Rabbis teach. Rabbis counsel. Rabbis lead. Rabbis support. Rabbis... kidnap and, uh, torture?

What has your life been missing, up until this point? A man who appreciates you for you, yes, that's one thing; but also, this video, uncovered by Politico's Maggie Haberman: Republican presidential candidate Rick Perry, the goy-est of the goy, dancing with a bunch of Texas Rabbis at a hanukkah celebration last year.

A rabbinical court in Jerusalem has sentenced a dog to stoning, according to Behadrei Hadarim, a Hebrew website for ultra-Orthodox Jews. The sentencing came after a large dog wandered into the Monetary Affairs Court in the neighborhood of Mea Shearim.

Rabbi Baruch Chalomish is on trial in England for operating what prosecutors call a "commercial cocaine-supply operation" and paying prostitutes with coke. That's the bad news. The good news is that his partner in crime is named Nasir Abbas.

Incompetent flackery factory 5WPR has admitted to the internet sock puppetry we covered yesterday-posting fake comments on a blog on behalf of a client. That client, by the way, is a kosher slaughterhouse called Agriprocessors, which has long been under fire for workplace safety and immigration law violations. 5W CEO…