreet (or cooler) than "Mister Squiggles," didn't you? Hence, the ingenious of it all. Mister Squiggles is here, and he wants to destroy us. More » -
#trendwatch
On Mankind's Maybe Doomed Love for the Undead
Woody Harrelson recently took some time from banging his bongos to make a big Hollywood movie. It's called Zombieland and deals with the undead, a solid cinematic device. Should we be worried? Yes. But what of the soul's role?
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#threats
Is "American Police Force" the Next Great Militia?
Think things in America can't get any more unsettling? Well, you're wrong. Meet the American Police Force, which will soon take over a Montana jail that once asked to house Guantanamo inmates. And, shocker, they're shady as hell. Let's look...
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#mistakes
Dudes Buying Fancy Beds
Just trying to be a normal xenophobic American man these days means constantly fighting back against The System (ladies, etc.) telling us to buy fancy shampoo and fancy underwear, so, hey fellas, do not buy more fancy crap by choice. More » -
#townhallcrazies
It's All Fun and Games Until Someone Gets Shot
Another proud American has shown up at Barack Obama town hall openly carrying a gun. This time it's in Arizona, and he's carrying an assault rifle and a pistol, which is fucking legal!?!?! More » -
#threats
Violent Militia Groups Spreading Rapidly
The AP has a report out tonight containing some sobering but entirely predictable information: according to ATF sources, militia groups concentrated in the South, Midwest and Northwest are growing rapidly as wild conspiracy theories fuel the spread of paranoia. More » -
#threats
Let's Just Say It: We're Scared Someone's Going to Try to Kill Barack Obama
MSNBC just aired video of a man with a pistol strapped to his leg waiting for Barack Obama to arrive at a townhall in New Hampshire. More » -
#publicrelations
Threatening Bloggers Via Text Message: Not Savvy PR
An actor named Kevin Byrd sent a bad, self-composed press release to reporters, which one of them posted on Facebook. A PR blogger picked it up to point out how bad it was. That's when Kevin Byrd came unhinged. More » -
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#threats
Terrorist In Manhattan!
Lock and load, New Yorkers. A terrorist has just entered the island of Manhattan. We also have a pirate here, and Bernie Madoff, cause we are the baddest, yea! But seriously, a terrorist is here, to kill you. More » -
#threats
This Week In Crazy Assassination Threats
Crazy people of America: stop telling everyone that you're going to kill prominent politicians! We know you're too dumb and crazy to do it, but the Feds don't! More » -
#crazies
Newspaper Really, Really Didn't Mean to Offend Gun Nuts
The Memphis Commercial-Appeal posted on its website a publicly available list of citizens who have concealed weapons permits. Did this cause gun nuts to go crazy, terrifying the newspaper's editors? You bet! More » -
#obama
Media Investigates Black Man's Aggressive 'Touching'
President Obama is okay and everything, but why is he always touching everybody? That hurts! Remember when he put his hand on that Politico reporter's shoulder? Now Politico has brought in the FBI: More » -
#media
Conde Editors Get Their Precious Domain Names Back
Last month Cityfile unveiled, oh, a hundred or so domain names of famous New Yorkers' names that it had bought, just because it could. Conde Nast immediately marshaled its team of high-powered attorney warriors! More » -
#threats
BREAKING: Brad Pitt Still Not in Danger
A few months after Brad Pitt's security detail evacuated him from a perfectly safe Toronto hotel, TMZ sends late word that the actor is once again not threatened by an emergency near his L.A. home. -
#gaypanic
Gay-Threat State Sen Issues Incomprehensible Clarifying Press Release
Ruben Diaz Sr got mad at the gays and some threats were made, but now Diaz has set the record straight in a crazy press release addressed to "Liz Smith." More »
