Now that polio is out of control in Pakistan, the White House has finally decided to let it be known that the CIA is very sorry about using public-health efforts as cover in its secret war—thereby encouraging anti-vaccination violence—and we won't do it anymore. (Unless we're lying about that, as more misdirection.)
Please Start Using Condoms, Old People
According to a recent New York Times op-ed from Ezekiel J. Emanuel, studies find that STDs are rising in communities of single senior citizens.
The CIA's Program to Spread Polio in Pakistan is Working
Two health-care workers were shot yesterday, one fatally, in Peshawar, Pakistan, leading the World Health Organization to suspend polio vaccinations there. Though no one has reportedly taken credit for the attack, it fits with an ongoing anti-vaccination terror campaign by the Pakistani Taliban, which believes health…
Your Fancy Foie Gras Has Poop in It: A Guide to New York's Filthiest Michelin-Starred Restaurants
As part of our ongoing inquiry into the filthy elite of New York's food and restaurant scene, today we present annotated Health Department report cards for the least sanitary restaurants that also have Michelin stars.
Airlift Hand Sanitizer to Occupy Wall Streeters Posthaste!
The New York Daily News reports that the Occupy Wall Street protesters of New York City—the most hygienically sound municipality in all of North America—need to start using hand sanitizer if they wish to avoid succumbing to infection and disease-death. (The same paper once reported that hand sanitizer is a lie, but…
Vermont, New York Nuclear Power Plants Shut Down in Unrelated Incidents
Nuclear power plants in Vermont and New York were shut down in unrelated incidents—but there's "no threat to public health."
