The 10-second tape—which shows Ms. Tequila playing with a man's penis and then show's the man's face before ending abruptly—was put up on a free porn site. Tila says that the scene was on her laptop which was stolen about two years ago, and her lawyer is threatening to sue whoever leaked the footage (it's good sized, but not a foot—zing!).

That seems unwise, because what this tape seems to say is, "Hi, I'm Tila Tequila. This is my sex tape. This is the guy I made it with. Please pay attention to us." And this comes less than a week after she got naked and ranted on her UStream page, so she has been begging for some negative attention of the dirty variety.

We have no clue who the guy is, but he's not unattractive—well, for a dude getting his dick molested by Tila Tequila. He kind of looks like Russell Brand's hot brother. As Gawker's resident vagina expert, I can guarantee that there is no vagina in this tape. However, there is a whole lot of sadness.

If you really need to see the footage, it is on a site called 4tube.com that is very NSFW (unless you work in a Thai brothel). It is also not safe for your sanity.

So yea, breast cancer is a big thing, among ladies and all, and people are always talking about "Examine your breasts, ladies," but nobody is actually showing that breast exam, right? That is where WJLA "News" comes in! They're going to show a couple ladies just stone cold examining their bare breasts, for education of the public. Tune in to WJLA during sweeps week to learn about this important issue, of breasts. No reason for mature people to get all titillated! They're doing it for you, the breasted public, reports the Washington Post:

"The public benefits of this will outweigh any criticism," [says WJLA's general manager]. "I suppose some people will call up and say, 'I won't watch your station.' But they'll be outnumbered by those who say, 'You helped my sister. You helped my mother. You helped someone I love.' "

"You helped me leer."
[Pic via]

The novelist created the HBO series Bored to Death, starring Jonathan Schwartzman, but had nowhere to watch it the Sunday before last because he didn't own a TV. Insert your own "precious Brooklyn author eschews television" joke here if you like, but Ames insisted on Twitter he's "just very bad at shopping" and, in any case, had frantic fun watching his own show on other people's televisions for two weeks. Or at least that's how things seemed from his tweets.

And then HBO, where because they got tired, worried or charmed by Ames' Twitter begging, finally just bought him a set. Which, frankly is almost too perfect; we wouldn't put it past the network to set up the whole escapade as a publicity stunt targeted at the show's hipster target audience.

It's some comfort, then, that Ames has used Twitter as a cashless flea market before, offering free foreign editions of his books at a Carroll Gardens bar. That experiment didn't seem to go as well: One of us happened to drop by that night and Ames was there, but not one had yet come looking for his very pretty books. Apparently there are some giveaways even Twitter can't facilitate. Sorry, book lovers.

(Pic by mtkr on Flickr)

The Weblogs Inc. and Mahalo founder held up a series of signs at last night's Yankee-Angels game, including "Yanks in 5 Games" and "Jeter for MVP." Assisting him were two other Web entrepreneurs: Josh Harris (founder of dot-com webcasting company Psuedo.com, star of the documentary We Live in Public, and current boarder in Calacanis' pool house) and Brian Alvey (founder of publishing technology company Crowd Fusion).

Calacanis and Harris managed to get their picture in the Daily News, but not to fight off the guards in Anaheim. Harris tells us:

We had a sign that said "Jeter for MVP" but it got ripped out of our hands by pissed off stadium security guards after Calacanis got under their skin. I am still a huge fan even after Jeter got my space at 600 Broadway.

Psuedo.com used to be headquartered on the top floors of 600 Broadway; Jeter subsequently built a gym on the top three floors. We're not sure if Calacanis will be at Game 5 of the Yankees' American League Championship Series against the Angels on Thursday night, but it's entirely possible he'll learn something about evictions of his own if he attends and keeps up his antics. And that's one public spectacle we'd love to see.

(Pic: Calacanis by Joi Ito)

It was The Yes Men, of course, the liberal group behind the Fake New York Post and the Fake New York Times and plenty of other, similar stunts in which they pose as representatives of some evil corporate entity and pretend that said corporate entity has acquired a conscience, thereby embarrassing said corporate entity when it turns out, no, it was a hoax, Dow Chemical really isn't giving shit to Bhopal survivors, or whatever.

Today's stunt sounded especially good, though, because a guy from the real Chamber of Commerce burst in and caused a scene! The Washington Post was there:

"This guy is a fake! He's lying! This is a stunt that I've never seen before," said Eric Wohlschlegel, an official at the actual Chamber of Commerce, who said he'd heard about the hoax event from a reporter who'd mistakenly shown up at the chamber's headquarters...

Afterward, he said the chamber's position had actually not changed: they have called for "strong" legislation on climate change, but they do not support the bill passed by the U.S. House this summer.
"It is a very sad day," Wohlschlegel said.

Haha! Very sad day for you, dude! The Yes Men's fake newspapers are always too earnest to be funny but these things are, in fact, funny. We haven't found any video of this one yet, but enjoy their Dow Chemical hoax, below. [Pic via]

UPDATE: Here's a screenshot of the Reuters story that briefly went out on the wires falling for the hoax. And below is a clip of Fox Business reporting the Chamber's new position as breaking news, via Enviroknow (which has a clip of CNBC falling for it as well).

It became clear one microsecond after our post went up that this was probably a hoax, since none of the people or places featured in the "interview" appeared to have any Google history, which, in the US of A, means you are a fucking fraud. (Note our rapid post-post disclaimer!). Which, on a personal note, was very disappointing, because just imagine the video we could have made when we traveled to this Rape Tunnel, and sent an armed intern through it. Internet gold.

Anyhow, the more interesting(?) question was, "Hey, what was the artistic 'motivation' of the nuts who made up this imaginary thing, eh?" Now Artlurker tells us, via the Miami New Times:

When the author of The Rape Tunnel pitched the idea to us we loved it. Of course it's an extremely sensitive subject, but our motivation for publishing the piece was to comment on contemporary art, not rape.

We cannot say what the intentions of the author were, but ours were simple: to generate conversation on the state of contemporary art based on the fact that an event like this is no so unrealistic today.

Okay, good! Now can someone get to work on building this Rape Tunnel?
[Pic: Artlurker]

Gadget play is, after all, fun to engage in but excruciating to watch; we can't imagine Stewart's thousands of home viewers will enjoy watching a distracted crowd frantically fingering their BlackBerrys. Which means the flood of retweets and Tumblr postings Rachel Sklar predicts over at Mediaite might not do much for Stewart, since they'll be showcasing a below-par episode of her show.

Still, the exercise should be worthwhile, if only because the geek crowd can help the domestic media overlord increase the destructive powers of her Twitter feed, a dark vortex of explosions, fire and animal death.

Arjan El Fassed, who bought the street name and who has, naturally, promoted it on his Twitter feed, told Wired.com the money goes to the Palestinian Child Care Society, an after school program. He named "@arjanelfassed tweetstreet" after his Twitter account, which takes self promotion either to new heights or new lows. Given how hard it is to make materialistic American consumers care about some street in the occupied territories, we'll go with the former.

After all, if anything happens to the people on this block, good or bad, America's insular Twittering masses might actually take time to read about it. Nice trick.

(Pic via Arjan El Fassed)

Top stories:

• "We're Screwed!" By climate change.
• "Pentagon top brass warn: Act now, or pay later with ‘lives'." Global warming kills.
• "Congress cops out on climate." Greenhouse gas is dangerous.

Apparently, instead of flooding the East River with Survivaballs as we originally thought, this fake paper was The Yes Men's big stunt. It's keyed to promote The Age of Stupid, the soon-to-be-released environmental flick. Want to know where you can pick up your free copy of the Fake New York Post? The group sent out an email advisory last night to volunteers telling them to go to the following spots. You should still see liberals out there with the papers if you go now:

* UN Headquarters - 2nd Ave. and E. 41st Street, SE corner (subway: 4-5-6
Grand Central)

* Grand Central - E. 42nd St. and Lexington, SW corner (subway: 4-5-6
Grand Central)

* Penn Station - W. 33rd Street between 7th and 8th Ave., nearer to 7th
Ave. (subway: A-C-E-1-2-3 Penn Station)

* Columbus Circle - corner of 58th and 8th Ave., NW side (subway:
1-A-B-C-D, Columbus Circle)

* Wall Street area - just north of 20 Broad Street, near Wall Street
(subway: JMZ Broad Street or 4-5 Wall Street)

* Atlantic Ave. (BROOKLYN) subway stop, on the corner of Ashland and
Hansen Place

* Staten Island Ferry building - northwest corner of State Street and
Whitehall Street (subway: 1, South Ferry station)

* World Trade Center - Church and Barclay, SE corner (subway: E or Path to
WTC, 4-5 Fulton Street)

* Union Square - northwest side, near 17th Street

[Pic: Flickr, Flickr]

I once wrote that The Lady Gaga Penis Conspiracy is the birther movement of pop culture, but far more entertaining. I was wrong. The Lady Gaga Penis Conspiracy is the one-armed man of pop culture, and tonight's VMAs could be its grassy knoll. This is exciting, if only because there's a substantial pop culture rumor out there that a chart-topping pop star has a cock. As recently as last week, Lady Gaga quoted her vagina as "offended" by these accusations. Her vagina would say that, though. This is part of the (literal) cover-up. Pay attention. Read between the creases in the fabric.

Much of the nonsense started when Gaga went BlaBla and was quoted as saying:

It's not something that I'm ashamed of, just isn't something that I go around telling everyone. Yes. I have both male and female genitalia, but I consider myself a female. It's just a little bit of a penis and really doesn't interfere much with my life. The reason I haven't talked about it is that it's not a big deal to me. Like come on. It's not like we all go around talking about our vags. I think this is a great opportunity to make other multiple gendered people feel more comfortable with their bodies. I'm sexy, I'm hot. I have both a poon and a peener. Big f*cking deal.

And then the world of pop culture went that's totally ridiculous and completely absurd but OMFG! Lady Gags is a bizarre one—I mean, she's a pop star claiming to be a hermaphrodite—so it could be true.

Then she had a performance where she leaped over a motorcycle and hey, that thing in your pants, IT KINDA LOOKS LIKE IT MIGHT BE A LITTLE PENIS.

Closer examination would reveal that it could be a snag in the fabric, or, I don't know, an enlarged clitoris. Think about it! Clitoromegaly--which, I promise, you do not want to Google Image unless you're a rising OB/GYN—is a "congenital anomaly of the genitalia" in which basically the clitoris could be mistaken for a very small penis. Lady GaGa, in all of her infinite wisdom and ego, might have mistaken this for a penis. And she did sing "Poker Face," which, come on. Think of the innuendos. People didn't think "Blister In The Sun" was about masturbation—why, I don't know, because it really is—until the Violent Femmes were like, yes, it's about masturbation. "Poker Face" is about Lady Gaga using her genitalia to, well, poke the face of her victims. To the lyrics!

I wanna roll with him a hard pair we will be
A little gambling is fun when you're with me I love it)
Russian Roulette is not the same without a gun
And baby when it's love if its not rough it isn't fun, fun

The gun, of course, being her dick.

Gawker's Brian Moylan went looking for Lady Gaga's elusive penis in her OUT magazine photoshoot, which didn't have any crotch shots, clothed or otherwise. He came back empty-handed.

Dodai over at Sister Jez went over some of the speculation and quotes Lady Gaga had in the lead-up to her VMA performance, in a strident, beautiful defense of the batshit insanity that is Lady Gaga's career. Among the better ones:

I would say that the fashion for the performance is a representation of the most stoic and memorable martyrs of fame in history. It's intended to be an iconic image that represents people. I think after watching the performance and maybe studying it after you watch it on YouTube, you'll see the references and the symbols come through.

You knew we were gonna go here. Recently, medical tests proved that South African sprinter Caster Semenya was more or less a hermaphrodite, or at least, has a condition that makes her gender slightly more difficult to fit into one of two choices. Caster Semenya and Lady Gaga could be the first in a series of reveals that will shock and change pop culture forever.

As far as pop culture rumors go, however, this kind of thing has disappointing precedent.

Finally, we're not the only ones to hear these rumblings. The Awl heard speculation of such insanity, and commenter Momo/Rod Townsend hears the same. And if two blogs think so, then there might be something to this. A nation awaits with baited breath. Penis or no penis, Lady Gaga has commanded our attention. Let this terrible urban mythology be put to rest.

Okay, so if Viacom hasn't pulled the video off, you might still be able to watch it here. It's basically, as Maura Johnston put it best, Lady Gaga meets Bunnicula. Either way, just know...

I AM NOT MAKING THIS SHIT UP.

The company altered its code to insert a fake "Fax This Photo" link under every Facebook picture viewed from the account of at least one TechCrunch reporter, Jason Kincaid. After Kincaid emailed Facebook's PR team, he got the reply, "We already faxed you a statement on this??? Didn't you get it?" Which, of course, was part of the joke.

For a startup like Facebook that hates growing up, stunts like this one must be more fun than running a business. But as long as Facebook is procrastinating on revenue development, why not just skip work entirely, maybe grab a beer? Fun can involve things other than computers and programming, Valley geeks!

(Top pic: Kincaid via Crunchbase)

[Shamelessness is ranked on a 1-10 scale, lowest to highest. "1"= Inklings of genuine shame, "5"= Milli Vanilli-level shamelessness, "10"= Donald Rumsfeld.]

NYP Story: (Jewish) In-Laws Suing (Black) Comedian in the Family For Joking About Them!
Real Story, Publicity Stunt, or Pure Invention?: 80% pure invention, 20% real story.
Sexxxy pic potential: Disappointingly low. Unless the fight gets dirtier!
Actual NYP Glee outweighs professed NYP outrage by a factor of: 2, but only because the Post has a hard time working up outrage against things that let them make "Black-Jew" jokes in the lead of stories.
Shamelessness: 3

NYP Story: Zach Hyman Taking Nude Pixxx of Ladies All Over Town!
Real Story, Publicity Stunt, or Pure Invention?: Publicity Stunt by Hyman, clearly.
Sexxxy pic potential: Extremely high.
Actual NYP Glee outweighs professed NYP outrage by a factor of: 3
Shamelessness: 4

NYP Story: Skankblogger Calls Model a 'Skank' on Internet!
Real Story, Publicity Stunt, or Pure Invention?: 90% invention. 10% real story.
Sexxxy pic potential: With one attractive lady suing another over for posting sexxxy skank pics, not too shabby.
Actual NYP Glee outweighs professed NYP outrage by a factor of: 10
Shamelessness: 6

NYP Story: Sexxxy Nude People Are Having Sex in the Windows of the Standard Hotel Where Everyone Can See!
Real Story, Publicity Stunt, or Pure Invention?: What started as a publicity stunt by the Standard Hotel has now spiraled into a subject for the Post's bottomless inventiveness.
Sexxxy pic potential: Stratospheric.
Actual NYP Glee outweighs professed NYP outrage by a factor of: 25
Shamelessness: 8.5

Justin Massler is the self-appointed head of the Heroic Destiny Squad, and he also used to call himself "Cloud Starchaser" and be a self-appointed big nemesis of Tucker Max. He also likes to write about himself, on the internet.

So anyhow after our post yesterday he sent us a long, ostensibly wacky/crazy letter of complaint, and then, when that did not generate immediate publicity, sent us another email titles "You win, Gawker and The Observer. I'll kill myself." Also he put this sentiment on his brand new Twitter page.

We are about 93% sure that Justin is an attention-hungry kid with too much time on his hands, which, ironically, makes him similar to Tucker Max. Often, a period of confinement in a good psychiatric ward can do wonders for people voicing suicide threats. It's a cry for help. Anyone who knows Justin, maybe work on that now. In the off chance he's actually serious: Justin, it's not worth it. Nobody cares that much what we say about people. And we're not going to write about you any more no matter what you do, so your blaze of glory would be pretty muted. Go live your life and have a fun time! As should we all!
[Pic via]

Recent weeks have also seen Lady Gaga wearing a coat made of miniature Kermit the frogs for German TV, partying with David Hasselhoff, pleading impending poverty and groping her boobs and mooning, in a nightclub. The latter was prt of a gay pride event; this new incident is surely likewise intended as PR catnip for Gaga's gay fan base, offering the opportunity for endless debate on the nature of human sexuality and our society's need to gender cultural icons.

So it's at least a brow above Spears flashing her vag on the way out of a car. It's downright sociological, kinda! And as a viral phenomenon, it could be even bigger; the supposed confirmation is just psuedo enough to be titillating, an unlinked quote of Gaga saying "Yes. I have both male and female genitalia... It's just a little bit of a penis." Given the singer's motor-scooter-shimmy and tiny skirt in the video below, it's hard to imagine she didn't intend to reveal something:

Is hermaphrodism officially the last gender-sexuality combination still reliably considered freaky, in a titillating way, around the world? Quite possibly!

He was Peter Killy, a fortysomething actor who was making an indie movie, The Robber Barons of Wall Street. This particular pose was a shot they plan to use for the promotional poster.

Is there nothing magical in this world?
[Daily Intel]

[Via Agency Spy] Other ideas:

Learn to dance.

Do whatever Ronn [sic] Torossian says. Communicate gooder!

At last, libertarian political ideals can finally be expressed, on the internet. The tweet: