An Arizona high school teacher was removed from the classroom and cited for public intoxication Wednesday after students said she was drunk and yelling at them during math class.

A highly intoxicated college student in York was walking home from the pub with a fresh pizza from King's with which he intended to vanquish the drunk munchies.

Monday was not the best day of David Marshall's life. By six p.m., the 38-year-old from Jonesboro, Arkansas was so obliterated that he'd passed out in an apartment-complex parking lot and the neighbors had to call the cops. This was not a good reason to smile. So what was?

Steve Cullum was flying back home, minding his own business, when he suddenly found himself crotch-to-face with a very sleepy seatmate.

A middle-aged woman found naked outside her apartment with her head stuck in a staircase handrail told police she was having sex with her boyfriend in public in order to "spice things up."

BBC Radio Stoke host Paula White, who has filled the station's afternoon slot with "guests, chat and outlook on life" for the past six years, was unceremoniously pulled off the air during her final program over concerns she was drunk on the job.

The New York Post's Page Six reported today that Tony Danza "freaked out several passengers" in First Class during a weekend flight from New York to Los Angeles after he suddenly yaxied his guts into an air sickness bag.

William Hilton Paul, the 19-year-old son of Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY) and grandson of former Texas congressman Ron Paul, was taken into police custody yesterday at North Carolina's Charlotte Douglas International Airport for public intoxication following a Saturday morning flight from Kentucky.

Bronson Pelletier, known to Twihards the world over as Wolf Pack member Jared, was recently arrested at LAX for public intoxication after peeing on the floor inside one of the airport's terminals.

"I was making my way home after dinner when we quite literally bumped into this chap on the escalators between the Northern and Central lines at Tottenham Court Road station," said footage-taken Sam Napper, adding that he initially thought the "drunk Japanese businessman" was putting on a show for "his FX Trader…

Standing in the security line at Washington Dulles International Airport yesterday morning, Facebook DC manager Adam Conner spotted a fellow passenger drinking an alcoholic beverage straight out of the bottle and "offering swigs to other passengers."

Shaun White is doing his part to perpetuate the stereotype of the drunk and disorderly snowboarder-skater: the Olympic gold medalist has been charged with public intoxication and vandalism.

A news team from Central Arkansas NBC affiliate KARK were in Benton on Sunday shooting a story about a house damaged by a fallen tree when out of the woods walked an intoxicated man wearing naught but the clothes he was born with.

Country singer Randy Travis today had his third run-in with the cops this year after he reportedly got into a drunken brawl with the estranged husband of his girlfriend outside a church in Plano, Texas.